letsgowithJ

So, I'm writing this from a plane right now. (Airports/flights are historically a trigger)...

Going to my college (read: drinking and drugging) buddy's wedding...solo. It will obviously not be a dry wedding...even the weed will be sticky and moist...as its in the Portland area.

I'm resolved to stay strong, but any words of encouragement will help. I've volunteered to help shuttle people around and I'll be emceeing certain activities and moved my lodging to avoid the riff raff. SO far so good, like I said I've been flying for hours and I'm usually a good 4-5 airplane bottles deep by now, but I've got a long road ahead.

Tips and pointers are welcome too. I also just needed to type it out and look at it.

Anna

I hope that you get through it.

For what it's worth, I wouldn't have been able to do that in the early days of recovery. I tried once, and got through the evening (felt miserable) but the next morning, I was out searching for wine. I stayed away from people drinking alcohol for many months, about 10 months, actually.

SoulKat

Remember you're going to be driving people around... that's a good motivation to not drink or drug.

Best wishes... I hope you stay strong.

Croissant

Good on you for posting, Jake. Designated driver is a good plan.

Thought this thread may help. Note it starts 2 years ago. There is an update on what happened from the original poster today.

I hope it helps, mate.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...g-weekend.html

Ghostlight1

Remember how you felt the days after drinking. That's what has kept me sober for over three years. That, and coming here.
You're definitely in the danger zone. Driving is a great idea.
Just remember you can say 'No thanks' or 'I don't drink' without any further explanation. Took me a long time to realize that. It's none of anybody's business.

I wish you the best on your trip and hope you have a great time. And just think, you'll remember it.

ChickChick

Sending you good thoughts and prayers to get through the weekend. If I were you I would make sure to focus on not making any snap judgments, if you get the urge to drink take time to think about it first. You can do this!

Jsober

I went to wedding in early sobriety as well. I was very nervous for the same reasons. I was in the wedding and I was with the old drinking buddies. One tip that I found helpful was to always have a drink in my hand- soda, sparkling water. That kept me feeling ok, and people saw that I didn't need anything
When asked specifically if I wanted alcohol, I just said no thanks I gave that up. No big deal; it was a bigger deal in my head. You can just say no thanks, I have to drive. No one can argue with that. And if they do, oh well, you decide what you drink!
I made it through and had fun. You can do the same.

ScottFromWI

Keep SR handy on your phone if you have the ability, you can always sneak out of the main activities and re-ground yourself if you need help.

One thing I do at events like this when I go now is seek out or even merely observe the number of people that are NOT drinking. We assume "everyone" will be drinking at these types of events, and certainly a lot of people do. But if you look around you'll see that there are many who AREN"T drinking - and they are having just as good of a time as everyone else.

letsgowithJ

great comments guys. Thanks

Croissant

Agree. I had a tough time during the gap between the ceremony and the reception as everyone starting drinking immediately after the wedding I went to.

I was wavering, I even considered booking a hotel room so I could leave my car parked overnight and drink.

Sat in my car, got onto SR and told my monthly class group I was struggling. They were there for me. I went back in, got my courage up and just faced talking to people sober.

As people drank more, it got easier for me, I actually enjoyed the dance floor sober and had a great time.

Verte

I second the suggestion of having something in your hand (other than alcohol for sure).

At 2 weddings so far I have not had a drop of alcohol simply because I was sick-as-a-dog. Not wanting to talk about being sick-as-a-dog I held a tumbler with ice, soda, lemon and a cocktail straw. Refilled the soda often and kept it with me at the table.

Laughed and joked as often as possible. People always get drunk fast. Nobody noticed or cared.

To get around the 'festivities' I said that I had a HUGE deadline for a project, no way around it and had to get it done like my life depended on it. That it was SO important I felt lucky to even be a part of the wedding.

Your sobriety is SO important!!! You are SO important. The life you want and deserve depends on it.

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

You are doing this!!

LoftyIdeals

Think about the feeling you will have on the other side of this weekend after you've stayed sober. I foresee chest-pounding pride and joy for that scenario. And a lot of great plane conversation on the way home. This is one of those opportunities to cross the Rubicon successfully, and to build on your sobriety like no other time. I envy you that opportunity to lift yourself up by dodging all the bullets this weekend.

Dee74

I agree with Anna. I really thing you need to nuture your recovery in the early days and make some hard decisions.

But...seeing as you're committed...

there are some good tips here:
Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide

ignore the title - the tips are good for any social occasion.

I'd stay away from the sticky buds too - anything that lowers your inhibitions or impairs your judgement is not a good idea this weekend.

letsgowithJ

For anyone curious I made it through the two days. As long as i dont start in on the bloody marys tomorrow i think i will make it. Many of the comments here were helpful for that. It was hard but only for a moments.

Verte

Ok that's huge! Great news. You did it!

Tomorrow for breakfast: enjoy a super-spicy Virgin Mary loaded with a vegetable garden garnish...that'll release some endorphins for ya Glass of water chaser.

So did you cut-a-rug? Any good musings to report?

anykey

That is encouraging.

Raider

Great!

Croissant

That's fantastic news! I'm glad it didn't turn out like it did in the link I posted.

letsgowithJ

Yeah, the rug was cut, for sure, had a great time. I'm not going to lie, it would have been a different kind of great time had I been drinking...but only equal, probably less than, and certainly not more.

I was still social, life of the party, and the awesome thing...I don't sit here ashamed about ANYTHING. A couple drunk girls invited me to "party" in their hotel rooms...I'm usually the type of drunk that would still say no (married)...but that would have been a dangerous situation. I didn't say anything stupid, dance with someone I shouldn't have, and no hangover. I was able to be very helpful and glad I could be a part of the wedding in that way. I really don't have anything risky scheduled for the foreseeable future, so I'm feeling pretty confident.

Thanks all.

J