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Old 07-03-2004, 10:52 AM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Gates, Oregon
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Going back down

Hi, I'm Becky and I'm a drug addict. This is my first post, so excuse my ignorance. I went into rehab Jan. 04. Now I'm just kind of exsisting. I have terrible anxiety which keeps me from meetings and that leads to boredom, lonliness and too much time to feel like a total burden on my family. I desperatley need to keep my attitude right and stay out of that ugly abyss of pity and depression. Does anybody know when and if this up and down swing ends? Some days I'm O.K. and am active and optomistic, but then.... I just want to stay clean and enjoy life. Someone please tell me this will happen. My family is a great help and very supportive, but this mental part scares them and I think they think I should be O.K. now that I'm off drugs.
Any advise???
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Old 07-03-2004, 11:01 AM   #2 (permalink)

Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Anytown, USA
Posts: 101
hey becky, welcome. i am just like you are describing normally. i think that is why i smoked so much pot. prayer is my advice. i am a little ignorant as well, but that is what got me here and is making me less of a panic attacked hermit. too scared to go anywhere for fear of whatever might happen, but staying inside my house without any desire to be around anyone or enjoy company left me extremely bored and detached. i know how it feels to be just 'existing', wondering what the hell you are doing here. surely life can't be this miserable, right? that's how i felt constantly. the only thing that brought me thru was prayer. literally getting down on hands and knees day after day and begging for something better. some type of joy in my soul. it worked. coming here was a great start i think. i hope today is a good day for you.
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Old 07-03-2004, 11:06 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: The Mohave Desert
Posts: 2,306
Hi Becky...
Welcome to SoberRecovery!
You will find alot of wonderful people here who are willing to share and care each other through our batttles.
Have you talked to your Dr. about taking some medication for the anxiety?
Getting out to meetings and being around other addicts will help you through this time of changes and confusion.
I do not know your history or how long you used, but it does take time to
re-wire our addictive brains.
It will get better and you found a place to come and be safe and surrounded by people who care and understand.
If you have any questions please feel free to send me a personal message.
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Old 07-03-2004, 11:10 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Honolulu, HI
Posts: 5
Think Positive

Hi Becky
I know what you mean about anxiety and how it can keep you from things you need to do in life. I force myself to do things that actually makes me ill. I figure what is more important a bit of anxiety to deal with or a life full of termoil and lost friends and hurt family members. Then meetings get easier and I can actually share. So try to go and meet people and find a life of sobriety with a bunch of happiness.
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Old 07-03-2004, 12:40 PM   #5 (permalink)
we're all mad here!
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: a padded room with bars
Posts: 1,681
What Kelly said.

I'm an alcoholic and addict. I self medicated to ESCAPE the anxiety and depression. These were always there. Catch-22........ alcohol and drugs reduce your ability to handle stress and depression. You get used to the effects of the drugs and lose your normal coping mechanisms.

Now that I'm off drugs and booze, they are there again. Just taking away the substances didn't take away my mental dependency.

So, my advice to you would be to see a doc and get out to those meetings! I know getting out to the meetings is scary (boy do I know anxiety), but once you do, a whole new world will open. Addicts helping addicts. You'll get phone numbers to call when you have probs.

Now to your question, finally..
On its own, the anxiety and depression will slowly get better as you redevelope coping skills. You will slowly learn how to deal with the mental aspect of the disease. I don't have prescription coverage so I am limited in the meds I can get... I'm learning to deal with alot of it with a bit of help from my doc.

If you go to a doc, s/he might be able to explain to your family why you are having probs.
The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.
---------Terry Pratchett
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Old 07-03-2004, 01:12 PM   #6 (permalink)

Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Georgia
Posts: 109
Welcome Becky,

I am Triegger a newly admitted alcoholic working through my first day of sobriety. I am still to new at this to offer advice, but I know that there are tons of people out here who care and offer their support.

KNow my prayers and thoughts are with you,

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Old 07-04-2004, 07:34 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Hi Becky!
I'm glad to see you got in finally! Keep thinking positive even on those negative day's!
Surround yourself with people that are understanding of your addiction. Force yourself to meetings, use those phone numbers, but most of all be patient and tolerant of yourself, this does take time, it will get better, and we'll be here for you!
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