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Hasn't everyone thought about suicide?

Old 05-03-2014, 06:10 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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OK more on this, I would not want to post about these things but it was brought up and still growing, so...

The paternal lineage of my family has seen a lot of mental illnesses. Depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, alcoholism... and many of us at various phases of what psychiatry nowadays describes as "spectrum disorders".

The life of one of my dad's sisters has always fascinated me. She has always been been mentioned as the tortured brilliant but mentally ill "genius" one sees in in the textbooks, in drama, in history. She was a journalist, a writer, a political activist. I never met her because she committed suicide relatively young (in her early 40's). My dad told me about her and showed me a bunch of her private writings when I was in my late 20's. For many weeks I could not focus on anything else but reading her old notes and diaries... I sort of thought like it was a weird joke by life: I felt like reading in my own head on and on and on. But it wasn't the first time, I felt that way several times reading other authors' works... it was just that she was in my family.

When I was 17, I met a wonderful guy, he was just wrapping up his grad studies at the time, I was starting university. A molecular biologist, like I wanted to be (and became later). He was the brilliant promise of his professional circles. Went abroad with great international fellowships later. Long story short, suicide at 34.

Just had an addict friend putting himself to the other side less than a month ago... I posted about it here.

I think I've been able to process these things well, and I am not someone who has problems seeing and accepting the transience of life... I also understand (and know, I think) the mindset that can lead people to those acts... just somehow thinking about these things today got to me, and I wanted to talk about it. I'm glad this topic came up and so many of us posted about it - transience or not, I think it's important to remember.
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Old 05-03-2014, 08:41 PM
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While I think it has run through everyone's mind to some extent, I don't think that the majority of people entertain that thought to the degree that people who are truly suicidal, depressed, and are genuinely plotting to end their lives do....
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Old 05-03-2014, 10:23 PM
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Lots of great posts on this topic. When I was drinking I was put on a 72 hour hold twice and I still think about it quite a bit. A lot more than I would like to admit to, but here I am. I am still really surprised that after a year it still is a part of my life, almost daily. I pray for the day it goes away, but I worry that it never will.
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Old 05-04-2014, 07:38 AM
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I've been suicidal at different times in my life before alcoholism, during alcoholism, and while in sobriety too. For me, suicide offered a permanent relief from what I at those times believed to be impossible consequences and responsibilities to endure while alive.

The last years of my active drinking were suicidal times such as those more then earlier times, or since quitting. Those times were very dark and alcoholic-minded. Tough times.

I speak for myself here, in saying suicidal ideations are not conceived from a place of strength or courage. There is nothing about such ideations that is acceptable as anything else but as garbage-in-garbage-out. It is for good reason that suicides are recognized as being played out from a place of human desperation and weakness. No one ever suicided from a place of strength and self-fulfillment. Suicide can never offer more than life offers, and so nothing about suicidal ideation is healthy as a response to life's challenges.

Looking back to those dark times, I'm grateful for the distinctions that make life remarkable and suicide unremarkable, in comparison as choices. I don't romanticize suicide as being somehow the last choice for those who suicide. I also don't believe suicides happen from a place of healthy awareness, or from a place of intelligence, or from a place of honor. Sure, fiction stories are aplenty nonetheless. Reality though speaks otherwise. Still though, some history is somewhat filled with such romantically persuaded suicides for some famous and historic personalities. How ironic.

When I seriously sought suicide as an ideal answer to my problems, I had to throw away many truths of my life experiences to be able to think on suicide. I had to trash myself something awful to get to the lowest levels of my reasoning to take my own life. I also had to trash the significance of the lives of others as well for me to de-valuate the importance of life in general. This trashing process brought me to ever darker and depraved levels of awareness. I became lost in my own selfishness and self-centeredness. Suicide offers lasting oblivion to self. Oblivion can't be reached without trashing in the process, so this of course requires a unique kind of insanity be at last reached to finally self-destruct.

I think blaming suicides for taking their own lives is wrong. I also think as a society we have responsibilities to those who suffer from suicidal ideations to help them heal from such pains in ways which absolutely promote a renewal of self-respect, sustainable self-fulfillment, and lasting honor. There is nothing rightful in the trashing of the past life of a suicide by attacking their character. Having said that, there is nothing useful to be realized by romanticizing that past life either as justifiably embracing suicide as a well made choice from within a challenged life.

I think most people never seriously consider suicide as an alternative to living life on life's terms. Most people get on with living and don't have time for dying until the very end of their lives. And even then, suicide is not ever wondered as a workable alternative.

Nothing about suicide is normal. Suicidal ideations are always the exception and suicide itself is always a sad and hard reality where no one ever does better for themselves.
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Old 05-04-2014, 08:33 AM
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I think about it at times, but I don't romanticize it. I actually think of it as backup/escape plan at times; it's a low voice that whispers to me when I'm low and life just seems too unbearable: "You know, you could always do this if it gets too much…"

I don't think I ever could but somehow there's a morbid reassurance in knowing that's an option.

Thanks for posting about this topic, Charliee. I've often wondered if I'm the only one with these sorts of thoughts.
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Old 05-04-2014, 08:36 AM
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Originally Posted by RevivingOphelia View Post
I think about it at times, but I don't romanticize it. I actually think of it as backup/escape plan at times; it's a low voice that whispers to me at times when I'm low and life just seems too unbearable: "You know, you could always do this if it gets too much…"
Yeah, the thought alone can be relieving somehow
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Old 05-04-2014, 08:40 AM
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I'm sometimes surprised that I haven't ever given it serious thought before.

-DrS
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Old 05-04-2014, 01:38 PM
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Yes not romanticizing it...
Not sure if this is allowed here, but one of my fave documentaries of all times is Terry Pratchett: Choosing to Die. Full film used to be on youtube, not sure now.
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Old 05-04-2014, 02:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Charliee View Post
I was just watching something on TV about someone considering suicide and everyone was astonished and upset and scared. My question is why were they were so surprised, hasn't everyone thought about suicide?
Hi Charliee. I'm not sure you are going to get a typical answer here. If you asked a randomly selected control group of at least.100 people you maynget a better idea. Remember many of us have already confessed to being pretty f, d up at some point in our lives.
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Old 05-04-2014, 02:44 PM
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of the typical population, short answer is "No." Most likely "never" at thought for them.
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Old 05-04-2014, 06:46 PM
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Originally Posted by sugarbear1 View Post
of the typical population, short answer is "No." Most likely "never" at thought for them.
You seem quite certain. How do you know?
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Old 05-04-2014, 06:50 PM
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I think people do think about it but don't actually follow through. Someone said it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know I have been depressed but I would never hurt myself because I have found that it does dissipate eventually.
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