Tinzo

So, I've been sober for about two and a bit days now. I've been here many times before when I say "I'm done drinking, that's it etc." This time I googled AA meetings around where I live and found one that's for beginners. Feeling nervous and not really knowing what to expect. I see a phyc at the moment but I don't feel it's enough. I want to have more of a regular support network hence why I'm going to the meeting this Sunday. I don't feel people around me know what alcohol has done to my general sense of self. Guilt, remorse, regret and self loathing. Being a room with people with similar experiences makes me uneasy and at ease at the same time.

Ruby2

Good for you. Finding a beginners meeting is a great way to start. I attend a beginners meeting on Friday nights. It is a very nice mix of people with long term sobriety and newcomers. Formats differ but at the meeting I attend people go around the table and introduce themselves. A general question "is this anyone's first AA meeting in life?" is asked. Newcomers are welcomed to the group and with most meetings an introductory packet is handed around and members of the same sex as the newcomer write their name and phone number on the packet which is provided to the newcomer. The phone numbers are those of people who you can call if you are struggling and need someone to talk to.

A topic is discussed relating to the program. Sometimes it is how to cope with urges. Or what if you are angry. Or the first three steps. Someone, usually the chairperson, gives a lead and then it is open to discussion. You don't have to talk. You can sit and listen if that is what you prefer.

It is welcoming. Good job on two days.

Ruby2

I also just came from another meeting where this was discussed. We all felt that coming to AA was like a homecoming of sorts because no matter how different all the people there are from you in terms of looks, dress, background, we are all there because the people around us know the struggles we are having. it sets me at ease to know that.

1newcreation

Then your the perfect candidate for that 1st mtg! Felt same way:bit apprehensive but later calmed down coz no 1 there knew me & vice versa. Didnt share however knew I was finally home based on what almost everyone said
Twill be ok

Tinzo

Thanks guys, sounds like it's something to look forward to, not dread. It may sound silly but because I'm not everyday drinker as such, my problem is when I start I cannot limit myself and drink enough that is dangerous. Am I still a good candidate for AA even though I can go days without a drink?

tornrealization

Yes. Coming from someone who still gets nervous going to them and doesn't share. I hit one or two a week, been four weeks. I do hear stories about people just drinking weekends or not having control after they start at one.

The thing is, you don't have to be a daily drinker, lose everything drinker to know its time to get support.

I'm shy with AA and testing the toes in the water. So far, I walk away with a nugget or more that makes me think and belong. People have always been nice too despite my crushing shyness.

Berrybean

Yep - if you want to quit and know it'll be hard (regardless of amounts or when) AA will help. Everyone has their own story. I love going to AA (I know that sounds odd) because it's such a mix of people. Different backgrounds, ages, interests. The one thing we all have in common is an ex-friend. Alcohol. The others all understand how that little s**t manipulates us, plays with our emotions, and chucks it back at us the morning after.

Good luck for your meeting - take a deep breath and get through the door. You don't need to say anything if you don't want. Maybe get there a little early so you can introduce yourself as a new person without too many people there. Just listen and contribute when you want to.

Take some tissues (the first few meetings can be emotional for lots of people) and some loose change for the pot that pays for the hall, coffee, etc. I like to look at the daily reflection before going to meetings (as I'm a little deaf) - you can find that here...

Alcoholics Anonymous : DAILY REFLECTIONS
Todays is quite a good one as it's your first meeting!!

yeahgr8

Well done you are proactively looking for real life help to solve your alcoholism, all you have to do now is turn up to the meetings! Really positive step to make!

Enjoy feeling nervous and not knowing what to expect, it will all become familiar to you soon enough.

Tinzo

Yeah I think I'll probably just listen at the first meeting, not a overly confident person in terms of speaking in groups... especially sober!

Tamerua

I was a weekend binge drinker and would be on most weeks and then sometimes would really get crazy and have a hangover that would end all hangovers. I have found that AA has helped me sooooo much. I wish I had done it sooner. I'm a totally different person now, in a good way. This will be good for you.

I also listened for a long time..: still do sometimes (going on a year and a half) because the folks around me have loads of wisdom. Introduce yourself though so that they know you are new and they will give you phone numbers.

tomsteve

good to hear this!! are you a good candidate even if you don't drink every day? well, only you can answer that and if you feel you are, then you are.. theres something ive leanred in my time in AA: quantity consumed doesnt have much t do with it, but I had some apprehension myself at 1st. for me I drank a lot. then at meetings I heard people who had been farther down the scale than me. made me start wondering if I was bad enough.
then I started hearing more. I heard from the woman that drank wine on weekends, the man that had 6 blackouts in his entire drinking career, the man that only drank every other day, the woman that had only drank heavily for a year. one thing in common between them and me: the thinking.
when I started hearing the thinking I thought for sure these people I never met had been following me! how could they know how I felt about me?? how could they know the thoughts that went though my head??? but yet they were talking about themselves??
yup...there were people that had been in my shoes and they had a great solution.
ya might want to google "big book online" and read the first 164 pages.

IOAA2

For me it was what alcohol did to me. I'd go from being responsible to irresponsible, caring to non caring, giving to selfish, friendly to angry, outgoing to isolationist and on and on. Then came the physical part that most are familiar with. Sober is hard at times but so much better.
I suggest anyone give it a 90 day try. As they say your misery is refundable.

BE WELL