Addicted to Klonopin and Alcohol
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 156
That is very interesting that your panic ceased after quitting benzos. My panic began after a traumatic event (3/11 Earthquake, lived in Tokyo at the time) and I never considered the fact that benzos might be contributing to my panic rather than alleviating it. They just feel SO GOOD.
Tolerance and dose escalation is a constant problem, however.
Good to hear that some shrinks will write scripts for benzos even for patients with a history of alcohol abuse. Seems like the exception, however.
The point is--I'm going to try to cut down on my alcohol use and leave the benzo dosage stable, and see where that leads me. From all the accounts I've heard, stopping the alcohol SHOULD decrease day and evening anxiety. It may briefly cause my sleep to be fragmented, which will be difficult to endure. But I will experiment with cutting out the alcohol. Say, for one month...
Tolerance and dose escalation is a constant problem, however.
Good to hear that some shrinks will write scripts for benzos even for patients with a history of alcohol abuse. Seems like the exception, however.
The point is--I'm going to try to cut down on my alcohol use and leave the benzo dosage stable, and see where that leads me. From all the accounts I've heard, stopping the alcohol SHOULD decrease day and evening anxiety. It may briefly cause my sleep to be fragmented, which will be difficult to endure. But I will experiment with cutting out the alcohol. Say, for one month...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 156
My prescribing doctor is a nurse practitioner working under the guidance of a psychiatrist (whom I have never met). I trust him and he has treated me with compassion and honesty. But I don't trust him enough to admit to my alcohol abuse.
My anxiety / panic ABSOLUTELY preceded my benzo use. I understand that benzo's can paradoxically increase anxiety via rebound issues and withdrawal. But right now, they are helping me.
Dosages are escalating, but they are helping me...
My anxiety / panic ABSOLUTELY preceded my benzo use. I understand that benzo's can paradoxically increase anxiety via rebound issues and withdrawal. But right now, they are helping me.
Dosages are escalating, but they are helping me...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
Me too.
Inexplicable, unrelenting anxiety and panic happened through my youth and early adult hood. I was 32 before I was ever prescribed an antidepressant or a benzo.
Kuddos for joining SR and recognizing you might have a problem.
I was just sharing my experience with benzos and how they irrevocably altered my life.
I would just like to point out that in your first post you seemed to accept that benzos and booze were a real problem in your life, how you felt you abused benzos and couldn't come clean to your doctor about the alcohol because it could jeopardize your benzo supply.
And then you post that you would like to quit drinking for a month to see if your anxiety issues improve.
I just want to share that I felt the same way and tried the same things and it didn't go very well.
Inexplicable, unrelenting anxiety and panic happened through my youth and early adult hood. I was 32 before I was ever prescribed an antidepressant or a benzo.
Kuddos for joining SR and recognizing you might have a problem.
I was just sharing my experience with benzos and how they irrevocably altered my life.
I would just like to point out that in your first post you seemed to accept that benzos and booze were a real problem in your life, how you felt you abused benzos and couldn't come clean to your doctor about the alcohol because it could jeopardize your benzo supply.
And then you post that you would like to quit drinking for a month to see if your anxiety issues improve.
I just want to share that I felt the same way and tried the same things and it didn't go very well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 156
Ambien is not in the mix, yet. I haven't asked for it.
Thank you for being realistic about "coming out" as an alcoholic. I, personally, believe that it is a very bad decision to make. Unless you are truly at rock bottom.
Glad to hear some shrinks are still compassionate and will write RX for benzos despite a history of abuse.
Thank you for being realistic about "coming out" as an alcoholic. I, personally, believe that it is a very bad decision to make. Unless you are truly at rock bottom.
Glad to hear some shrinks are still compassionate and will write RX for benzos despite a history of abuse.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
Hey K and welcome.
I believe most shrinks are compassionate. What I have learned is that it is a lot easier to find someone to write a script for benzos than it is to find someone who can skillfully help an addict.
I was on 3-4 mgs of Klonopin for 10 years, up to 20mgs of Ambien daily for almost 20 and my alcohol consumption increased significantly during that time as well. In the last few years alcohol was the biggest issue.
I got clean and sober in June at an inpatient facility. I emphasize inpatient because I did not understand how toxic the combination was, I was really playing with fire.
I started having panic attacks in my early teens, and bad insomnia in my late 20's. I too would have said I had a decent childhood. Come to find out, divorce, alcoholism…I guess growing up in a crazy home affected me after all. I was the oldest, the overachiever, I held it all together, I actually thrived on chaos. Until I didn't.
I'm 48. Those years of running on fumes in my 20's and 30's, big jobs, crazy hours, ridiculous commitments wreaked havoc on my body. I used benzos and booze to bring me down. Therapy worked but I wasn't being honest about my drinking. I did begin to understand why I was wired the way I was…
I got used to popping a pill or chugging wine every time I felt agitated, more and more. Soon what I used to manage my life was running my life. I would count my pills, hide the bottles…I kept up a good front for a while.
I have a chronic pain issue. I was convinced I would never be able to relax or sleep without my meds. After 20 years on Ambien (except for 1 pregnancy) I thought my body would never remember how to sleep.
I didn't discover Klonopin until my very late 30's. My guess is I would have gone downhill much sooner if I had. Everything sort of got all mixed up, I couldn't tell what med was doing what..so I just took more of everything.
I have been sober 10 months tomorrow. I have never been more relaxed in my life. So weird, I would have put money on the fact that I was not like other people, that I needed drugs. I now work very closely with a doc who pays attention to everything, sleep, food, exercise, etc. I am honest about everything.
I know you are concerned about giving everything up. I wanted to get better, but I still wanted access to drugs in case I changed my mind, it is a tough spot to be in. I hope you stick around here. If you are anything like me this probably isn't going to resolve itself without some action on your part. Information is one of the best ways to get the help you need. It is great that you are reaching out for support! Welcome!
I believe most shrinks are compassionate. What I have learned is that it is a lot easier to find someone to write a script for benzos than it is to find someone who can skillfully help an addict.
I was on 3-4 mgs of Klonopin for 10 years, up to 20mgs of Ambien daily for almost 20 and my alcohol consumption increased significantly during that time as well. In the last few years alcohol was the biggest issue.
I got clean and sober in June at an inpatient facility. I emphasize inpatient because I did not understand how toxic the combination was, I was really playing with fire.
I started having panic attacks in my early teens, and bad insomnia in my late 20's. I too would have said I had a decent childhood. Come to find out, divorce, alcoholism…I guess growing up in a crazy home affected me after all. I was the oldest, the overachiever, I held it all together, I actually thrived on chaos. Until I didn't.
I'm 48. Those years of running on fumes in my 20's and 30's, big jobs, crazy hours, ridiculous commitments wreaked havoc on my body. I used benzos and booze to bring me down. Therapy worked but I wasn't being honest about my drinking. I did begin to understand why I was wired the way I was…
I got used to popping a pill or chugging wine every time I felt agitated, more and more. Soon what I used to manage my life was running my life. I would count my pills, hide the bottles…I kept up a good front for a while.
I have a chronic pain issue. I was convinced I would never be able to relax or sleep without my meds. After 20 years on Ambien (except for 1 pregnancy) I thought my body would never remember how to sleep.
I didn't discover Klonopin until my very late 30's. My guess is I would have gone downhill much sooner if I had. Everything sort of got all mixed up, I couldn't tell what med was doing what..so I just took more of everything.
I have been sober 10 months tomorrow. I have never been more relaxed in my life. So weird, I would have put money on the fact that I was not like other people, that I needed drugs. I now work very closely with a doc who pays attention to everything, sleep, food, exercise, etc. I am honest about everything.
I know you are concerned about giving everything up. I wanted to get better, but I still wanted access to drugs in case I changed my mind, it is a tough spot to be in. I hope you stick around here. If you are anything like me this probably isn't going to resolve itself without some action on your part. Information is one of the best ways to get the help you need. It is great that you are reaching out for support! Welcome!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Kabukicho 
Welcome to SR
I tried self medicating for my anxiety and depression too, among other things - the alcohol made it worse not better, and also interacted badly with my other meds.
I felt that way too... but the fear of where I might end up if I continued drinking meant that way was no viable option either.
Giving up our safety net is a leap of faith...but to be honest, it's a pretty safe leap of faith really.
There's hundreds, thousands of people here who've done it before and not only lived to tell the tale but thrived.
Glad you've joined us
D
Welcome to SR
I tried self medicating for my anxiety and depression too, among other things - the alcohol made it worse not better, and also interacted badly with my other meds.
I'm afraid that the lurking anxiety and depression will return if I leave my substances of choice behind me. I cannot envision a life without these substances. I love them. (I understand that this is all classic addictive thinking.)
Giving up our safety net is a leap of faith...but to be honest, it's a pretty safe leap of faith really.
There's hundreds, thousands of people here who've done it before and not only lived to tell the tale but thrived.
Glad you've joined us
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 156
Thank you so much for your kind words and advice.
I am truly trying to cut down on my substance abuse, but it is difficult. The latent anxiety / depression keeps rearing its head.
Someday, I will be free of this trash. I truly believe that.
I'm sorry to hear about your chronic pain. That must be harsh.
I just don't know how to deal with the anxiety / boredom (there's not really an English word for how I feel, except, perhaps, "melancholy"). I self-medicate out of a desire to quash those negative feelings.
I am truly trying to cut down on my substance abuse, but it is difficult. The latent anxiety / depression keeps rearing its head.
Someday, I will be free of this trash. I truly believe that.
I'm sorry to hear about your chronic pain. That must be harsh.
I just don't know how to deal with the anxiety / boredom (there's not really an English word for how I feel, except, perhaps, "melancholy"). I self-medicate out of a desire to quash those negative feelings.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Murphysboro, Illinois, USA
Posts: 14
Alcohol and klonopin
I also had a very severe addiction to both alcohol and Klonopin. Unfortunately, it wasn't until I was in the ER the last time with a very high BAC that a fantastic substance abuse specialist enlightened me about the dangers of benzos as they are cross-tolerant with alcohol. I was in the hospital detoxing for 18 days. It is my understanding that a 0.5mg klonopin equals to a glass of wine and the 2 together are deadly. By the grace of my Higher Power and the incredible people supporting me in recovery I have been sober since 9/7/2012. I could not have done any of it on my own. I highly urge anyone with an alcohol AND combination drug problem to seek professional right away help at any cost. What people think is inconsequential.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
I take a low dose of klonopin at night as I have had seizures in the past. It is prescribed by my neurologist and he knows about my alcohol addiction. It is suiting me for now, and my doctor is pleased with my progress. I would recommend being honest with your doctor, if you haven't already as it will come out eventually. Even the label on my klonopin bottle states "do not drink alcohol".
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 156
As some comedian said once, "That's not a warning. That's a serving suggestion."
I am NOT encouraging poly-substance abuse. But, thus far, the benzo-alcohol combination is the only thing that has provided me with significant relief.
I reiterate that multiple SSRIs have utterly failed me.
I find it incredibly difficult to stop drinking and, when I drink, I need a benzo to help me sleep.
What a mess.
I am NOT encouraging poly-substance abuse. But, thus far, the benzo-alcohol combination is the only thing that has provided me with significant relief.
I reiterate that multiple SSRIs have utterly failed me.
I find it incredibly difficult to stop drinking and, when I drink, I need a benzo to help me sleep.
What a mess.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 64
Originally Posted by Kabukicho 
Thank you all for these wonderful words of encouragement. It is so helpful to know that I am not alone.
The first step, I believe, is to quit / heavily cut down on the alcohol use. After that is out of the picture, I will focus on my benzodiazepine use.
Life is just so scary without substances...
The first step, I believe, is to quit / heavily cut down on the alcohol use. After that is out of the picture, I will focus on my benzodiazepine use.
Life is just so scary without substances...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 156
Originally Posted by Tetra
Lol at serving suggestion
I have drunk alcohol on klonopin too and it made me konk out in bed. Don't be afraid please. I used to be so afraid but my anxiety has lessened a lot since I quit drinking x
I have drunk alcohol on klonopin too and it made me konk out in bed. Don't be afraid please. I used to be so afraid but my anxiety has lessened a lot since I quit drinking x
I would love to reliably sleep without Klonopin and alcohol, but it's just not happening. My GABA system (or whatever) is so f*cked up that I can't even begin to sleep without being heavily sedated.
I guess I need to taper off the alcohol.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Alcohol detox can, sometimes, be deadly. I suffered several mini strokes in my last 'home alone' detox.
Not telling you that to scare you but to impress upon you the great advisability of getting a Dr involved.
I understand your concerns about records and the future implications of being honest with your Dr...but I think good health and well being trump those concerns.
D
Not telling you that to scare you but to impress upon you the great advisability of getting a Dr involved.
I understand your concerns about records and the future implications of being honest with your Dr...but I think good health and well being trump those concerns.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 156
I have a big enough stockpile of Xanax and Klonopin to safely home-detox, I believe.
The problem lies in my psychology. When I am sober, I am bored, depressed, and anxious. I have been told that these symptoms subside over time. But I am not convinced. I have gone on LONG sober kicks, and simply become overwhelmed by a sense of total existential boredom and anxiety.
I'm not sure that there is an answer.
The problem lies in my psychology. When I am sober, I am bored, depressed, and anxious. I have been told that these symptoms subside over time. But I am not convinced. I have gone on LONG sober kicks, and simply become overwhelmed by a sense of total existential boredom and anxiety.
I'm not sure that there is an answer.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Murphysboro, Illinois, USA
Posts: 14
I understand because I used benzos to help me with the withdrawal effects of alcohol. I appreciate your honesty more than I can express. I also was prescribed anti depressants at the same time, but with alcohol and benzos being a depressant the SSRI's did not work. What ultimately worked for me was staying in a hospital under dr's supervision to actually detox and help my body gradually withdraw from the substances. Looking back, this decision saved my life since I did not know how to use these substances to my benefit. I only knew how to abuse them. I just wanted to share my story for a couple of reasons. One; that I have been there. And two; that there is help and it is possible to recover.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
