Lisbon

Its been 3 days since i decided to quit drinking, but im already trying to convince myself that i dont actually have a problem with booze. Im already telling myself i dont need to cut this out of my life, i dont crave it, im not addicted. Already telling myself that i can have just a few and be fine. Already telling myself im not like everyone else on SR, i just joined in a moment of weakness, i dont have a dependancy on alcohol. Im not as far down the rabbit hole as a lot of the posts im reading...yet

This is my weekly mechanism, by Friday i will be full fledged weekend warrior mode, i need to break this habit of mentally convincing myself im invincible...

IOAA2

Hi. I also felt unique for too long also before I realized that alcohol is a progressive disease and will never get any better than it is today. Your moment of weakness is perhaps the best thing done in your life. I needed to get honest with myself about my drinking, not easy when drinking. I went to meetings and said this or that never happened to me and I was told to add the word YET = Your Eligible Too.
Believe me it's far easier to stop drinking now than anytime in the future.

BE WELL

Anna

Yes, you do.

So, what can you do this week to convince yourself that alcohol is no longer an option in your life? Maybe you can make plans for the weekend to be doing something that doesn't involve alcohol or people who are drinking?

360shoes

Hi Lisbon,
I had to remember it was a lot more than just the drinking at first. I didn't always drink everyday and I didn't really drink more as the years went by. More than most people but I still managed to pull off some asemblance of a half *ssed life. Still. It was enough to cause me to be pretty miserable and unhappy most days.

I had to be honest with myself that it just wasn't working. It just was not enough for me. I didn't want to live that way anymore.

And there was no in between. I either drink and get a less than existence or I either quit and get a shot at seeing what I can really be. One or the other.

If all I wanted was just a life of surviving and hangovers, I knew exactly what to do. Keep drinking. If I wanted at least a chance of seeing and being the real me...well, only one option.

I knew it would never be enough if I kept it up. I had to make a choice and then figure how to make it work. No way around it.

Give yourself the opportunity to see there is another way to live. You deserve to know that. And I don't think there is any other way to find out.

You can do it!

doggonecarl

It wasn't a moment of weakness. As you stated in your first post:

"Today, after months of consideration..."

Months of consideration. So joining was a moment of strength, not weakness. What you are experiencing is the deceptive tricks of addiction, the crazy dance of quit and relapse that we have all gone through. Recognize this, stay true to your committment. Tell yourself, "People without a problem with alcohol don't have arguements in their heads about drinking or not. People without a problem with alcohol don't struggle to not drink."

You do. That puts you in the problem category.

Stay strong.

anewpage

This is my usual pattern too, every time I try to stop drinking. My inner alcoholic voice starts whispering things to me... "you're not really an alcoholic... you can control your drinking... just have one and then you'll feel better.." etc. Every single time I have given in, I've ended up at the same place. Finishing a bottle of vodka, crying myself to sleep and hating myself the next day. So I'm working on not listening to that voice. In fact, telling that voice to get lost. Good luck!

NJKitty

I agree with everyone above. Most of us have also been down that road. It was our AV. Try reading about AVRT.

Leshar

I felt as you did when I first joined SR. I'd say so many of us do/did.
It's good that you posted this. Please don't give up.
Good luck.

Nonsensical

The most difficult part of being addicted to alcohol for me was coming to the realization that being addicted means part of my brain is actively working against my plan to stop drinking. Actively. It speaks to me in my head, trying to convince me that I should drink again. It's like a voice in my head. My Alcoholic Voice.

It does not live in the part of my brain that processes logic, or reason, or morals, or inhibitions. It doesn't comprehend any of that. It just understands the compulsion to drink, and it uses whatever tools it has to compel me to do what it wants - drink.

It lies, bargains, threatens, whines, begs, flatters, and romances - whatever it thinks I want to hear. It can't be reasoned with, placated, educated, silenced, or trusted.

It must be starved.

My addiction has been talking in my head for more than 25 years. In all that time it has not told me one true thing. Not one.

My life improved dramatically when I stopped taking advice from a liar. I highly recommend it.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

firstymer

Lisbon, I read your very first post. I don't know you. So I don't have any reason to lie to you (like your AV does). You do have a problem. Sorry, but you do.

The good news is that you also have a solution. You just have to embrace it.

Good luck.

unchartedxo

Your profile says you are into crossfit and soccer. I'm into soccer and weightlifting/HIIT. even if you only become a drinking warrior on the weekend, do the research on how that level of intoxication and dehydration damages your muscle and yor metabolism. It's horrible for athletes. Maybe that can help quiet the urges?

joyfullysober

Wow nonsensical, good post! I am thinking about giving the AV a name so I can dissociate from it and fight it. I may call it the Beast or something like that any suggestions?

Lisbon, I really suggest you reading again all these posts on Friday, specifically yours. It should help you realize what comes next.

jkirk

Day three is the toughest. Go for walks, work out, do anything but stay at home. I had the same thoughts that you listed, ask yourself, do people without a drinking problem ask themselves those questions all day? Stay tough and don't give in.

afloatsober

Only illness that i know that tells us we're all right when we're all wrong!
Did that to me for years.
Keep moving forward.
I doubt that you joined s/r out of boredom and i'd go with your original reasons for joining.
Well done on 3 days!!!

MIRecovery

I found will power was never enough. When I reached out to the fellowship of AA I felt there was hope. SR is great but it can not replace human to human interaction

HealthFirst

For me, I'm a fan of proving to myself that I can take on a challenge. This abstinence that I decided on yesterday is my latest challenge that I'm taking on. It's going to be hard but so darn satisfying to know that I've beat it. I also made a pledge to a friend of mine who said he'll hold me accountable for 60 days of non-drinking (he's a non-drinker and doesn't understand the disease so well) that I'll donate $500 to a charity if I slip in the next 60 days.

LBrain

quite the miracle worker lisbon, It took me two whole weeks to be cured.

sugarbear1

those thoughts are typical for day 3, if you can survive more days, you are really on your way to healing!

Fishescircle

Hi lisbon, I'm on my second nite, so on my third nite I'm going to tell the mushy side of my brain to get lost. Thanks for the warning. Keep strong, I'm trying to.

Carlotta

Logic would dictate then that if alcohol is causing your problems and they keep getting worst, you should abstain altogether.
This is your addictive voice talking, anyone who is not an alcoholic would not try to convince himself of anything but would just say: Ok I got in trouble because of alcohol I won't drink anymore and that would be it, they would give it up and not obsess about it.