40days sober blues
 

Let me start by saying i live in a full house. I'm in my room i was in high school. Have two families living here. My mom, sister, and i; and then my brother, his wife, and their two small girls. Its very frustrating because my mom and sister-in-law do not get along and fight all the time. So my full house is a high stress environment and a drinking trigger for me. Needless to say, i am having a very hard time keeping my temptations at bay. I haven't relapsed yet but there's a high chance i could. My brother is a self medicator with weed and booze. Every night he gets drunk and i sit there and oogle at his pretty beers and wine. I've been to ten aa meetings in the past week which are also my first aa meetings ever. I have mixed emotions about them. I feel like the meetings help but then i also feel like it's a bunch of bull. Shoo I'm playing tug of war in my head because i want to drink soo bad but then i remember the bad things that happened when i drank and i don't want those things in my life. Maybe i need to see a psychologist. *Humph*

Have you considered counseling with an addiction specialist? I see a counselor and it's been a tremendous help to me in all aspects of my life.:)

Hi and welcome kellygurl1711 :)

That doesn't sound like a great situation for you or your family. I'm assuming there's reasons why you can't move out?

If you're stuck with this domestic situation I think you're really going to have to beef up your support. you'll certainly find a lot here - post as much as you need to.

I'm not sure whether you think AA is a 'bunch of bull' or your addiction does - what do you think KellyGurl?

D

You're doing amazing for being in such a bad environment for stress. Imagine how great you'll be doing once you're in a positive atmosphere. The previous posters covered my other questions I was going to ask, but I just wanted to encourage you to acknowledge to yourself how strong you've been through this whole period and just ride it out as you have been.

meetings only help us find a sponsor or a sponsee

the steps are the program of real recovery :)

Finding people who are just like us has made a difference for me in my recovery. That is why I like SR. Face to face meetings are also really helpful for some people. I'm glad you are reaching out here on SR! It is tough growing up in a family where there is so much using going on. Hang strong!