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I need to get sober!

Old 05-04-2014, 04:43 AM
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I need to get sober!

Well hello everyone, I figured joining a support network like with people that understand our disease would help for some much extra support staying sober. My drug of choice has always been alcohol. Since my teenage years I would say I've had a problem controlling how much I drink. It truly a vicious cycle. I'm on the verge of losing my wife and young daughter again. I need to show them I can get sober for good. I just don't know how when things seem so bleak. Thanks for reading.
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Old 05-04-2014, 04:48 AM
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Glad you are here with us on SR.

Good news is that you can stop and be the father and husband you want to be. Alcohol changes us in a negative way in all aspects of our lives.

Other than SR, have you considered additional support? Some need more than others, there are great support systems, AA, AVRT, smart recovery etc.

You can do this, post as much as you need ;-)
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Old 05-04-2014, 04:55 AM
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Welcome Tinzo,

It is difficult but at the same time very simple. The first thing is to put down the drink and promise yourself you will never drink again. YOU CAN NEVER DRINK AGAIN!
All it takes is not drinking one day at a time. Just for today, this hour or whatever you need to do to not drink in the moment.
There are different programs/methods to help you. You'll get plenty of support and encouragement from the members here.
Stand by for suggestions...
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Old 05-04-2014, 05:02 AM
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Welcome to SR Tinzo.

If you are an Alcoholic,the only way is total abstinence.

Accepting this is not easy but essential to recovery.

It is always the first drink that does the damage,make a decision to stay away from it whatever happens.It helped me in the beginning to think it was only the one drink I couldn't have.It is not easy but you can do it.

Wishing you well.
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Old 05-04-2014, 05:10 AM
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No matter what plan or support ends up working for you, it's going to involve having a Day One, a day that's different than the day before because on this Day One you're not going to drink.

That can be really hard for some people (it was always very hard for me), and not so hard for some others, but pencil that in as Step Number One. Whether you plan it out in advance or it's an impulse buy, that is the step-off-the-cliff moment, the beginning of the end, whatever..

After you get that Day One in the books, after that you're just not starting again. There are a lot of things you can do to help stay on course (AA / therapy / mind tricks / staying busy / go live on a desert island / whatever works), therein lies the complexity and nuance, but it can all be simplified (for purposes of discussion) to "don't start again."

(yeah yeah yeah yeah there's a lot more to it, you have to basically relearn how to live a "normal" life, figure out how to fill your newly-acquired free time, undergo a voyage of personal discovery as you're pretty much a new dude .. but let's not get the head spinning with all that right now; it'll present itself as it comes)


So, yeah - basic blueprint is have a day where you don't drink, then follow that with a day you still don't drink, then follow that with a da -- you see where this is going.
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Old 05-04-2014, 05:27 AM
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Welcome! The thought of losing family is very scary indeed
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Old 05-04-2014, 05:33 AM
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I guess i would warn you though that you need to quit for yourself. I became overwhelmed and started drinking again when quitting didnt save my marriage. Life is good though and it is worth getting sober to enjoy it even if the worst does happen.
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Old 05-04-2014, 05:53 AM
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I have been to a few aa meetings and just hit day 30 with some tough news. But dealing with issues sober and living in reality is the only way we can. Drinking can cover up problems but doesn't provide solutions. I too was the verge of losing my family. I am glad the light bulb finally went off. Just do it. 1 day at a time. Talk to someone if you need to. Use the website and other resources. You are in control and not alcohol. I wish you the best. 1 day at a time is right no matter how cliche.
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Old 05-04-2014, 06:42 AM
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Welcome to the family. There's a lot of support and useful info here. Take advantage of it to get yourself sober for good.
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Old 05-04-2014, 09:39 AM
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Welcome to SR, you'll find loads of support here!!
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Old 05-04-2014, 03:23 PM
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Welcome Tinzo

Sounds like the stakes are high - what's your plan for staying sober?

D
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Old 05-04-2014, 03:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Tinzo View Post
Well hello everyone, I figured joining a support network like with people that understand our disease would help for some much extra support staying sober. My drug of choice has always been alcohol. Since my teenage years I would say I've had a problem controlling how much I drink. It truly a vicious cycle. I'm on the verge of losing my wife and young daughter again. I need to show them I can get sober for good. I just don't know how when things seem so bleak. Thanks for reading.
Hi Tinzo, welcome to the forum, have you had any periods of time abstaining from alcohol in the past?
Look forward to getting to know you,
Wishing you well.
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Old 05-04-2014, 03:32 PM
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Welcome to SR Tinzo! You can do this! Your family is a great reason for you to get it together and be sober. This is a great place for support and information!
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Old 05-04-2014, 03:36 PM
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Glad your here Tinzo - SR has been a huge support for me.
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Old 05-04-2014, 04:10 PM
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Thanks, for all the supportive replys. I'm not sure if it's too late my marriage or not. My wife has put up with my alcohol abuse on and off since we first met. I'm not somebody that drinks everyday but if I decide to have a couple of beers on a Friday night it turns into 20. I have done a lot of things whilst been intoxicated that I regret. Letting go and trying to forgive myself will be a battle in its own right. Again, thanks for all the support guys.
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Old 05-04-2014, 04:32 PM
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Welcome ! I too just joined here today!! The support and well wishes and advise are thus far very very helpful, just identifying and speaking freely with others about problems with alcohol is REFRESHING so many (coworkers friends etc) seem to look "down" on you if you quit or say you NEED to quit. (at least mine have ) its refreshing IMHO to have this forum and these folks. :-)

If nothing else I am on here reading, learning and contributing....instead of drinking, and that IS AWESOME :-)
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Old 05-04-2014, 04:41 PM
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Good Luck

I wish you luck. Have you considered AA?
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Old 05-04-2014, 07:25 PM
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welcome tinzo

sounds like you got a lot to lose....however it isnt so bad because often it takes us to reach that point before we finally surrender and put the plug in the jug.....
if you move carefully and decisively, and keep coming here, get professional help, you will make it.
just remember alcoholism plays for keeps, and the only way to beet it is to be just as ruthless..if you can treat the pro drinking talk in your head as your worst enemy it will stand you in good stead....

peace....
v
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Old 05-04-2014, 07:39 PM
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Hi Everyone....I am new here as of today and was led to doing this because of "once again" getting drunk and scaring my family. My kids are worried, my marriage is not threatened but strained. If I will just quit, our family life will be awesome. I could definitely use this support for these new days ahead without drinking. Today was easy of course, but I'm nervous about tomorrow and I guess overall this next week. I haven't gone a whole week yet without drinking. What a stupid and disgusting habit this has been. I'm ready to start my new sober life!!!!
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