My House of Cards fell down (big time!) but still I didn't drink...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Glasgow, UK
Posts: 362
My House of Cards fell down (big time!) but still I didn't drink...
Hello everyone!
Not been on for a while but wanted to update you on how things are going and see how everyone else is doing.
I started my new job a couple of months ago. Back with old firm but with a new team. Best for my anxiety/depression or so I thought. All was really good until a couple of weeks ago and then the rails came off. I was checking my Blackberry morning, noon, night and weekends and anxiety was starting to get to me. Last week I had to put in 2 12 hour plus days with a manager who was also feeling under pressure and it was all too much for me.
Feeling like I was back where I was a few months ago I ended up doing something stupid which involved an overnight trip to the hospital and a lot of worry for my friends and family which will go on for some time to come.
I now realise that I hadn't yet hit rock bottom with everything and last week was it. Time to reevaluate what's important and get back on track. All the recovery for past few months has definitely not been wasted. Unfortunately I'd built a 'House of Cards' and it fell down easily. This time it'll be made of concrete!
My one big silver lining out of all of this is that I DID NOT DRINK. Almost eight months sober and every day I add to that I feel a bit more proud of myself.
Not been on for a while but wanted to update you on how things are going and see how everyone else is doing.
I started my new job a couple of months ago. Back with old firm but with a new team. Best for my anxiety/depression or so I thought. All was really good until a couple of weeks ago and then the rails came off. I was checking my Blackberry morning, noon, night and weekends and anxiety was starting to get to me. Last week I had to put in 2 12 hour plus days with a manager who was also feeling under pressure and it was all too much for me.
Feeling like I was back where I was a few months ago I ended up doing something stupid which involved an overnight trip to the hospital and a lot of worry for my friends and family which will go on for some time to come.
I now realise that I hadn't yet hit rock bottom with everything and last week was it. Time to reevaluate what's important and get back on track. All the recovery for past few months has definitely not been wasted. Unfortunately I'd built a 'House of Cards' and it fell down easily. This time it'll be made of concrete!
My one big silver lining out of all of this is that I DID NOT DRINK. Almost eight months sober and every day I add to that I feel a bit more proud of myself.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Dantes 9th circle
Posts: 470
All most all of us in recovery have slip ups it's part of the process for some. You did the rite thing you realized you were falling back into old patterns and though you might have taken a step back you are doing everything you can to make sure you don't fall over the edge.
You know you have people here on the board to talk and vent to 247 so use that and what ever else gets though another hour sober. Stay strong we are all here for you and we can all relate to how you feel in someway.
You know you have people here on the board to talk and vent to 247 so use that and what ever else gets though another hour sober. Stay strong we are all here for you and we can all relate to how you feel in someway.
)))))) So good to hear you didn't drink, NS, but please remember we are here when you need us xx
Keep at it. Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Glasgow, UK
Posts: 362
Thanks for all your kind words. Always been guilty of holding in my feelings so maybe need to come and vent here more often. Be careful what you wish for 
lol
Just taking things a day at a time and adding sober days is always a bonus. I know deep down this could have been so much worse if I'd been drinking as well.
lol Just taking things a day at a time and adding sober days is always a bonus. I know deep down this could have been so much worse if I'd been drinking as well.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 891
Congrats on not drinking night swimming.........and even more so, congrats on being almost 8 months sober. I am also from Glasgow, although don't live there. I'm only nearing three weeks sober and, i'm finding it relatively easy this time around....the longer i've lasted in the past is 30 days.
I know we're supposed to be thinking in the 'one day at a time' frame of mind but I can't help myself. Everytime i'm on FB and have enquiries bout when i'm next due home I find my mind wandering off to thinking about strategies of how not to drink when at home..........as we know, Scotland is just a drinking culture, I honestly can't name anyone that I know off the top of my head who doesn't drink........I almost find myself getting anxious at the thought of a holiday home for this very reason.
Doesn't seem right that a fear of social culture should prevent me from visiting family and friends. It's early days yet for me..........hopefully over time i'll develop the strength and determination that you have managed to build for yourself as I know it can't have been remotely easy.
Good for you, keep on going on.
I know we're supposed to be thinking in the 'one day at a time' frame of mind but I can't help myself. Everytime i'm on FB and have enquiries bout when i'm next due home I find my mind wandering off to thinking about strategies of how not to drink when at home..........as we know, Scotland is just a drinking culture, I honestly can't name anyone that I know off the top of my head who doesn't drink........I almost find myself getting anxious at the thought of a holiday home for this very reason.
Doesn't seem right that a fear of social culture should prevent me from visiting family and friends. It's early days yet for me..........hopefully over time i'll develop the strength and determination that you have managed to build for yourself as I know it can't have been remotely easy.
Good for you, keep on going on.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Nightswimming 
My one big silver lining out of all of this is that I DID NOT DRINK. Almost eight months sober and every day I add to that I feel a bit more proud of myself.
only makes our sobriety so much stronger
MM
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