I can do this
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 67
I can do this
I need to do this....
I feel like such a heel the next day. I'm always asking myself, why did you drink that much? It's not like it was one crazy Saturday night... it was last night, nearly every day, seemingly for no reason other than I can't put it down. This has been going on for years. I know This will be hard. I really need to talk to my wife about it but I'm not entirely sure how. She drinks more than I do. I will often skip a day or 2, she rarely skips a single day, never 2. I imagine once she notices I've stopped the questions will start coming. At that point I'll just have to be honest about it.
My dad died recently... 2 months and 2 days ago. Cancer. He made me promise him. Time to keep that promise. I kicked meth 9 yrs ago.... I can kick this to.
Here's to Day#2
I feel like such a heel the next day. I'm always asking myself, why did you drink that much? It's not like it was one crazy Saturday night... it was last night, nearly every day, seemingly for no reason other than I can't put it down. This has been going on for years. I know This will be hard. I really need to talk to my wife about it but I'm not entirely sure how. She drinks more than I do. I will often skip a day or 2, she rarely skips a single day, never 2. I imagine once she notices I've stopped the questions will start coming. At that point I'll just have to be honest about it.
My dad died recently... 2 months and 2 days ago. Cancer. He made me promise him. Time to keep that promise. I kicked meth 9 yrs ago.... I can kick this to.
Here's to Day#2
☀️⛳️
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,506
Originally Posted by RazaR 
I need to do this....
I feel like such a heel the next day. I'm always asking myself, why did you drink that much? It's not like it was one crazy Saturday night... it was last night, nearly every day, seemingly for no reason other than I can't put it down. This has been going on for years. I know This will be hard. I really need to talk to my wife about it but I'm not entirely sure how. She drinks more than I do. I will often skip a day or 2, she rarely skips a single day, never 2. I imagine once she notices I've stopped the questions will start coming. At that point I'll just have to be honest about it.
My dad died recently... 2 months and 2 days ago. Cancer. He made me promise him. Time to keep that promise. I kicked meth 9 yrs ago.... I can kick this to.
Here's to Day#2
I feel like such a heel the next day. I'm always asking myself, why did you drink that much? It's not like it was one crazy Saturday night... it was last night, nearly every day, seemingly for no reason other than I can't put it down. This has been going on for years. I know This will be hard. I really need to talk to my wife about it but I'm not entirely sure how. She drinks more than I do. I will often skip a day or 2, she rarely skips a single day, never 2. I imagine once she notices I've stopped the questions will start coming. At that point I'll just have to be honest about it.
My dad died recently... 2 months and 2 days ago. Cancer. He made me promise him. Time to keep that promise. I kicked meth 9 yrs ago.... I can kick this to.
Here's to Day#2
Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 92
Hooray for Day 2!
Sobriety with a drinking spouse is difficult. I was in your shoes once. My spouse also tried quitting while I was drinking. I don't have answers for that. I am sure others will.
Just take a moment to really congratulate yourself for the steps you have taken.
Sobriety with a drinking spouse is difficult. I was in your shoes once. My spouse also tried quitting while I was drinking. I don't have answers for that. I am sure others will.
Just take a moment to really congratulate yourself for the steps you have taken.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 67
On Day 3 now... I can't say how long it's been since I actually went 3 whole days sober.
Thanks for all the support so far. I've been reading a lot of everyone's stories & experiences on here. There really is an overwhelming outpouring of support for whomever needs it. This truly is a wonderful place and I feel blessed to be able to voice my experience here.
So, I do all the grocery shopping since it's on my way home from work. First item on her list yesterday was? Vodka. I got to stand in the isle of the liquor store on my Day2 and tell each bottle no, except hers of course. That battle is going to get harder and harder.
Last night the AW was still going strong. At one point she stopped as she was "walking" by and seemed to scan for my drink. Her expression seemed to note the lack of my usual and she proceeded on by. She spends most of her evenings out in the garage smoking, drinking, and playing on her phone. I tend to be at my computer or on the couch with my girls. For years now, between the 2 of us combined, we could knock out a 1.75L liquor bottle in less than 2 days. I don't even want to think of what it's been doing to our health. My kids deserve better than a dad who drank himself to death. That thought just makes me ill, as it should.
I hardly slept at all... sweat sweat and more sweat... staring at the ceiling. After what was maybe 4hours of sleep I woke up shaking. I know what it means and I'm glad, get it all out dammit.
Multiple prayers daily... Talking out loud to my deceased father and answering him lol I must be an interesting sight at times.
Thanks for all the support so far. I've been reading a lot of everyone's stories & experiences on here. There really is an overwhelming outpouring of support for whomever needs it. This truly is a wonderful place and I feel blessed to be able to voice my experience here.
So, I do all the grocery shopping since it's on my way home from work. First item on her list yesterday was? Vodka. I got to stand in the isle of the liquor store on my Day2 and tell each bottle no, except hers of course. That battle is going to get harder and harder.
Last night the AW was still going strong. At one point she stopped as she was "walking" by and seemed to scan for my drink. Her expression seemed to note the lack of my usual and she proceeded on by. She spends most of her evenings out in the garage smoking, drinking, and playing on her phone. I tend to be at my computer or on the couch with my girls. For years now, between the 2 of us combined, we could knock out a 1.75L liquor bottle in less than 2 days. I don't even want to think of what it's been doing to our health. My kids deserve better than a dad who drank himself to death. That thought just makes me ill, as it should.
I hardly slept at all... sweat sweat and more sweat... staring at the ceiling. After what was maybe 4hours of sleep I woke up shaking. I know what it means and I'm glad, get it all out dammit.
Multiple prayers daily... Talking out loud to my deceased father and answering him lol I must be an interesting sight at times.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Originally Posted by RazaR
On Day 3 now... I can't say how long it's been since I actually went 3 whole days sober.
Thanks for all the support so far. I've been reading a lot of everyone's stories & experiences on here. There really is an overwhelming outpouring of support for whomever needs it. This truly is a wonderful place and I feel blessed to be able to voice my experience here.
So, I do all the grocery shopping since it's on my way home from work. First item on her list yesterday was? Vodka. I got to stand in the isle of the liquor store on my Day2 and tell each bottle no, except hers of course. That battle is going to get harder and harder.
Last night the AW was still going strong. At one point she stopped as she was "walking" by and seemed to scan for my drink. Her expression seemed to note the lack of my usual and she proceeded on by. She spends most of her evenings out in the garage smoking, drinking, and playing on her phone. I tend to be at my computer or on the couch with my girls. For years now, between the 2 of us combined, we could knock out a 1.75L liquor bottle in less than 2 days. I don't even want to think of what it's been doing to our health. My kids deserve better than a dad who drank himself to death. That thought just makes me ill, as it should.
I hardly slept at all... sweat sweat and more sweat... staring at the ceiling. After what was maybe 4hours of sleep I woke up shaking. I know what it means and I'm glad, get it all out dammit.
Multiple prayers daily... Talking out loud to my deceased father and answering him lol I must be an interesting sight at times.
Thanks for all the support so far. I've been reading a lot of everyone's stories & experiences on here. There really is an overwhelming outpouring of support for whomever needs it. This truly is a wonderful place and I feel blessed to be able to voice my experience here.
So, I do all the grocery shopping since it's on my way home from work. First item on her list yesterday was? Vodka. I got to stand in the isle of the liquor store on my Day2 and tell each bottle no, except hers of course. That battle is going to get harder and harder.
Last night the AW was still going strong. At one point she stopped as she was "walking" by and seemed to scan for my drink. Her expression seemed to note the lack of my usual and she proceeded on by. She spends most of her evenings out in the garage smoking, drinking, and playing on her phone. I tend to be at my computer or on the couch with my girls. For years now, between the 2 of us combined, we could knock out a 1.75L liquor bottle in less than 2 days. I don't even want to think of what it's been doing to our health. My kids deserve better than a dad who drank himself to death. That thought just makes me ill, as it should.
I hardly slept at all... sweat sweat and more sweat... staring at the ceiling. After what was maybe 4hours of sleep I woke up shaking. I know what it means and I'm glad, get it all out dammit.
Multiple prayers daily... Talking out loud to my deceased father and answering him lol I must be an interesting sight at times.
After being told I have Fatty Liver Disease in November 2008 I gave up liquor for beer and my wife switched to wine. Funny I thought giving up one for the other would be better for my health. Fast forward a few years and I can now easily drink a case of beer within 7 to 8 hours and still fully function due to my high tolerance.
I found SR last year and although I never became a member I was able to use the member's experiences to quit for just over 9 months. In the beginning I never told my wife I was stopping. She was still drinking and didn't even notice. I finally told her at day 9; I figured she wouldn't believe that I could do it if I told her on day 1.
As she continued to drink a large bottle of wine each day, I was happy being sober; it was terribly hard in the beginning but I had my life back. I have two small kids who even noticed a change in me.
Nine months later, I thought I could moderate my drinking before the holidays... I was quickly back up to a case of beer a day on the weekends and 12 - 18 on weeknights. So here I am again at day 1. I'm a much better husband, father and person when I am sober. This time I'm doing it for good, for my kids, and for me...
My wife, however, never addresses her issue. She still drinks around a bottle of wine each night. I am hoping once I have some sober time under my belt, I can convince her to join me. It usually just turns into an argument though and ultimately she has to make the decision for herself.
Sorry this post is rather long, however, your story was so similar to mine I had to share.
Great job on Day 3 and good luck!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,855
Welcome to SR, RazaR, and to Day 3. Rooting for you. I am sorry about your Dad; it is a tough loss; hope that you have good memories to sustain you.
Keep SR close; you will find so much support and encouragement here; we understand what you are going through.
Keep SR close; you will find so much support and encouragement here; we understand what you are going through.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 970
wow- I am SO happy to hear you both giving a great effort at kicking the weight to the curb, especially with drinking partners ! My hats off to you both ! Your kids will just love you for your show of strength and love - you guys should be really proud of yourselves and when the rough times come as they will, remember, they're only temporary and everytime you stay strong, you gain more power ! Don't allow the other half to weigh you down - just ignore them and focus on your own character and strength ! Proud of you both!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
All of my immediate family has passed away, and I know for a fact they've been on my case from 'the other side' for some time to stop drinking. At the end, I just wanted to die - to join them or to at least put an end to my self-inflicted misery.
Great job for quitting. Just stay the course - don't pick up that first drink today. Very well done, you are saving your life and possibly your children.
Great job for quitting. Just stay the course - don't pick up that first drink today. Very well done, you are saving your life and possibly your children.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 67
ccam1973 -
Great post! None of us are ever alone. We do have similar stories and thank you for sharing. About the same age too (42 here). I also managed to stop for a while although nowhere near as long as you (30 days). I figured I did a great job and I can manage this in moderation. It would seem this is a very common mistake and a reoccurring theme in many peoples stories.
The fact that my wife also continue to drink will make this a particularly difficult journey. I do worry about her, who wouldn't. There have been times where she has injured herself due to the fact that she cannot even stand. I'd like to be able to "convince" her of what is happening but that hardly ever goes well in our situation I think. I'm hoping to be able to lead by example though admittedly it is just hope. I can never expect her to change until she feels she needs to. I pray that realization on her part doesn't require severe actions on mine. Tough decisions for us all lay ahead.
SoberLeigh -
Thank you so much for the kind words. My Father was a very special man. He himself would be the first to tell you he was a recovering alcoholic. He worked in the Employee Assistance program where he worked and he helped a great many people. Another of my many inspirations. I just wish I would have been able to do this while he was still with us. Admittedly I still cry everyday, I try to keep it to just while I'm in the car though.
Great post! None of us are ever alone. We do have similar stories and thank you for sharing. About the same age too (42 here). I also managed to stop for a while although nowhere near as long as you (30 days). I figured I did a great job and I can manage this in moderation. It would seem this is a very common mistake and a reoccurring theme in many peoples stories.
The fact that my wife also continue to drink will make this a particularly difficult journey. I do worry about her, who wouldn't. There have been times where she has injured herself due to the fact that she cannot even stand. I'd like to be able to "convince" her of what is happening but that hardly ever goes well in our situation I think. I'm hoping to be able to lead by example though admittedly it is just hope. I can never expect her to change until she feels she needs to. I pray that realization on her part doesn't require severe actions on mine. Tough decisions for us all lay ahead.
SoberLeigh -
Thank you so much for the kind words. My Father was a very special man. He himself would be the first to tell you he was a recovering alcoholic. He worked in the Employee Assistance program where he worked and he helped a great many people. Another of my many inspirations. I just wish I would have been able to do this while he was still with us. Admittedly I still cry everyday, I try to keep it to just while I'm in the car though.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 67
Day 4....
I would one day really like to reclaim a proper sleep pattern, sooner rather than later would be nice.
I looked at the bottle yesterday.... paced a little.... I knew it would just lead to more negative feelings laced with regret. I thought about my wife, she's on her 2nd drink maybe 3rd it doesn't matter. I need to start dinner for the kids. My 5yr old skipped by oblivious to all that's going on my head. She skipped back by again stopping to give me a hug "I love you daddy! You're the best daddy ever!". I just squeezed her tight and thought to myself (not really baby, but daddy is tryin). She makes sure I get plenty of hugs everyday but, her timing was perfect yesterday. Maybe not so oblivious after all.
I could just pour out that bottle but I like the test. I think I read somewhere that we're supposed to come to the realization that we are powerless against this. Maybe I took it out of context but, I prefer to think of it another way. I'm not powerless unless I take that first drink, that I know. I can resist that first drink, therefore I have power over it, not the other way around. If I can't believe in that then I will fail. Whatever works right? Everyone is different.
I've also started doing or rather not doing to help keep me in line. I hate shaving lol. My day 1 I didn't shave and haven't since. Changes all around, will probably need to start exercising soon also. I'm starting to have a lot more noticeable time on my hands.
I would one day really like to reclaim a proper sleep pattern, sooner rather than later would be nice.
I looked at the bottle yesterday.... paced a little.... I knew it would just lead to more negative feelings laced with regret. I thought about my wife, she's on her 2nd drink maybe 3rd it doesn't matter. I need to start dinner for the kids. My 5yr old skipped by oblivious to all that's going on my head. She skipped back by again stopping to give me a hug "I love you daddy! You're the best daddy ever!". I just squeezed her tight and thought to myself (not really baby, but daddy is tryin). She makes sure I get plenty of hugs everyday but, her timing was perfect yesterday. Maybe not so oblivious after all.
I could just pour out that bottle but I like the test. I think I read somewhere that we're supposed to come to the realization that we are powerless against this. Maybe I took it out of context but, I prefer to think of it another way. I'm not powerless unless I take that first drink, that I know. I can resist that first drink, therefore I have power over it, not the other way around. If I can't believe in that then I will fail. Whatever works right? Everyone is different.
I've also started doing or rather not doing to help keep me in line. I hate shaving lol. My day 1 I didn't shave and haven't since. Changes all around, will probably need to start exercising soon also. I'm starting to have a lot more noticeable time on my hands.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Originally Posted by RazaR
Day 4....
I would one day really like to reclaim a proper sleep pattern, sooner rather than later would be nice.
I looked at the bottle yesterday.... paced a little.... I knew it would just lead to more negative feelings laced with regret. I thought about my wife, she's on her 2nd drink maybe 3rd it doesn't matter. I need to start dinner for the kids. My 5yr old skipped by oblivious to all that's going on my head. She skipped back by again stopping to give me a hug "I love you daddy! You're the best daddy ever!". I just squeezed her tight and thought to myself (not really baby, but daddy is tryin). She makes sure I get plenty of hugs everyday but, her timing was perfect yesterday. Maybe not so oblivious after all.
I could just pour out that bottle but I like the test. I think I read somewhere that we're supposed to come to the realization that we are powerless against this. Maybe I took it out of context but, I prefer to think of it another way. I'm not powerless unless I take that first drink, that I know. I can resist that first drink, therefore I have power over it, not the other way around. If I can't believe in that then I will fail. Whatever works right? Everyone is different.
I've also started doing or rather not doing to help keep me in line. I hate shaving lol. My day 1 I didn't shave and haven't since. Changes all around, will probably need to start exercising soon also. I'm starting to have a lot more noticeable time on my hands.
I would one day really like to reclaim a proper sleep pattern, sooner rather than later would be nice.
I looked at the bottle yesterday.... paced a little.... I knew it would just lead to more negative feelings laced with regret. I thought about my wife, she's on her 2nd drink maybe 3rd it doesn't matter. I need to start dinner for the kids. My 5yr old skipped by oblivious to all that's going on my head. She skipped back by again stopping to give me a hug "I love you daddy! You're the best daddy ever!". I just squeezed her tight and thought to myself (not really baby, but daddy is tryin). She makes sure I get plenty of hugs everyday but, her timing was perfect yesterday. Maybe not so oblivious after all.
I could just pour out that bottle but I like the test. I think I read somewhere that we're supposed to come to the realization that we are powerless against this. Maybe I took it out of context but, I prefer to think of it another way. I'm not powerless unless I take that first drink, that I know. I can resist that first drink, therefore I have power over it, not the other way around. If I can't believe in that then I will fail. Whatever works right? Everyone is different.
I've also started doing or rather not doing to help keep me in line. I hate shaving lol. My day 1 I didn't shave and haven't since. Changes all around, will probably need to start exercising soon also. I'm starting to have a lot more noticeable time on my hands.
I think the statement about being powerless is that we are powerless at having just one.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Calif
Posts: 757
Raza
sorry to year about your father.
but you can kick alcohol. it is difficult, but you can do it. come to the chat room here it is a great place to meet people and talk to them.sometimes there are none and sometimes there are alot.
sorry to year about your father.
but you can kick alcohol. it is difficult, but you can do it. come to the chat room here it is a great place to meet people and talk to them.sometimes there are none and sometimes there are alot.
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