Keepintheday

Hi all. Just wanted to say hello. I made 100 days of sobriety then foolishly decided I could have just one, the night before the Easter holidays. Just one turned into a 5 day binge which finished Monday afternoon with me asking why? It's so scary how quickly it all happened, I am literally frightened out of my wits looking back at what I got up to. 5 days solid with a ridiculous number of units that I can actually count...so, so scary how quickly it tok me.

Anyway, here after my third to fourth day of withdrawal and life has been hell. I literally cannot do that again. It was an absolutely horrendous withdrawal. But seems mild on paper based on some of the things I have read here. I was a fool and did it myself but that's the stubborn alcoholic in me. And that's I went wrong in recovery and AA doing it all by myself. Time to stop being everyone's shepherd and ask for some real help myself this time.

I cannot do these three days of hell again. Ever. I just started to feel better a couple of hours ago, so wanted to post. You guys really helped me when I thought I was going to die of panic attacks or going mad through insomnia.

I feel ready to leave the house tomorrow so I will go and stay with my teetotal sister away from the stress of London Town for the weekend. Will keep in in each day but back to AA Monday. I have to remember the carnage and then illness which started last Thursday and never come back here again

Oops, long post. But had to get that all out and say thanks for helping me !

Upward2Enlightenment

Hey you learned from your mistake so you know not to even have 1 next time. You said you made 100 days sober which is great so you can kick it again. Good luck, we are all here for you.

NeonTiger

I sympathise with you greatly. It's so easy to slip back, don't beat yourself up over it. You'll make it to day 100 again and you'll remember what happened the last time and hopefully be able to prepare yourself mentally for it. Write down all the horrible feelings and experiences you had going through withdrawal, keep it on you always, and if you decide to drink at the next 100 days just re-read it. The thought of going through withdrawal again is one of the most powerful deterrents IMHO, but it can be easy to forget how bad it was after such a long time. You should be proud of making it to 100 days. Don't let this set you back. You can do it again, 100 and far beyond. Think of something you can be thankful for today - for one, you're over the worst of the withdrawal. If you're anything like I was, day 3 passing means you're finally able to get a few hours sleep. Stay strong. X

least

Welcome to the family. It's not too late to start over again. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

Keepintheday

Thank you guys! I like how supportive you bunch of peeps are. Just reading has kept me sane the last couple of days. That's a brilliant tip to write down my last three days feelings, every single one of them. That's happening tonight, before bed (let's hope some sleep tonight!) and it's going on a little cue card to be in my wallet at all times.

Thepatman

I'm unfortunately in the same boat. Getting back on track on day 2.

Mine was also a "yeah I can just have a few. Turned out the next day hungover, tried to fix it with a little booze and I can't remember much after that.

I'm with you, let's do this different this time. AA Time for me as well. Time to make sober friends and not spend my weekend sober and miserably lonely or stupid drunk also lonely

Internal organs appear to have stopped shaking, anxiety coming down. Tonight will be wicked I fear. Those stupid nightmares that scare the crap out of me.

Why we put ourselves trough this remains a bigger secret than the caramilk bar.

Ghostlight1

I've been there myself, my friend. Imagine living like that for years. That's what I did.
Don't be too hard on yourself. You slipped up. As stated above, remember how you feel now and what you went through. That helps me greatly, along with coming here.
Keep it fresh in your mind the misery of drinking.
You had a lot of sober time behind you, can do it again.

Your post helped me stay sober today, so thank you and best to you.

Keepintheday

I'm with you Patman!! And I sympathise. Unbelievably how quick this thing gets us back in its cluches and so so fast and badly? Yep, let's go!!

All will be good tonight, keep reading here. I did that all of the second night to get stop me getting restless. Helped no end! I was going to AA and liking it but like an idiot didn't follow what was suggested. But there are some great people there. I'm also not ashamed to go back and say I messed up thanks to some of the stories about that I read on here, so here we go again mate.....keep safe :-)

Anna

I'm glad you're starting to feel better, Keepintheday.

Good idea to change your surroundings for a few days, but keep in touch if you can.

Upward2Enlightenment

You shouldn't be ashamed, you are only human. I think the point I started admitting and taking responsibility for my mistakes to my family my extended family started to at least acknowledge me again my wife and children still won't but their emotional pain runs much deeper. I am still just starting to prove myself.

chickippo

the withdrawal that nearly killed me didn't stop me from doing it again. my head forgot the fear and the pain, and convinced me it would be different next time.

it wasn't.

make a solid plan and immerse yourself in recovery. reach out when you need to, and dig in hard if your head starts to go again.

be well.

Maximilian85

The same thing happened to me after a month of being sober, withdrawals had pretty much subsided so I decided to go to a friend's birthday party for a few but I woke up hungover and all the horrifying withdrawals like panic attacks and anxiety that I made it through over the month were completely reversed I'm just about feeling ok again albeit with a bit of depression left. Stay strong, stay sober