"Thank You" Isn't Enough
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 31
"Thank You" Isn't Enough
First and foremost I would like to offer my sincere thanks to all those who participate in this forum. Last week, after a desperate Google search, I began reading about the experiences of many of you – successes, failures, struggles, and the unending support you show each other – and I knew that I had to make a decision.
I had long ago admitted to myself I had a drinking problem. It was the solution that eluded me. I thought I could return to drinking in moderation (although I realistically haven’t done that since the 90s), or at least be a “functional” alcoholic. But, and I am sure many of you can relate, it gradually got worse.
These last two years I have drank nearly a fifth of vodka every day (Scotch became too expensive after I retired) beginning around 4:00PM and ending when sleep took me.
There was no single event that triggered this attempt at recovery – no DUIs, divorce, violence, or anything like that – it is merely quality of life. I am sick of the guilt and shame, and I want to feel better, live better, and live longer.
So this morning, as I begin my fourth day of sobriety some 20 feet from a fully stocked liquor cabinet, I want to also thank you in advance for being there for me. It is my sincere hope that I can return the favor someday.
I had long ago admitted to myself I had a drinking problem. It was the solution that eluded me. I thought I could return to drinking in moderation (although I realistically haven’t done that since the 90s), or at least be a “functional” alcoholic. But, and I am sure many of you can relate, it gradually got worse.
These last two years I have drank nearly a fifth of vodka every day (Scotch became too expensive after I retired) beginning around 4:00PM and ending when sleep took me.
There was no single event that triggered this attempt at recovery – no DUIs, divorce, violence, or anything like that – it is merely quality of life. I am sick of the guilt and shame, and I want to feel better, live better, and live longer.
So this morning, as I begin my fourth day of sobriety some 20 feet from a fully stocked liquor cabinet, I want to also thank you in advance for being there for me. It is my sincere hope that I can return the favor someday.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Welcome Reboot, Thank you for sharing that bit of yourself. You will find plenty of support and encouragement from the members here. Have you considered unloading your inventory yet? I think it would be a good idea. 20 feet can feel like 20 miles. But it can also feel like 20 cm, right on your shoulder begging and nagging at you. Clear out that temptation, it is beckoning you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 31
I realized that having a stocked liquor cabinet in our home would raise eyebrows. My wife is a casual drinker, and all of our friends and family drink to varying degrees.
One of my objectives was to quit drinking with as little impact as possible to those around me. I am aware that this may reduce my odds of success but my thinking is that I will always be exposed to it anyway, so I might as well become used to it.
Yes, I could be back here tomorrow or next week with an empty liquor cabinet and starting day one again, but being new to recovery I wanted to try it this way first.
One of my objectives was to quit drinking with as little impact as possible to those around me. I am aware that this may reduce my odds of success but my thinking is that I will always be exposed to it anyway, so I might as well become used to it.
Yes, I could be back here tomorrow or next week with an empty liquor cabinet and starting day one again, but being new to recovery I wanted to try it this way first.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Reboot.
Welcome to SR!
Congrats on choosing sobriety, and on choosing to do it now, not waiting for perfect conditions. Though I agree that "dry house" is better. Maybe, you can discuss it with your wife and find some way that would be fine for both of you.
Keep posting and best wishes to you on your sobriety journey.
Welcome to SR!
Congrats on choosing sobriety, and on choosing to do it now, not waiting for perfect conditions. Though I agree that "dry house" is better. Maybe, you can discuss it with your wife and find some way that would be fine for both of you.
Keep posting and best wishes to you on your sobriety journey.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Welcome Reboot. Kicking this dis ease into recovery mode for many of us is a start into a great way of life instead of a getting by mode and far worse. I unfortunately needed too many reboots until I got honest with myself about my drinking and at the same time left out the word "but." I've been around a long time and have seen too much true damages as a result of too many doing it "my way."
When I finally plugged the jug there was no internet and I luckily chose the fellowship I did for my recovery. As the expression goes "it works IF we work it." Whatever is chosen the bottom line is we don't drink one day at a time to be sober.
BE WELL
When I finally plugged the jug there was no internet and I luckily chose the fellowship I did for my recovery. As the expression goes "it works IF we work it." Whatever is chosen the bottom line is we don't drink one day at a time to be sober.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Yes, I fully understand your desire to remain pleasing to those around you. Your body, physiological and psychological, does not care about anyone else at the moment. Regardless of your will and desire, there are overriding factors at the present moment.
Going from a fifth a night to nothing is hard. It's like a car traveling at 60 mph hitting a brick wall. I know it's a stretch to compare it.
Are you experiencing any kind of withdrawal symptoms? When was your last doctor visit? Did you talk to your doctor and tell him how much you drank and that you are going cold turkey to quit? I highly recommend you discuss this with a doctor.
Regardless of how you feel about being hospitable to friends and family, having that much alcohol in close proximity is very dangerous to someone new to sobriety. Obviously I don't know your thought process or situation, but I would be concerned until you have a solid structure of sobriety before being exposed to that much alcohol. Just my opinion of course. I'm just another drunk who quit recently.
Going from a fifth a night to nothing is hard. It's like a car traveling at 60 mph hitting a brick wall. I know it's a stretch to compare it.
Are you experiencing any kind of withdrawal symptoms? When was your last doctor visit? Did you talk to your doctor and tell him how much you drank and that you are going cold turkey to quit? I highly recommend you discuss this with a doctor.
Regardless of how you feel about being hospitable to friends and family, having that much alcohol in close proximity is very dangerous to someone new to sobriety. Obviously I don't know your thought process or situation, but I would be concerned until you have a solid structure of sobriety before being exposed to that much alcohol. Just my opinion of course. I'm just another drunk who quit recently.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 31
Originally Posted by IOAA2 
When I finally plugged the jug there was no internet and I luckily chose the fellowship I did for my recovery. As the expression goes "it works IF we work it."
BE WELL
BE WELL
Guess I'd better start a blog here.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 31
Originally Posted by LBrain
Are you experiencing any kind of withdrawal symptoms? When was your last doctor visit? Did you talk to your doctor and tell him how much you drank and that you are going cold turkey to quit? I highly recommend you discuss this with a doctor.
As for withdrawals, the first two days were pretty miserable. Yesterday was much better - no DTs that I could detect, no headache, appetite returned, and after eating, I had enough energy to go out and work in the yard.
Today I am still not functioning at 100% as I can tell I'm still in detox mode. But it's a heck of a lot better than any time in the previous year. Probably because I actually got a good night's sleep.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Welcome to SR, Reboot. I found this place 8 months ago, in much the same situation as you. And I haven't had a drink since the day I signed on at SR. This place has been a godsend to me.
I have kept a stocked liquor cabinet throughout my first 8 months of sobriety - partly because I haven't really publicized to people that I have quit drinking - partly because I want to be able to offer a drink to guests to my home - and partly because I am too lazy to relocate the bottles. I realize it is a risk. And I have certainly been tempted. But, so far, it hasn't been a major issue. Part of me enjoys knowing that the bottles of liquor are just sitting there, hopefully spoiling (does vodka spoil?). Anyway, if it is a major temptation, throw it out. It would be a shame to have to start this journey over. You are off to a great start.
Anyway, I am glad you are here with us. Welcome to the SR family.
I have kept a stocked liquor cabinet throughout my first 8 months of sobriety - partly because I haven't really publicized to people that I have quit drinking - partly because I want to be able to offer a drink to guests to my home - and partly because I am too lazy to relocate the bottles. I realize it is a risk. And I have certainly been tempted. But, so far, it hasn't been a major issue. Part of me enjoys knowing that the bottles of liquor are just sitting there, hopefully spoiling (does vodka spoil?). Anyway, if it is a major temptation, throw it out. It would be a shame to have to start this journey over. You are off to a great start.
Anyway, I am glad you are here with us. Welcome to the SR family.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 31
Originally Posted by firstymer
I have kept a stocked liquor cabinet throughout my first 8 months of sobriety - partly because I haven't really publicized to people that I have quit drinking - partly because I want to be able to offer a drink to guests to my home...
Those who know me well will see right through the ruse. Those on this forum who have experience in recovery are probably hearing alarm bells about now.
But as of this moment I have three days of sobriety under my belt and remain motivated and optimistic.
☀️⛳️
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,506
Originally Posted by Reboot
First and foremost I would like to offer my sincere thanks to all those who participate in this forum. Last week, after a desperate Google search, I began reading about the experiences of many of you – successes, failures, struggles, and the unending support you show each other – and I knew that I had to make a decision.
I had long ago admitted to myself I had a drinking problem. It was the solution that eluded me. I thought I could return to drinking in moderation (although I realistically haven’t done that since the 90s), or at least be a “functional” alcoholic. But, and I am sure many of you can relate, it gradually got worse.
These last two years I have drank nearly a fifth of vodka every day (Scotch became too expensive after I retired) beginning around 4:00PM and ending when sleep took me.
There was no single event that triggered this attempt at recovery – no DUIs, divorce, violence, or anything like that – it is merely quality of life. I am sick of the guilt and shame, and I want to feel better, live better, and live longer.
So this morning, as I begin my fourth day of sobriety some 20 feet from a fully stocked liquor cabinet, I want to also thank you in advance for being there for me. It is my sincere hope that I can return the favor someday.
I had long ago admitted to myself I had a drinking problem. It was the solution that eluded me. I thought I could return to drinking in moderation (although I realistically haven’t done that since the 90s), or at least be a “functional” alcoholic. But, and I am sure many of you can relate, it gradually got worse.
These last two years I have drank nearly a fifth of vodka every day (Scotch became too expensive after I retired) beginning around 4:00PM and ending when sleep took me.
There was no single event that triggered this attempt at recovery – no DUIs, divorce, violence, or anything like that – it is merely quality of life. I am sick of the guilt and shame, and I want to feel better, live better, and live longer.
So this morning, as I begin my fourth day of sobriety some 20 feet from a fully stocked liquor cabinet, I want to also thank you in advance for being there for me. It is my sincere hope that I can return the favor someday.
Hi Reboot,
Hi, and many thanks for sharing your story. This site is indeed a great source of support and advice from more great people than I could mention in this short post. We have all had rough journeys to various degrees in order to finally arrive here but all our stories when shared with each other only sharpen our sobriety teeth in order to finally slay this beast, I cannot personally offer any greater advice than getting rid of your stock of alcohol, it is all too tempting in the early days and will only play with you to some degree.
I truly wish you well and look forward to reading more of your posts.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Welcome to the family. 
I'm glad you found us and joined the family. You'll find lots of support here. I'm also glad you decided to stop drinking. Best decision you'll ever make.
I'm glad you found us and joined the family. You'll find lots of support here. I'm also glad you decided to stop drinking. Best decision you'll ever make. 
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Welcome to SR reboot. I keep a dry house (I m single and live alone) and I would suggest that you talk to your wife and see if she would be ok with it while you are in early sobriety (why make things more difficult for yourself?).
Unless she is sick and tired of you and won't believe you anymore, I don't see why she would not be supportive (at least for a while) while you get more grounded in sobriety.
Congratulations on day 4
Unless she is sick and tired of you and won't believe you anymore, I don't see why she would not be supportive (at least for a while) while you get more grounded in sobriety.
Congratulations on day 4
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 31
Originally Posted by Carlotta
Welcome to SR reboot. I keep a dry house (I m single and live alone) and I would suggest that you talk to your wife and see if she would be ok with it while you are in early sobriety (why make things more difficult for yourself?).
Unless she is sick and tired of you and won't believe you anymore, I don't see why she would not be supportive (at least for a while) while you get more grounded in sobriety.
Congratulations on day 4
Unless she is sick and tired of you and won't believe you anymore, I don't see why she would not be supportive (at least for a while) while you get more grounded in sobriety.
Congratulations on day 4
When I told my wife on Sunday, "I'm done," (first time ever) she offered just that. I declined.
Perhaps I'm being naive. Time will tell. In the meantime all options remain on the table.
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