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Old 05-04-2014, 12:39 PM
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havent been here for a while and it shows

I found this site super helpful dealing with my alcoholism BUT of course I thought I was cured. Well I guess not. It turns out I am a binge drinker after all. Sure I was able to keep it somewhat under control in that I didn't go to work hung over. But it stayed with me. Nagging me. Always making me feel like I was letting myself and my wife down. Which of course I was. Im not sure what hurt most letting myself down or letting my wife down. Well I actually know the answer to that one. Since Im worthless it has to be letting down my perfect wife. Anyhow today is day one. Can you call it day one when you drank earlier in the day and then decided to go on the wagon. In my mind NO. So tomorrow is day one.
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Old 05-04-2014, 12:42 PM
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glad you are here!

I used the date of my last drink as it was about 2 am, not enough and no way to get more.

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Old 05-04-2014, 12:44 PM
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Originally Posted by mrblue1974 View Post
I found this site super helpful dealing with my alcoholism BUT of course I thought I was cured. Well I guess not. It turns out I am a binge drinker after all. Sure I was able to keep it somewhat under control in that I didn't go to work hung over. But it stayed with me. Nagging me. Always making me feel like I was letting myself and my wife down. Which of course I was. Im not sure what hurt most letting myself down or letting my wife down. Well I actually know the answer to that one. Since Im worthless it has to be letting down my perfect wife. Anyhow today is day one. Can you call it day one when you drank earlier in the day and then decided to go on the wagon. In my mind NO. So tomorrow is day one.
I think as soon as you decide to quit that is day one regardless of the specific time. Having someone so close that you do not want to let down helps enormously in my opinion as I personally would no doubt still be drinking if It wasn't for the support of my wife.
Wishing you well.
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Old 05-04-2014, 12:44 PM
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Welcome back to the Forum!!

Either way, important thing is you've made the decision to be Sober!!

I know for myself there's no getting "cured", having 1 drink would simply progress as normal to a binge and things would spiral once again!!

Great to have you onboard!!
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Old 05-04-2014, 01:26 PM
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Whether Day one is today or tomorrow, the main thing is that you're here and ready to make this work.
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Old 05-04-2014, 01:29 PM
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Welcome back! I hope our support can help you stop drinking for good.
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Old 05-04-2014, 02:00 PM
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Originally Posted by mrblue1974 View Post
Since Im worthless...
Yikes. That really made me very, very sad. You are not worthless whatsoever. Within you lies the capacity for great things. Although underutilized perhaps, your life remains a great wealth. Obviously your wife thinks so...
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Old 05-04-2014, 02:08 PM
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Originally Posted by mrblue1974 View Post
Since Im worthless it has to be letting down my perfect wife.
This sounds so much like me a couple of months ago. I mean exactly. Your AV is lying to you. You are not worthless and no one is perfect. My AV still tells me this sometimes but I don't believe it very often anymore. You will get there.
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Old 05-04-2014, 02:52 PM
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Welcome MrBlue

You'll find a lot lot of support and understanding here.
You're far from worthless. You are not your addiction

D
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