49 (days not years of being on Earth)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Mar Vista,CA
Posts: 3
49 (days not years of being on Earth)
So my story is simple. I drank. I drank ALOT! I had no intention on stopping cause I knew that I was not a quitter. I may have failed at everything else, but not being a good 'ole drunk. No way I was going to say I had a fatal disease. (admitting that would mean I would have to die at some point from my only successful venture in life) But I was wrong, being a quitter afforded me life and many other prizes. (also, just like a Gold medalist at the Olympics, I even got a Sponser!)
My story begins many years ago. But let's stay current. (not just for times sake and staying in the Now, but because I have a broken arm with rods sticking out of it and typing is difficult)
So on the 9th of March after a particularly good day, I broke my wrist (I found out I got a job at a real great restaurant CELEBRATION!) anyway, when I was released from the hospital ETOH (which means kept in the ER until I sobered up), I was homeless (again) jobless( chefs cant cook so well with one arm) and desperate (crying uncontrolably walking down Wilshire Blvd towards the beach in Santa Monica).
I wasn't sure about what happened the night before, but I doubt I cared, all I knew was I couldn't take this anymore. The feeling of nothing mattered, the feeling of loneliness and feeling of being broke with no booze and DTs. I prayed over and over a desperate prayer"God please help, Godplease help me, I don't want to feel this way anymore."
Well that was the 10 of March, and I have been sober everyday since. God licked my wounds with me, got me a home, a great Dr. To fix my arm (you haven't lived if you havent had surgery in early recovery for your dominant arm. Fun fact: people type with their left hand 57 percent of the time.) I feel that feeling of awakening that the Big Book talks about. It has been full of great feelings( great anger, great fear, great joy ,great well you get the idea.)
Great events have come to pass for me. The promises have been fulfilled at a greater pace than I ever dreamed. And the gifts from life in so short a time has amazed and given me a better perspective on life.
I suffer from a disease that kills me, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. But it will kill me if I don't work a Program and the 12 Steps. Promises are so real I feel like I won some spiritual lottery.
I'll keep you posted and expound on my story more as I am able to type more( when these rods come off.) But until then, may the Spirit be with you all until then!
My story begins many years ago. But let's stay current. (not just for times sake and staying in the Now, but because I have a broken arm with rods sticking out of it and typing is difficult)
So on the 9th of March after a particularly good day, I broke my wrist (I found out I got a job at a real great restaurant CELEBRATION!) anyway, when I was released from the hospital ETOH (which means kept in the ER until I sobered up), I was homeless (again) jobless( chefs cant cook so well with one arm) and desperate (crying uncontrolably walking down Wilshire Blvd towards the beach in Santa Monica).
I wasn't sure about what happened the night before, but I doubt I cared, all I knew was I couldn't take this anymore. The feeling of nothing mattered, the feeling of loneliness and feeling of being broke with no booze and DTs. I prayed over and over a desperate prayer"God please help, Godplease help me, I don't want to feel this way anymore."
Well that was the 10 of March, and I have been sober everyday since. God licked my wounds with me, got me a home, a great Dr. To fix my arm (you haven't lived if you havent had surgery in early recovery for your dominant arm. Fun fact: people type with their left hand 57 percent of the time.) I feel that feeling of awakening that the Big Book talks about. It has been full of great feelings( great anger, great fear, great joy ,great well you get the idea.)
Great events have come to pass for me. The promises have been fulfilled at a greater pace than I ever dreamed. And the gifts from life in so short a time has amazed and given me a better perspective on life.
I suffer from a disease that kills me, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. But it will kill me if I don't work a Program and the 12 Steps. Promises are so real I feel like I won some spiritual lottery.
I'll keep you posted and expound on my story more as I am able to type more( when these rods come off.) But until then, may the Spirit be with you all until then!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Welcome Sarah! 
I'm so glad you found us.
Well done on reaching 49 days sober. We know how hard you worked to get there. I did a similar thing the last time I went on a bender - cried out for help - and that's the day I found SR. This place has meant the world to me because I no longer feel alone. We're all in this together - and we're happy you're here.
I'm so glad you found us.Well done on reaching 49 days sober. We know how hard you worked to get there. I did a similar thing the last time I went on a bender - cried out for help - and that's the day I found SR. This place has meant the world to me because I no longer feel alone. We're all in this together - and we're happy you're here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Mar Vista,CA
Posts: 3
50!
So this post is being done with BOTH hands typing! The arm in recovery has healed to the point they took off my exo-rods yesterday! My healing time was 2 weeks earlier than they thought! I am so moved right now.
Yesterday I woke up frustrated by the day ahead. Sitting in the morning meeting I could only focus on the wall clock (gotta sit where I can't see that sucker). The only think I got from it was I need to work on my humility,that and there was at least one person other me not paying attention. (after hearing a few people sharing on the subject he raised his hand and said,"how can so many of you share so many different ways on a topic that is so simple! Everyone knows it has something to do with moisture in the air!")
I knew I would have to spend the day in the hospital. (Harbor UCLA sux at getting to you in the time your appt was scheduled, practice patience!) And I was just frustrated with everything. I am gaining weight, myface was particularly annoying, and my boyfriend just finished his sixth step(further pointing out his defects to me in the light of morning). So needless to say, I was real good company.
After a short wait and x-ray I was called in around 1130 for a 1030 appt. (WoW!) and they removed the stitches then went to consult the surgeon about when to come back for the removal of my "wifi gear"(exo-rods look like two sideways rabbit ear antennas secured by bright orange thingamadochies which people tend to gravitate to bumping into.) So I prayed for patience and the x-rays to be goodnews, like they would come off in a few days to a week. (I am very specific with God cause my humility is still a baby)
Well they come in with all these tools(a wrench and some other tools that look like more torture devices dreamed up by some psycho)So I assumed they would be tightening them, I got real upset and started to cry. I knew it, I had screwed up my arm more! Well...
These torture devices were made to remove the devices torturing my by being screwed into my bone and causing interference with radio signals in the car. I smiled the whole time they were removing them! The PA was like, "I can't believe you didn't complain more, you were woozy getting the stitches out and that hurts less! You in fact looked peaceful!" I replied "I don't complain when God answers prayers especially when He does it so fast!"
Well y'all, time for my morning meeting, gotta go, but not for long.
Be Blessed, Be Well, Be Sober!
Yesterday I woke up frustrated by the day ahead. Sitting in the morning meeting I could only focus on the wall clock (gotta sit where I can't see that sucker). The only think I got from it was I need to work on my humility,that and there was at least one person other me not paying attention. (after hearing a few people sharing on the subject he raised his hand and said,"how can so many of you share so many different ways on a topic that is so simple! Everyone knows it has something to do with moisture in the air!")
I knew I would have to spend the day in the hospital. (Harbor UCLA sux at getting to you in the time your appt was scheduled, practice patience!) And I was just frustrated with everything. I am gaining weight, myface was particularly annoying, and my boyfriend just finished his sixth step(further pointing out his defects to me in the light of morning). So needless to say, I was real good company.
After a short wait and x-ray I was called in around 1130 for a 1030 appt. (WoW!) and they removed the stitches then went to consult the surgeon about when to come back for the removal of my "wifi gear"(exo-rods look like two sideways rabbit ear antennas secured by bright orange thingamadochies which people tend to gravitate to bumping into.) So I prayed for patience and the x-rays to be goodnews, like they would come off in a few days to a week. (I am very specific with God cause my humility is still a baby)
Well they come in with all these tools(a wrench and some other tools that look like more torture devices dreamed up by some psycho)So I assumed they would be tightening them, I got real upset and started to cry. I knew it, I had screwed up my arm more! Well...
These torture devices were made to remove the devices torturing my by being screwed into my bone and causing interference with radio signals in the car. I smiled the whole time they were removing them! The PA was like, "I can't believe you didn't complain more, you were woozy getting the stitches out and that hurts less! You in fact looked peaceful!" I replied "I don't complain when God answers prayers especially when He does it so fast!"
Well y'all, time for my morning meeting, gotta go, but not for long.
Be Blessed, Be Well, Be Sober!
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