ontherightpath

Gave in and had some cocktails with some friends last night. Stupid. I know.

I feel like crap today. Total crap.

I don't want to forget this feeling. But I want it to go away right now!

I hope I can get this right, one of these days.

Dee74

Hi ontherightpath

Beating yourself up is pointless. It doesn't change anything. What's done is done.

I think it's better to look at what you've been doing for recovery...then accept it's not enough.

What more can you add? what more can you do?

D

PurpleKnight

Don't be stressing, chin up and go at it again!!

Keep in mind that feeling, stay Sober today and go from there!!

least

CarolD used to say that you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. Then you will achieve sobriety.

Ghostlight1

Yes, remember how you feel now and realize you never have to feel this way again.Just don't take that first drink.
It took me a long time to become an alcoholic, and it took me a long time to un-learn the behaviors that got me there. So don't beat up on yourself too much. Learn a lesson from this and move forward,
Best to you.

Laura567

I am with you. One of these days I will get it too..Hang in there!

Marcher13

ontherightpath, do what one of my March 2013 classmates did, print out your post and put a copy in your wallet, on your mirror, anywhere to remind you.

ontherightpath

Thanks for the replies. I am feeling better today. I watched the anonymous people last night, about bringing light to the world about substance abuse. Kept my mind occupied.

This is the conclusion I can draw from taking a logical look at my history. I get in the recovery frame of mind and then one day, idk if it's strength, lack of, or just a sheer I don't care, I pick up and drink. Wanting that recovery to sit patiently waiting for me, and allow me to pick it up the next morning. I know recovery is here, it's all around me. I just don't understand why I think I can take a night off every couple of weeks.

The darkest hours of a hangover are the ones that I can't be honest with my husband about. The anxiety, the tension, the fear that my body is going to give up on me.

So, tis the start of day 2, again!

Tamerua

Glad you're feeling better OTRP! I had to change all of my surroundings when I got sober and that included friends. I didn't make an announcement, but I took time off for a while and it made it easier to get sober without invites for happy hour. Maybe that would help?

Upward2Enlightenment

Like Tamerua said maybe take a break from your friends, if they ask why you are not around be honest with them. If they are real friends they will understand and maybe try and support you. Later when you are stronger you can hang out again. Just remember to put you first.

happycampers

sometimes, we create pressure within ourselves because the people around us are used to us being a certain way and when we are different from that (ie. now, not drinking/drugging), we feel bad/not right on some level for making others uncomfortable and then we create an internal pressure to go back to what others are used to so everyone can be comfortable again. That's why it is sometimes better to become stronger in our soberity first before joining the inevitable pressure that may arise between others and our new selves. Becoming stronger is enough to work on without adding more pressure from the next steps/lessons. One step at a time.

Stoogy

No point dwelling on it, it may have been foolish but at least it's over now. Just learn from it and you will be better placed next time.

yeahgr8

Well done for coming back. I was talking about this in a meeting last night, it is a case of having no mental defence when the obsession arises. It usually happens as you have experienced with people maybe lasting days/weeks/months/few years between drinks then picking up again. However that part is not relevant, what is relevant is that you look back on the time you had without a drink and accept that your way didn't work so try something different this time. Do the work and you don't have to drink again.

RevivingOphelia

You can get back on the right path.

I'm curious: How many drinks did you have to where you felt like "crap" the next day. I always wonder about that sort of thing. Maybe I shouldn't, but I do.

freshstart57

It is not easy. This is a hard thing to do, but you must decide that you can do hard. You can remember all the hard things that you have achieved before, and decide that this will be one of them. You must make that plan about continuing to use alcohol. Are you ready to make that plan?

LadyBlue0527

Do you see how your AV is still planning though? I'm speaking to this: " I hope I can get this right, one of these days". It puts off commitment.

In order to be successful there's no "hoping" only doing. "One of these days" denotes that there's possibility that you might have to endure this again. It's right up there with "One of these days I'm going to quit drinking for good". That's a tentative statement, totally non definitive.

Try "I never want to feel this way again, this time I'm going to get it right! NOW is the time, unconditionally".

It helps to start speaking to yourself like a person who doesn't drink. Not a person who wants to quit drinking. You'll be surprised how that positive reinforcement helps.

Tentative statements leave the door open for possibilities. Slam them shut.

You CAN do this! You don't ever have to feel this way again.

ontherightpath

I had 3 glasses of wine. I realize the terminology ladyinblue, I just hadn't said it that way before I guess. I am starting day 3. I'm a non drinker. I quit because I am allergic. When I drink I'm break out in bad things. And the outcome is always unknown. I may be an alcoholic, but I am also a person who is in long term recovery.

LadyBlue0527

That's good to hear, sincerely, silence that AV

Another great thing that I do is when those times come calling say out loud to yourself "I've got this!"

It's a good feeling when you hear yourself say the words