cant stop
 

I can't stop drinking, I know I'm going into rehab May 22 but I feel like I can't stop until then. I know it will be a life of sobriety and right now I don't know how I'm going to handle that. I constantly numb all my emotions with booze, I get so anxious if I don't have access to alcohol. There's this guy who I am in love with who just wants to be friends, and it tears me up and is quite triggering. I know it's stupid to be hung up on some guy but I've always craved the affection of others, maybe that's why I drink I dunno. Kinda rambling now. I'm just feeling hopeless, and sad, I've hit bottom so many times but I never really do anything.

Hi, I'm sorry you feel like this right now, you are far from alone regarding your situation. Have you had any success with previous attempts to quit?
If you can even attempt to taper down before you go into rehab you may well make any physical effects a whole lot easier.

It's karma-thing

Each drink you will drink NOW, will cause anxiety, depression, money-problems, guilt, aches, etc. etc. LATER

Each drink you won't drink NOW, will cause relative peace, hapiness, increase in wealth, health etc. etc. LATER

I agree with stoogy but also understand that you probably feel like giving it hell before you go.

Be safe and don't let the guy issue become a permanent trigger. There are other great fish in the sea...

good luck rbotlove. I hope you don't think of it as one last fling before you quit. I know it's hard. But getting practice in now will help you later. Learn how to control yourself and find out what you triggers are. I would start working on lists today. The good, the bad and the ugly. Go to rehab prepared to succeed. Like doing your homework before you take the class. It should help you and encourage you to start working toward sobriety - you are doing this for you after all.

I remember feeling that same way and thinking how in the Hell I was going to live without alcohol in my life. But guess what? I'm still alive :) I understand how hard it is and I PROMISE you that it gets better! Be strong!!! Also, Please don't let that guy get to you...if he just wants to be friends, then screw him, he doesn't deserve you anyway!

Hi rbotlove :)

there's a lot of days and nights between now and may 22 - the potential for disaster on any one of those days growa the more days you drink.

I know you're in pain but why not use the support here?

Check out the Class of May support thread. Join it and make some friends?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2014-a-2.html

you can stay sober - if you want :)

D

I think you will find that ultimately you have to love yourself.

Many of us alcoholics don't do that and we seek love from outside of us. That doesn't work.

I hope you stop drinking now and please keep posting and let us know how you're doing.

I hope you can stop drinking before you go to rehab. :hug: