shalette

The invitation was "Lets go have drinks in the park and listen to some live music." So I ventured out to Jazz in the Park yesterday but did take the advice and had a conversation with my family that I made the commitment to myself to live a life of sobriety. Surprisingly, they were very supportive (we drink for every occasion just I usually drink until I am passed out everyday).... They changed the drinks to Spritzers and no one drank yesterday evening (at least not in my presence).

I know this weekend will be different and I know if I go I may not be able to resist the temptation. NO Jazz Festival, Mandatory Bridal Shower, Family Brunch, and a concert. Already have the tickets, just not sure how to handle the temptation.

I can't believe I have made it this far.......

Anna

If it was me, I wouldn't go.

Just because you already have tickets doesn't mean you need to go. Mandatory?

This is a time for hard decisions and to put you and your sobriety first.

RazaR

I am by no means a sage on these matters. I would look at it this way.

If someone grabbed my hand and put a drink in it what would I do?

If I know I would be tempted in the slightest. I would not go.
If I don't know the answer to that question. I would not go.
If I knew I absolutely knew I had the strength and willingness to put it down. I might consider going.

Just my .02 but I think part of our recovery is being able to recognize when we may stumble and righting ourselves before we fall.

Oh and edit to add: Congrats on Day 3!!

shalette

I would drink it!!!! I know I am not strong right now

Yes, I can't go. Its hard telling my family "no." My family acts like its a "sin" not to participate in family events. Even when I lived in Maryland for 20 years, I would have to fly down to participate in different events whether I really could afford it or not. And I have used that for so long as an excuse to drink...

Thanks, for the support and listening to my rants! I am so determined!

Going on 40 and just learning how to make my own decisions..... "work in progress"

LDT

I've done the Jazz Fest many times, including twice after I got sober (even as everyone around me was freely imbibing)... BUT.... I could never have done it with just 3 days sobriety under my belt. I just wasn't strong enough. I spend a lot of time in NOLA and had to learn gradually how to navigate the city and all the wonderful events and festivals sober. I agree with Anna....I wouldn't go this year if I were you...there will be other music festivals for you to attend in the future. And by the way, shalette..... Doing them sober is so much more enjoyable... It's awesome being able to have the energy to last all day, and to remember everything!

P.S....If you do go, just have a ton of water by your side, and drink those delicious raspberry teas that are available. Keep hydrated.

Congrats on 3 days!

Thepatman

Wise, very wise

LBrain

wow shalette, that's a tough one. I had my picture taken with Dwayne Dopsie Jr at one of his gigs last year just before the superbowl. Of course that was a 'different' time for me. But I was still able to dance and have fun without getting smashed. It was early in the day.
If I could get there and knew my situation a couple weeks ago I'd probably come down. I'd line up for the Buckwheat Zydeco tribute if I was there. I have been sort of following it and was debating whether or not I should just get away for a few days and leave my mess here alone.

But the risk may not be worth it.
It's definitely not a healthy environment for people like us (esp me).
If you do go about, be very careful. Make sure your peeps are seriously looking out for you. I know how crazy it can get. I remember drinking from bottles that strangers were walking down the street carrying. And they're on every corner. How nuts is that?

Seriously consider taking this year off.

RazaR

And that's how we do this, one day at a time.
I'm coming up on my first sober weekend in a very long time. We can do it. I too am very determined, I see this as a very exciting time for me. I just need to stay focused and recognize the potholes so as to avoid them.

aasharon90

Having support in recovery is one of
those useful tools to use with our program
to help use not drink each day and remain
sober.

To go to functions like Jazzfest, id have
a group of friends in recovery that ive
become close with and we can all support
each other, making sure no one is tempted
to drink. Each person can watch the other
person back so to speak and use those
recovery tools we learn in recovery as
a reminder why alcohol would take all
the fun out of a good day.

As mentioned already, there will be many
more Jazzfest to attend down the road
if you don't make it this year and it wont
kill you to not go. Drinking, however,
could.

Build a strong foundation in recovery
to live upon in the early yrs. as you
grow and change to enjoy for yrs. to
come.

I would have liked to be at the Zurich
Golf Classic right there in N.O. as well,
but will enjoy it just as good right here
in my comfortable chair and cool A/C.

Ilovesleep

I am on day five and should be at a similar event with my friends tonight ( at an event that I organised) and as tempted as I was to go I left work early ( to avoid the post work drinks) came home, had an early dinner and now I am in bed watching tv and teaching myself how to knit. Nobody that knows me would believe that this is my Friday night but I am not strong enough to go out, if I do, I will drink and the last five days will be for nothing. But tomorrow I know that I will wake up and be glad I stayed strong. Don't go this weekend and I will knit you a coaster ! ( that's about the height of my tallents so far..... Lol)

shalette

I gave my tickets away and came home early (to avoid all the questions)!!!! I appreciate all the support. I have tried to get sober so many times but never sought out a support group.... it has really helped me put things in perspective.... I hope it gets easier!!!

THANKS.....

LDT

It does get easier, shalette. That's a promise. We just have to do the work.

Proud of you for giving away your tickets. I know that was difficult!

Dee74

great decision Shallette

D

Ruby2

Just because you have the tickets doesn't mean you have to use them. I absolutely hate waste but if you feel the temptation would be too much, your sobriety is more valuable than the tickets. Before I quit I would always look at the last dregs in the bottle, even if it was just a swallow and think "I can't dump that. I'll quit tomorrow." I always made sure there was just a little left over for the morning. If it isn't jazz fest it will be something else. It is a big step to even get to this stage of asking for input. There is always next year for the jazz fest. Hang tough!

Ruby2

It does get easier. Somehow I missed your post that you gave away the tickets. Good job!

Stoogy

You have done great so far, it is a difficult situation to put yourself in if you think you may not have the strength to say no, my default thought is my very last hangover feeling although I have built it up in my head to being the worst feeling I have ever had, but it works for me to think that way as I simply do not wish to feel that way ever again if I can avoid it.

Be strong and congratulations again on your progress.

Ilovesleep

Well done! I am really proud of you

Croissant

Shalette...I just wanted to say good on you for protecting your sobriety (you!).

You've made such a decisive step...it's something that reaffirms your commitment to sobriety. I'm like you, have spent the last few years constantly travelling to family events, without anyone realising the money it costs, even for a small trip.

Being sober is a new life, new decisions...but with it comes peace of mind that you are finally closer to who you really want to be and losing that feeling of powerlessness.

I have a good feeling about all this for you!

casinva

Congrats on giving the tickets away and concentrating on YOU. I think you made a great choice! When I first stopped, my MIL was scheduled to come down to visit 2 weeks into my sobriety. (She wasn't aware I had stopped.) We made up an excuse for her not to come because it was just too soon. I love her dearly but the added stress of having her here was not something I was willing to gamble on.

I'm sure as the weekend progresses you're AV is going to try to get you to justify that it's OK to drink. "Just have one". "Look at all these other people drinking!" When that happens to me I remind myself that I can't just have one - it's the whole bottle of wine (or two....) or nothing!

You're doing great!! Keep it up!