phoenixbot

I'm on day three, and as the withdrawal gets better, the depression and cravings are growing. I had a job interview today, which I was initially excited about. Then I got ready, and only had one shirt and one belt that fit from all the weight gain. (I guess that made choosing what to wear easy!)

Then I walked to the subway, and there were so many smiling people and couples. It was busy everywhere, even in the middle of the day. It was such a reminder that the world went on without me while I was trapped by my addiction. Why didn't it make me happy to be back out there and a part of it? I don't understand why it made me want to run back to my bedroom, close the blinds, and get in bed with a bottle of whiskey.

Then the job turned out to pay less than what I made in high school and 1/5 of what I was making last summer, plus 60 hours a week and 2 hours of commuting a day, cutting out all of my usual and favorite meetings as added salt in the wound.

I don't want to drink. I know that it led to all this. But the other voice in my head is saying, who cares? This isn't going to get better anytime soon, might as well reinstate the death wish, you're not going to make it either way.

Sigh. I thought I'd have a few more days until I started having to battle the cravings again. Lord, give me strength.

gatorgirl67

Phoenix,

I'm on day 3 myself....

It's an accomplisment to get out about today. Keep your head up for brighter days ahead.

XXs

Aellyce

I felt this way constantly while drinking, and for sure did not get out much, other than for work (even skipped many days going to work saying I was working from home, of course most of the time I was drinking). I was a total hermit during the last year of my drinking.

I found that a few weeks of sobriety changed this feeling a lot for me. I think it's a depressed state that takes time to lift. Try to force yourself to not isolate much - for me usually after the first step of starting something I like it becomes rewarding and often changes my low moods.