Thirdtime

So, after my slip three days ago, I am back to the plan. AA meetings, daily prayer and meditation, and just being in the NOW instead of tomorrow. I have to do this for me and no one else. I felt awful about the slip a few days ago, but am moving forward.

Today? I was invited to a BBQ at my wife's family today. I posted on another thread that we have been separated for a couple of weeks....things seem to be turning around some on that front. This will be a good opportunity to spend some time together.

Anyway, It will be sunny, there will be plenty of alcohol served and....you get the idea. The AV will be on my shoulder. So, here is my plan for the BBQ to not drink ....

-AA meeting this morning

- I have phone numbers in the group I attend and will use if the urge is too strong to drink

- Taking my own NA beverage. Club soda probably

- If things get too crazy with everyone there, I will politely excuse myself and leave.

- Stay in the moment and keep playing the tape forward.

Sound solid? Any other suggestions?

Oh, also post and check in at SR!!!!!!!

Weasel1966

Sounds like a great plan third time. Welcome to SR! Keep posting!

Ken

Upward2Enlightenment

I hope you have a great time and your plan sounds good. Good luck with the family, they may want to see how you are doing and when you show them you are changing it my start down the road to you and your wife reconciling. Just follow your plan, remember keep yourself first.

Ghostlight1

Sounds like a solid plan to me. If you get tempted, we're here.
Don't listen to that voice. Drunk people are just unhappy people having fun. No need for you to partake in that.
Wishing you the best, and have fun!

Thirdtime

Thanks all. All great suggestions. Follow plan and put myself and sobriety first. For so long I was a people pleaser, and it is weird to put myself first. This is actually a big part of why I have resentments and drank, I am realizing.

AA this morning. CHECK. Step study. Step 5, but did a review of the first 4 steps. Good speaker and info shared.

Doing something healthy. CHECK. Went for a run to get some exercise.

Will head over in a bit AFTER picking up a NA beverage.

SR is great. Thanks to all.

doggonecarl

The plan seems solid, especially the leaving if things get rough. If it was me, the situation would likely make me uncomfortable, which always drove me to the bottle, so I would have skipped the invite. But that's me and how I would have reacted, not you, so good luck.

Compass7

Take a lot of the club soda to keep one in your hand. Look at that alcohol like a nasty hangover in a can, full of sickness, anxiety and regret. Good luck today and thank you for sharing your strategies!

heath480

I hope it goes well.Difficult to turn down the invite when you want to see your wife.

Please stay vigilant,leave if you feel at all uneasy.

Look forward to hearing how it went later,let us know.

Applekat

Play the tape all the way forward. Something I keep in mind now when tempted. A drink won't make anything better at all, especially a tough or awkward situation.

I just picked up cranberry and tonic to keep on hand. Good luck!! Check back in!

ChickChick

I like that ghostlight!!

Thirdtime

Well, I drank a six pack.....of seltzer water.

Made it through with no alcohol, even though it was all around, readily available, and a perfect combination of triggers that usually lead to a binge (sunshine, warm weather, BBQ, patio, etc).

I felt an unexpected sense of peace when I first got there. A sudden calm that came over me and a sense that I was going to enjoy this day sober. I let the day come to me. I put no pressure on myself. I relaxed. I had six seltzer waters over six hours. No alcohol. It was nice to spend time with my wife. We had a very good day.

As the day wore on, the usual suspects I used to drink with at these things were getting pretty sloshed. Beer after beer. It was very enlightening to talk with them, hear the slurring words, the loud voices, etc. One of the couples had been drinking a lot and got into an ugly fight, probably fueled by the booze. That was me. This would have been me if I would have picked up that first drink today.

The only buzz I have is from a good day sober, outside, and relaxed....without alcohol. Usually I would be six sheets by now and kicking myself the next day. Tomorrow morning, my mind will be clear and I will not be hungover. Damn. That feels nice.

I could not wait to get back and post this to the SR crew. Having a plan is key and it paid off for me today.

ChickChick

Your first sentence made my heart drop for a second!! Great job though!!

Applekat

Nice job!!!!! You will have a well-deserved and enjoyable, hangover-free, Monday morning!!

AlcoholFree66

A daily plan is really important for me too Thirdtime.

deeker

ThirdTime that is so freaking awesome! The plan, the surrender, the seeing life from the other side. So awesome!

Gotta have a daily plan, not just for barbecues! Really happy 4 u!

airwick

Applekat: What tape are you talking about, maybe it could help me if I start feeling weak......just a thought Thanks

Upward2Enlightenment

That's great Third, keep making plans. Also over time your wife will see that you are serious about being sober. I bet she was impressed with you today even if she didn't show it or say it.

Keep it up.

airwick

Deek; For some reason, just reading your response brought a smile to my face. Don't know exactly why, but it did

airwick

The above message was directed to Deeker

Applekat

Airwick - Playing the tape forward....remembering what will most likely end up happening if you chose to take that first drink. For most of us, it wouldn't be just one...and the usual sloppiness, and hangover, etc would ensue. It makes me stop and think and remember and make the smartest choice. Ie. no drink at all.

Check this older thread out. Love it.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ying-tape.html