Foot

Hey folks, was a little hesitant to join up, but I gotta start somewhere. But first I gotta start by stopping.

Me: I'm 42, married, with 2 young daughters. Lucky to have a great job.

Goal: To keep all this intact.

I guess I'm what you'd call a highly functioning alcoholic?? Some how I'm able to get up crazy early, get my girls fed/ready for school, and I'm work by 8. I seem to be blessed with a really fast metabolism. Starting to wonder if that's a good thing or not. Thought I had this drinking thing in check up until about a 1.5 yrs ago. My wife and I LUCKILY have a great relationship. Talk about everything. Brutal truth. So about 6 months ago, I started having some stomach problems and knew I had to go to the doctor. Told him my symptoms and he ordered a battery of tests including a endoscopy. Everything came back normal. Told him I was drinking too much beer. His normal response was 'to cut back'. Genius. I'll just cut back. He also said I was under too much stress, which is true but thats another story. Told my wife about it and really felt i was losing control to drinking. She suggested I at least try to cut way back to avoid any dangerous withdrawals first. So with her support, I did and completely stopped for 2 months.

That's when I thought "I can do this anytime I want". So after those 2 months, I decided to stop off for a 6pack after work and took it home. You know how that ended up. So since then, I've been struggling with it. I'm also feeling really tired all the time. Upset stomach, unmotivated, etc.

So yesterday, My family and I did all the Easter stuff and met up with friends last night. Felt kinda crappy all day anyway physically. Opened a beer at about 430 and didn't stop until around 11PM. I woke up around 3AM this morning sick as a dog. As a result, I had to call into work. No big deal, I never call in, but this is a real problem to me and for my whole family. It's the kind of night where you aren't really sure how many beers you even had. Obviously, too many.

So today, thats it. I'm done. Or at the very least, I'm gonna try as hard as I can. I know there will probably be setbacks, but I've got to get a handle on this now.
And this is why I joined up.

Sorry, about my fractured, hard to read situation, but I'm glad to be here - Thanks.

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR! Congratulations on your decision to live a sober life!

What does "trying as hard as I can" look like? In other words, what's your plan?

What will you do instead of drinking? What will you do when you feel like drinking?

GracieLou

Welcome to SR Foot. There is a lot of information and support. I am glad you are here.

LBrain

The old, "I can do this anytime I want" trick. Me too. Except the last time that "anytime" took twelve years.
Welcome to the forum. Plenty of support and advice will be coming your way very soon.
It sounds like you need to quit for good. No weekends or special occasions for drinking are in your future. I can see it now as I look into my crystal ball. Wait...
Yep, you can't drink anymore. Welcome to the club. My stomach doctor told me years ago to quit drinking too. Took me quite a few years to believe him. Still suffering the effects in my gut. Just stay away from those lifetime pills for acid reflux. More harm than good for me.

OOOPS seems the help is already pouring in...

Nonsensical

And on a side note - have you tried a gluten free diet? I had a bad gut for 20+ years and it has made a huge difference for me. Give it a try for a week.

Foot

Tough questions. I have no idea what it will look like. I'm gonna focus on the moment of each day and not try to worry about the next for starters. Instead of drinking, I'm going to try and work on the aspects of my life that have been lacking and damaged because of my addiction. I'm going to have to admit a lot of things to myself and loved ones and take responsibility for it. The main thing is my children and my wife.

When I feel like drinking, I'm going to have to remember all of this and the consequences that will result if i do. Talk about it, seek more support, surround myself with the right people. I've got to change my routine as well....

Foot

So right. Funny you should mention the reflux 'lifer' meds. I'm currently weening off prilosec. So far so good. Thanks!

azbluesgal

i'd like to share my experience with this topic, although I seem to have trouble expressing my views on this site without being wrong. But I will try to keep it rational. Question. Do you REALLY want your life to have less suffering and more joy? You can quit Do you want your kids to have good memories growing up or do you want them to remember a sick parent? You can quit.Do you want your wife to fall in love with you all over and have the type of marriage you admire? You can quit. In order to do this, you need a backup plan for times when you "think" you deserve a break. For instance doing something quality with your family. Obviously you are a lucky person with a family and kids. You have stated that "calling in sick" was a line you just crossed. OK so did getting loaded change any of your problems or frustrations.? You decide. the other obvious flag you waved out was your gastric distress. You decide.. LOL
FYI am am 65 years old - drank from age 19 Feb 1st - 45 years. I have a strong constitution and a blood line of long living folks (3 generations over 90 as far back as I know about) - I can't afford to put my body more any more abuse. I'm happy with that. I've taken up other hobbies, joined the Y. got my bikes tuned up, and started studying buddhist philosophy (which really helps). Albert Ellis does too, but I am still looking for a CBT thread on this site. Good Luck with a new life. Don't wait until you get to the last knot in the end of the rope to hang on to before the crash. namaste

Foot

You know, I have. Didn't really make a difference for me personally. I went wheat/ gluten free for a bout a month. My stomach issues, might have been slightly overstated, but I had never had a single issue up until fairly recently and wanted to get it checked out. I really think the culprit is repeated alcohol consumption in my case.

LBrain

I'm still working it off. Haven't taken 'the' pill for over a week. I've been substituting as recommended by a different doctor and pharmacist. I keep a log of every time I take something and when I start to feel the 'burn'. It is becoming less with each day. I noticed my time between doses is getting longer. I'm soon ready to be done. My goal is to not take anything ever again that has to have a Dr's name next to it on the bottle.

Foot

My goal as well. I take half a pill in the morning and the other in the evening for a total of 20mg. I was taking 2 pills a day. Getting there.

BrendonM

Hey foot, welcome to the forum. You have a lot of good in your life - many alcoholics hit rock bottom before they realize they have an issue. You should be proud that you're committing to this before it caused any irreversible damage.

Congrats on hopping on the wagon with us!

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!! you'll find loads of support here!!

least

Welcome to the SR family. I hope the support here can help you stop drinking for good.

hopeful4

Hello and welcome. As a mother of two children, I invite you when you are feeling weak to read my posts. I have went through years with an alcoholic husband and we just split. My daughters and I are suffering the consequences. You don't want to be the cause of your children being in therapy.

My husband thought he had a hold on it. Until the next time. Please please get yourself a sponsor and some support.

I don't normally post here but your post struck me because you really seem to want to be well! It is easy to say right now after a bad night you've got this. However you need a plan for the long run.

Good luck and God Bless to you and your family. I hope you keep posting and reading here, there is some great support here!

Goldcoastgirl

Welcome Foot! You have found a great place in SR. Lots of supportive caring people here who can relate to what you are feeling. We know we have an issue with drinking when we compare ourselves to others who do have an off switch. Keep posting and best wishes on your journey x

sugarbear1

Alcoholism is about not being able to live without drinking.

It's not about anything else you do or don't do.

I wish you well on your sober journey!

LBrain

sugarbear, you drinking again?


Okay, after about the fiftieth time I read it I think I understand what you're trying to say.