Hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 8
Hello
Hi guys.
Just joined this forum as I feel my drinking is a problem. I drink most days and it is starting to take its toll on me mentally and physically. I am managing to hold down a job, pay my mortgage etc. but in the evenings I just drink.
My biggest problem I find is that I don't have a support network to make the most of and develop any sober periods I have so I just can't seem to quit! Would appreciate advice from those who have been through similar experiences. I hope to be on the forum a lot, to reduce the time spent alone with my thoughts which usually leads to a drink in the hand.
Just joined this forum as I feel my drinking is a problem. I drink most days and it is starting to take its toll on me mentally and physically. I am managing to hold down a job, pay my mortgage etc. but in the evenings I just drink.
My biggest problem I find is that I don't have a support network to make the most of and develop any sober periods I have so I just can't seem to quit! Would appreciate advice from those who have been through similar experiences. I hope to be on the forum a lot, to reduce the time spent alone with my thoughts which usually leads to a drink in the hand.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 277
Welcome Pat82. You have landed at the right place. You will get lots of support here. Keep reading posts and keep posting.
So what is your plan ? Did you quit in the past ? If you never tried before, you are likely to have withdrawal symptoms , when you quit. These symptoms differ from person to person , duration and amounts of alcohol consumed and could be really serious.
The best way is to visit a doctor, share all the details about your drinking pattern with him and seek his advice for tackling withdrawal symptoms.
Now that, you have already joined the forum, do not delay any further and go for it. Read all the posts here and you will get an idea on what to expect and how to cope, when you will quit.
Best of luck
So what is your plan ? Did you quit in the past ? If you never tried before, you are likely to have withdrawal symptoms , when you quit. These symptoms differ from person to person , duration and amounts of alcohol consumed and could be really serious.
The best way is to visit a doctor, share all the details about your drinking pattern with him and seek his advice for tackling withdrawal symptoms.
Now that, you have already joined the forum, do not delay any further and go for it. Read all the posts here and you will get an idea on what to expect and how to cope, when you will quit.
Best of luck
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 8
Thanks for the reply lastchance. I hadn't made a proper plan yet to be honest. I have only ever gone a few days before not drinking in recent years so am not sure what kind of withdrawal to expect, although the fact I can only ever last a few days shows I develop cravings. I don't expect it to be an easy ride this time either!
My main hope is, with the long summer days upon us, is to do something constructive everyday after work - gym, cooking, learn a language etc. I already tried to write down everyday on a calendar what I drank the day before but when I drank lots I couldn't bring myself to write it down. It did help to reduce my drinking though and so I plan to write my first zero today followed by another one tomorrow!
My main hope is, with the long summer days upon us, is to do something constructive everyday after work - gym, cooking, learn a language etc. I already tried to write down everyday on a calendar what I drank the day before but when I drank lots I couldn't bring myself to write it down. It did help to reduce my drinking though and so I plan to write my first zero today followed by another one tomorrow!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 8
Hi Gottalife,
That's a good question! I do believe I am an alcoholic for the following reasons:
- I cannot look in the mirror and say that I am in a good place regarding my drinking
- While I can live a relatively normal life, I feel I am on a downward slope at the moment. My only saving grace I believe is that while I drink often, I can stop after a few. The drinking often thing is catching up on me though
- I believe my drinking is affecting my mood, my physical appearance and my overall physical health.
- I drink mostly on my own rather than in the company of others. And when I do go out I often get nervous and drink faster as a result until I feel more relaxed.
I know I should stop & I have said those words to myself many times but so far have not had any success to shout about.
That's a good question! I do believe I am an alcoholic for the following reasons:
- I cannot look in the mirror and say that I am in a good place regarding my drinking
- While I can live a relatively normal life, I feel I am on a downward slope at the moment. My only saving grace I believe is that while I drink often, I can stop after a few. The drinking often thing is catching up on me though
- I believe my drinking is affecting my mood, my physical appearance and my overall physical health.
- I drink mostly on my own rather than in the company of others. And when I do go out I often get nervous and drink faster as a result until I feel more relaxed.
I know I should stop & I have said those words to myself many times but so far have not had any success to shout about.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Pat,
An alcoholic of my type has a fairly definite pattern of drinking symptoms.
For reasons yet obscure I had lost the power of choice in drink.
I asked myself to consoder the following statement.
"If, when you honestly want to, you cannot quite entirely, or if, when drinking you have little control over the amount you take, then you are probably alcoholic."
That was me. If it fits you, you could do worse than attend a few AA meetings to see if you relate. That's where I found permanent recovery.
An alcoholic of my type has a fairly definite pattern of drinking symptoms.
For reasons yet obscure I had lost the power of choice in drink.
I asked myself to consoder the following statement.
"If, when you honestly want to, you cannot quite entirely, or if, when drinking you have little control over the amount you take, then you are probably alcoholic."
That was me. If it fits you, you could do worse than attend a few AA meetings to see if you relate. That's where I found permanent recovery.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Welcome Pat. Good to see you want to do something to change things.
Everyone has a different journey and there are many different methods people use to achieve sobriety. That is why it's good to take a look around the site get to understand not everyone uses one approach.
Look forward to seeing you around.
Everyone has a different journey and there are many different methods people use to achieve sobriety. That is why it's good to take a look around the site get to understand not everyone uses one approach.
Look forward to seeing you around.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by Gottalife 
Pat,
An alcoholic of my type has a fairly definite pattern of drinking symptoms.
For reasons yet obscure I had lost the power of choice in drink.
I asked myself to consoder the following statement.
"If, when you honestly want to, you cannot quite entirely, or if, when drinking you have little control over the amount you take, then you are probably alcoholic."
That was me. If it fits you, you could do worse than attend a few AA meetings to see if you relate. That's where I found permanent recovery.
An alcoholic of my type has a fairly definite pattern of drinking symptoms.
For reasons yet obscure I had lost the power of choice in drink.
I asked myself to consoder the following statement.
"If, when you honestly want to, you cannot quite entirely, or if, when drinking you have little control over the amount you take, then you are probably alcoholic."
That was me. If it fits you, you could do worse than attend a few AA meetings to see if you relate. That's where I found permanent recovery.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Welcome Pat.
AA meetings are usually listed like you say. Newcomers for new and those that want a newcomers meeting, O = Open which is for everyone, alcoholic and non alcoholic, 12S = 12 step meeting, usually closed, C= closed to alcoholics only, BB = Big Book study, G = Gay, W = Woman. Some meetings use several letters like CBBM = closed big book mens meeting.
In your exploring case I'd try any of the above that fit your situation.
BE WELL
AA meetings are usually listed like you say. Newcomers for new and those that want a newcomers meeting, O = Open which is for everyone, alcoholic and non alcoholic, 12S = 12 step meeting, usually closed, C= closed to alcoholics only, BB = Big Book study, G = Gay, W = Woman. Some meetings use several letters like CBBM = closed big book mens meeting.
In your exploring case I'd try any of the above that fit your situation.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
welcome Pat.
What you describe of yourself was me 5 years ago at times. I could still drink with the best of them and did a lot of crazy stuff, but I was still a stop when I wanted to for a while. But it grew up on me without my even realizing it. Near the end I was drinking vodka straight from the bottle, with a can of beer chaser.
It sneaks up you and before you know it...
What you describe of yourself was me 5 years ago at times. I could still drink with the best of them and did a lot of crazy stuff, but I was still a stop when I wanted to for a while. But it grew up on me without my even realizing it. Near the end I was drinking vodka straight from the bottle, with a can of beer chaser.
It sneaks up you and before you know it...
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,637
I, too was in a similar situation to you, Pat.
I was on the slippery slope and couldn't get off.
Now I've stopped I'm living. It can be hard to not give in to the cravings and addictive voice egging you to have a drink BUT not as hard as all the hangovers, regrets, memory losses, embarrassments we had when drinking.
I hope you come aboard there is a lot of help and advice and assistance, I've found, and made many many friends, albeit online. Xx
I was on the slippery slope and couldn't get off.
Now I've stopped I'm living. It can be hard to not give in to the cravings and addictive voice egging you to have a drink BUT not as hard as all the hangovers, regrets, memory losses, embarrassments we had when drinking.
I hope you come aboard there is a lot of help and advice and assistance, I've found, and made many many friends, albeit online. Xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,850
Hi Pat and welcome to SR. You will find lots of company here; stick around; post often; there is always someone here.
That slippery slope you described sounds so familiar. The further down I travelled the longer it took to climb back up.
SR is a great place for information, support, encouragement and understanding; glad you joined us.
That slippery slope you described sounds so familiar. The further down I travelled the longer it took to climb back up.
SR is a great place for information, support, encouragement and understanding; glad you joined us.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 8
Thanks for all the replies and advice. It is very heartening that others have been through similar experiences, come out to a different place and are willing to share their experiences to help others.
I would like to try AA but am probably not ready for it yet. I think I need a few days of sobriety to grow some confidence first and to allow my body to recover some bit. My only goal today is to make it 10pm when the alcohol sales stop, but hey who is watching the clock
I would like to try AA but am probably not ready for it yet. I think I need a few days of sobriety to grow some confidence first and to allow my body to recover some bit. My only goal today is to make it 10pm when the alcohol sales stop, but hey who is watching the clock
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by Pat82
Thanks for all the replies and advice. It is very heartening that others have been through similar experiences, come out to a different place and are willing to share their experiences to help others.
I would like to try AA but am probably not ready for it yet. I think I need a few days of sobriety to grow some confidence first and to allow my body to recover some bit. My only goal today is to make it 10pm when the alcohol sales stop, but hey who is watching the clock
I would like to try AA but am probably not ready for it yet. I think I need a few days of sobriety to grow some confidence first and to allow my body to recover some bit. My only goal today is to make it 10pm when the alcohol sales stop, but hey who is watching the clock
I was just thinking what used to happen to me in your situation. I would strike a short period where I seemed to be open to getting help, usually not more than a few days long. At the start I would be feeling pretty low and frightened, as well as Ill from the hangover.
Some of that would fade over a couple of days and as I felt better, I began to doubt whether I needed any help after all. Then I would find myself thinking about drinking again. The memory of the humiliation of a few days ago just did not seem to come to mind with sufficient force to stop me picking up again. We call it the strange mental blank spot. Then the dreadful cycle would repeat.
I had a strong fear which prevented me from going to an AA meeting so I can relate to how you are feeling. But I eventually reached a point where it was get help or die.
I overcame the meeting fear by calling the AA phone line and arranging to meet with a recovered alcoholic for a few hours. They answered all my questions, told me how AA worked and generally reassured me. They even took me to my first few meetings and helped me find my way around.
Pat, it's entirely up to you whether you want to wait or not. But please bear in mind what I have written above. If you experience the fading memory thing, then you can be even more certain about what you will need to do next time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 8
Thanks for the advice Gottalife. That is what has happened me in the past too, I would quit for a few days and feel great, then re-lapse back into my old habits. There is an open meeting near me on Saturday, so my short term goal is to make it to then staying sober and go along to the meeting for more information.
24 hours nearly down anyway, although I still feel like I was drinking last night. Hopefully by Saturday my body can believe it will not be drowned in alcohol and recover a bit.
24 hours nearly down anyway, although I still feel like I was drinking last night. Hopefully by Saturday my body can believe it will not be drowned in alcohol and recover a bit.
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