I've hit a new low

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05-07-2014, 07:39 PM

# 21 (permalink)

airwick

Member

Join Date: Apr 2014

Posts: 1,544

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrendonM

I work in a lab, and while I thought I had hit rock bottom, I was obviously wrong, because yesterday I was this close to taking a bottle of 100% ethanol. The fact that I entertained the notion and put my shoes on and needed an entire 10 minutes to talk myself out is horrible. My entire journey towards recovery has been based on the idea that I'm worth more, how can a degenerate like me ever get better? I didn't drink this weekend, but somehow I still feel like a scumbag just for thinking the thoughts I did.

Stealing pure ethanol from a lab, how low can you go?

Nobody else but YOU, talked yourself OUT of making that mistake!

That shows strength, dedication and will power. It was no more then a

thought.

When I hit three months of not drinking I'll be looking for you to give me

encouragement

05-08-2014, 04:54 AM

# 22 (permalink)

Nonsensical

Hears The Voice

Join Date: Jan 2013

Location: Unshackled

Posts: 7,901

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrendonM

I just want to yell at my brain and make it behave.

Me too. Unfortunately the part of my brain causing the trouble can't be controlled by the frontal cortex. It can't be reasoned with, educated, or made to feel immoral. I can't make it stop trying to compel me to drink.

On the flip side, that misbehaving part of my brain can't control my frontal cortex. It can suggest, but it can't take any action on its own.

I have to hear its suggestions and feel its compulsions, but I don't have to do anything about it. The choice to do something is made in my frontal cortex, which is reasonable, educated, and moral. I can choose to take action or not take action.

I choose to starve it.