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Old 04-23-2014, 05:53 PM   #1 (permalink)
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please pray for me. Going to the doctor tomorrow.


So, tomorrow is the big day. Last night was absolute heck. All day today I couldn't help but believe that I'm going to find out the absolute worse about myself. All the symptoms that have been troubling me to come back today asI will lose I worry over what the doctor will tell me, or how long it will take for any results come back. Angry at myself for putting myself knowingly into this torture. It seems like everywhere I go I get some sort of a reminder of what I've done and how bad it could be and what I will loseI will lose. my significant other is with me tonight, but he does not know. At least I can take comfort in his presence. But I don't think I've ever been this scared in all my life. Is anyone out there could just tell me you can relate and that you were okay it might help me get through the night.
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Old 04-23-2014, 06:03 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Well I don't know exactly what it is you are going through. But. Prayers your way.
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Old 04-23-2014, 06:07 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Thinking of you.
I don't know your situation but I went to the doctors about two years ago with panic attacks and I requested full blood work. My levels were all fine. Nothing felt hard. That said, obviously I still didn't clean up right away. Deep breaths, everything's probably ok! Regardless, still continue on with sobriety!
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Old 04-23-2014, 06:08 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I don't know what your concerns are either.

But, truly, what's done is done and all you can do is to move forward and do your best to be healthy now.

Let us know how it goes.
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Old 04-23-2014, 06:12 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I got a black eye a while ago during a blackout bender and didn't care or even try to take care of it--I just picked up another bottle. Today, sober, I got the tiniest, tiniest rash and I was rubbing cream all over that.

Just remember how wonderful it is that you are taking care of yourself now. That you are sober and are going to a doctor to get checked? If you're anything like me, not so long that would have been unimaginable!
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Old 04-23-2014, 06:12 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Sending prayers up for you.
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Old 04-23-2014, 06:13 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Before you logged on yesterday you said yourself you felt fine - hang onto that.

Going to the Dr is scary but there's no particular reason why you should expect bad results.

Try and think positively about this - you've stopped drinking, you're doing well, and you're being responsible and adult by getting a checkup,

I am sure it will be ok
D
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Old 04-23-2014, 06:16 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I will keep you in my prayers.
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Old 04-23-2014, 06:21 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Prayers going up!!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 04-23-2014, 06:26 PM   #10 (permalink)
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When I finally enlisted my doctors and got honest I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders. For the first time in a long time instead of feeling ashamed and like I had to hide something I felt like my honesty opened up the possibility of getting the help I REALLY needed. Before that, doctors were a means to an end, getting more prescriptions.

I went to a doctor the other day, it was so lovely to check no under drinking, I absolutely loved the fact that I had nothing to hide.

Doctors are there to help you. Hopefully you will be met with compassion. Most doctors want to help, and if you give them a chance by admitting that you are struggling, my experience has been that they are very supportive of anyone who is getting sober.

Good luck. Just remember FEAR :Future Event Already Ruined!
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Old 04-23-2014, 06:32 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Thanks everyone. My fears are that I have caused serious liver damage. Have itchy skin, bruising ... Some swelling. But I am eating healthy, exercise, and drink water .... no substances sine almost 3 weeks. Still completely scared to death. Panic attacks all day and last night since someone posted signs of serious damage. I will fess up to the doctor. How long does it take for results to come back?
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Old 04-23-2014, 06:36 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I lost years of my young adult life due to an irrational medical fear. When I was a young teenager I found a lump on my testicle, and after much research I became convinced I had cancer. I was so scared to actually be diagnosed that I lived for years under a cloud of anxiety without ever telling anyone. Every happy family event or holiday my heart broke because I thought I wouldn't live to see it the next year, and I couldn't bear the thought of the pain it would cause my family. My only hope was that when the cancer finally spread that the end would come quickly.

I lived like that for years and don't remember the circumstances leading up to it, but I remember finally going to a doctor and finding out with relief that he didn't think it was anything to worry about unless it got bigger. Would you guess that somehow after all those years within a month the lump had doubled in size. I went into full blown panic and somehow found my way to the doctor again.

I was sent to a specialist in the city, and by that time I had done so much research that on the complaint chart they gave me I wrote a detailed essay. I had read about all the cancer tests they do, so when they took me to a room and there were full IV bags and various instruments I knew the day had finally arrived. The doctor walked in with a chuckle and said he had never seen such a detailed patient complaint and that he knew without even examining me that I had a harmless cyst.

25 years later and I still have the lump that serves as a reminder of how foolish it was to lose most of my teenage years in a fog of irrational fear. It was also foolish because if it had turned out to be bad news I could have needlessly cost myself my life because testicular cancer is almost always curable at many stages - unless of course it really was too late.

I wish you all the best. Chances are you are going to be just fine, and I venture to say that no matter the outcome it will be better than your fears.
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Old 04-23-2014, 06:40 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaynie04 View Post
Just remember FEAR :Future Event Already Ruined!
Good one...I am going to remember this

And I will pray for you luisalehz. I hope you will be fine xx
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:36 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Prayers for a good outcome going up Luis. Please let us know how it goes. We'll be waiting to hear.
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Old 04-23-2014, 08:10 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I hope your appointment goes well.

While I'm not in your shoes, I definitely remember feeling like death was imminent because of my drinking. And wouldn't you know it, I was fine. I was so relieved I had a drink or 20.

I hope you have good results. And then celebrate your relief with a Popsicle.
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Old 04-23-2014, 08:33 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Sending prayers your way. Also remember the liver is very resilient so there is a good chance you will be fine. I will still pray for you.
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Old 04-23-2014, 08:46 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I will be thinking of you. It should be only a couple of days for your blood work to be done and read by the doc.
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Old 04-23-2014, 08:57 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lance40 View Post
I lost years of my young adult life due to an irrational medical fear. When I was a young teenager I found a lump on my testicle, and after much research I became convinced I had cancer. went into full blown panic
My son discovered a testicular lump in his early 20s. He just never got around to booking an appointment so in the end I did it for him (grrrrrr).
He kept the appointment. He told me he'd no sooner got the words out of his mouth than the doctor reached into his pants, grabbed his testicles and started groping. DS was very put out - he expected a bit of small talk first, or a 'do you mind'? Serves him right for putting off the appt.

BTW, it was just a cyst.
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Old 04-23-2014, 09:01 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I will say a prayer for you and I wish you the best. without meaning to be a wet blanket though I will echo what wehav2day said. Whenever I found out good news from the doctor after being scared of the outcome I would always think "what a relief, drinking didn't ruin my health, guess I will have some to celebrate." Have a Popsicle instead. Let us know how you do.
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Old 04-23-2014, 09:21 PM   #20 (permalink)
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After 30+ years of drinking, the latter 10 of which were extremely heavy drinking, I quit in 2004. I was certain my liver was severely damaged. I had pain in my abdomen, in my lower back, my eyes had a slightly yellow color and so on.

I was certain I was a goner, my father had died from liver problems, which made me doubly certain. I was so paranoid to even go to a doctor to get the bad news that I was sure I was going to hear, I waited for almost a year and a half sober to go for blood work. Terrified the whole time that the results would be bad.

I finally went, sweated it out for several days while the lab did it's thing. The results came back perfectly normal. Not even slightly elevated. I spent a year and a half agonizing over nothing.

I eventually relapsed after 8.5 years sober. But back on track with 9 months now.

If my liver was OK, with my history, there's something to be said for the resiliency of the organ.
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