Laura567

Just one glass of wine in the sun. Surely I deserved it after excersice and fun with the kids.
I feel like an idiot, how many times does it take? Here we go AGAIN, Day 1.

StormiNormi

Laura, put that hammer down. Don't quit quitting. You can do this!

Hooped

Yeah it seems so nice at the time doesn't it?
I'm really in no position to give you any advice
just want to say...I hear yah...

Laura567

I was contemplating not to write anything here...but that would hardly help. Honesty seems a better path.

Hooped

yup

Laura567

Hopped, how are you doing, read that you were strugging the other night.

Hooped

glass of wine is lovely....for a normal person
so i have no idea....i suppose this means we are abnormal?
if you can put it down....put it down

Hooped

your thread laura....im not about to go mental...but yeah

forabetterlife

Laura, I know how you feel. "Deserving" it is a big excuse for me to drink. I abstained for about a week a month ago to prepare to run/walk a 5k for my first time. I did it, I felt so proud of myself, and guess what I did that night as a reward? Next time...remind yourself that it is a lie, you aren't deserving of anything that ultimately makes you feel badly physically and mentally.
And good for you for posting. I often stay away from SR when I slip, and it usually just makes the slip even longer. There is so much support and understanding here

Holli

Hang in there, Laura you still have all,of your sober days with you, too.

Thirdtime

Hang in there Laura. I did the same thing three days ago. Felt like crap bith physically and mentally. A new day today. We can do this!!!!

Upward2Enlightenment

Laura we are here too try and help you, not judge you. I know I have NO right to judge anyone. Just keep trying and learn from your mistakes.

Stoogy

Just keep on keepin' on Laura567, it's not easy but you can do this, don't beat yourself up though, just learn from your slip and move on.
All the best.

soberclover

I found that it was really key for me to be able to find other ways to "reward" myself other than with a drink of wine. While I'm still in the stage where I have to "acquire" something as a reward at least it is small....such as a book, or a new project I can work on, a bouquet of flowers...etc. The old habits have to be replaced with something other than alcohol. Realistically.....alcohol isn't a reward....it is a punishment if you think about it.

abcowboy

Hi Laura, being honest is a good thing, being honest to yourself is even more important.... that was the part I found so difficult. I knew I was an alcoholic, admitted it to myself and others, what I couldn't admit is that no matter how hard I try, I can never be a "normal social drinker" Even when I thought I had convinced myself that I could never drink again, went almost 2 full months sober, I lied to myself into believing I could have just one or two nice cold beer. We all know where that leads..... it was just one night, 8 beer and half a bottle of JD later.... that "one night" was almost 4 months ago and I now am totally honest with myself, I am, and always will be just one drink away from becoming a drunk again..... Being completely honest with myself is what I needed to really seek help and support to overcome this crazy addiction......

Laura567

Thanks all, it is really difficult to come to terms with that one drink will always make me drink more. I find it hard to accept, deep down I know it is true but I fool myself over and over that I can handle it.

Leshar

Soberclover, nicely said:

Laura, good luck, please keep posting.

doggonecarl

Until you completely take drinking off the table, it can happen a lot more times. If you can talk yourself into "one" drink, you can talk yourself out of it. It part of the commitment to sobriety....not drinking. Ever.

HeadLump

I just think about how much harder it would be to talk myself out of the second glass - that's when I realise that refusing the first is relatively easy

Kudos to you for coming straight back on here, Laura, and telling us all about it - that takes guts and determination

Stoogy

100% agree! the first one has almost zero pulling power at all these days! but if I was foolish enough to take it then? Not worth thinking about really.