Help me, I am all alone and about to lose everything.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2
Help me, I am all alone and about to lose everything.
I am a well used to be quite successful guy who has a beautiful wife and two beautiful children and I cannot stop drinking, started this am at 4. She is about to leave me, my boss is wanting to fire me and I can be an All American at whatever is put in front of me. My wife called me a loser last night because my motivation is **** and my financials are essentially gone. I can recover from this but I need help. HELP in a big way, I am dying on the vine here.
Just have lost all motivation and drink all the time. Feel like a total loser. She is right and have to get all this right. I wish you could see my little ones. SO amazing and I am throwing all of it away and hope I have not already.
Just have lost all motivation and drink all the time. Feel like a total loser. She is right and have to get all this right. I wish you could see my little ones. SO amazing and I am throwing all of it away and hope I have not already.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Welcome nashwan. You will find a lot of support and resources here.
I'm sorry things seem so bad....I guess sometimes they have to get that way to slap us on the face and break free of it.
Have you stopped drinking yet? That's your first goal.
I'm sorry things seem so bad....I guess sometimes they have to get that way to slap us on the face and break free of it.
Have you stopped drinking yet? That's your first goal.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
We all need someone.
It's what SR is all about: someone somewhere in the digital realm is here to read and post, to share their struggle and little victories.
Welcome to SR.
It's time for some drastic action. This will not be easy. It may be the hardest yet most important thing you do in your life: Ask for help.
If you're the type of alcoholic I was, you won't be able to quit on your own. But you can do something completely foreign to you: Pour the rest of the booze down the drain. Embrace the suck of early recovery, relish the pain and the fight and the misery that will come over the next couple of days, and do something utterly drastic: Either call a doctor and tell them you're an alcoholic or find a program of recovery that speaks to you, be it Rational Recovery or AA or rehab or a shrink.
It's what SR is all about: someone somewhere in the digital realm is here to read and post, to share their struggle and little victories.
Welcome to SR.
It's time for some drastic action. This will not be easy. It may be the hardest yet most important thing you do in your life: Ask for help.
If you're the type of alcoholic I was, you won't be able to quit on your own. But you can do something completely foreign to you: Pour the rest of the booze down the drain. Embrace the suck of early recovery, relish the pain and the fight and the misery that will come over the next couple of days, and do something utterly drastic: Either call a doctor and tell them you're an alcoholic or find a program of recovery that speaks to you, be it Rational Recovery or AA or rehab or a shrink.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,855
Nashwan, welcome to SR. Glad you found this site.
I can't tell too much from your posts as to how long and how much you have been drinking but it sounds like you are definitely having a problem with alcohol and you would like to stop, is that right?
I can't tell too much from your posts as to how long and how much you have been drinking but it sounds like you are definitely having a problem with alcohol and you would like to stop, is that right?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
welcome aboard...
you're not all alone... there's a lot of us out here / out there who have been through it too.
You can turn this all around, you really can.
First step - stop whatever drinking you're doing RIGHT NOW.
Next up - find yourself the next available AA meeting in your location (just google AA meetings in _____wherever you are______). AA may not wind up being your preferred path, but it is an immediate, broadly-available resource that can give you some face to face REAL support and get you going in the right direction.
I'm sorry you're in that awful place..... I know what it feels like.
you're not all alone... there's a lot of us out here / out there who have been through it too.
You can turn this all around, you really can.
First step - stop whatever drinking you're doing RIGHT NOW.
Next up - find yourself the next available AA meeting in your location (just google AA meetings in _____wherever you are______). AA may not wind up being your preferred path, but it is an immediate, broadly-available resource that can give you some face to face REAL support and get you going in the right direction.
I'm sorry you're in that awful place..... I know what it feels like.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome Nashwan. SR is a great place to find support, I use it as my main too in staying sober.
I was getting close to throwing my family and job away too, but I was fortunate enough to get sober before I did, you can absolutely do the same and many others have done so as well.
Have you considered seeking out some support locally too? Like a group based meeting (AA/Smart/etc ) or perhaps some counseling/detox/rehab? There are a lot of tools you can use if you want to do this - and we're here to help.
I was getting close to throwing my family and job away too, but I was fortunate enough to get sober before I did, you can absolutely do the same and many others have done so as well.
Have you considered seeking out some support locally too? Like a group based meeting (AA/Smart/etc ) or perhaps some counseling/detox/rehab? There are a lot of tools you can use if you want to do this - and we're here to help.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Essex
Posts: 411
Hi nashwan
Sorry things are tough right now
Not sure where in the world but advice would be to ring the AA line, local or national to ask about meetings or a face to face call. Get to a meeting as soon as you can
Other than that, if you need to continue drinking to avoid any withdrawals then at least slow down if you can & drink some water.
It is possible to get & stay sober and avoid losing what you already have or anything else - health, sanity, your life ultimately. All begins with getting support & not taking that first drink.
Take it easy & make those calls.
Wish you well
Sorry things are tough right now
Not sure where in the world but advice would be to ring the AA line, local or national to ask about meetings or a face to face call. Get to a meeting as soon as you can
Other than that, if you need to continue drinking to avoid any withdrawals then at least slow down if you can & drink some water.
It is possible to get & stay sober and avoid losing what you already have or anything else - health, sanity, your life ultimately. All begins with getting support & not taking that first drink.
Take it easy & make those calls.
Wish you well
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 27
Not only are you not alone, but by reaching out you're helping me right now...with some of my thoughts. So even across the internet you have use and value.
I hope things turn out well for you, and they CAN.
You're going to have to go through the painful process of sobering up. If you're like me, it's a very uncomfortable period. But it ends. Sometimes I impulsively pour it all out knowing that I will regret doing so within minutes.
Not a sustainable strategy, but it might be appropriate for the moment. And remember that your kids will always be your kids. You can't give up on them. You can't. You just can't.
I struggle with giving up on myself. But you can't give up on your kids. Find strength from wherever you can right now.
I hope things turn out well for you, and they CAN.
You're going to have to go through the painful process of sobering up. If you're like me, it's a very uncomfortable period. But it ends. Sometimes I impulsively pour it all out knowing that I will regret doing so within minutes.
Not a sustainable strategy, but it might be appropriate for the moment. And remember that your kids will always be your kids. You can't give up on them. You can't. You just can't.
I struggle with giving up on myself. But you can't give up on your kids. Find strength from wherever you can right now.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
Stopping drinking isn't easy. You probably already know that. It was virtually impossible for me. The last 4 years of my drinking I drank every single day. Tried to stop hundreds of times and couldn't do it. At the end I was hospitalized , and released with nothing more than a suggestion to start attending AA meetings and get myself into aftercare. I didn't want to, but kinda had no choice. Plus one of my father's friends rang my doorbell the day I was released and was very convincing about my going. He took me to my first handful of meetings. Made anywhere between 5 and 10 meetings a week in the beginning. 30 years later I'm still sober and still attend, only about 1 a week though... and not because I have to. I want to.
Having been around as long as I have I've seen lots lots of people try, fail, try again, wind up ruining their lives... I've seen people die from this disease too. And I've seen lots of people recover. The ones that I see recover seem to have a few things in common. Most important I think is really wanting to be sober. After that comes the ability to be open minded, and willing. Willing to change the person that has to drink the way we drank. If I just put the drink down and did nothing else to learn to live differently and maintain my sobriety, I'm absolutely certain I'd be drunk again. And either locked up in an institution or dead.
I was completely willing to do anything and everything that was suggested when I got sober, and it worked. One of the first things I was told was that this isn't something we can do alone, and that's where AA came in for me. AA taught me how to live in a sober world, and incorporating AAs 12 steps into my life I feel healed me of my active alcoholism. People get sober without AA, also. People get sober without using the 12 steps. There's a handful of other recovery methods out there, AVRT, Rational Recovery, SMART, and some others. I'm not familiar with them, and they're not as accessible as AA but a lot of people here use them.
My suggestion for right now would be to do a search for AA meetings in your area, and get to one tonight. Most groups carry a book called Living Sober that would be a really good idea to pick up too. You can also get it on amazon. It's a small softcover book that has a whole lot of simple yet invaluable suggestions on how to live a newly sober life.
Wishing you the best.
Having been around as long as I have I've seen lots lots of people try, fail, try again, wind up ruining their lives... I've seen people die from this disease too. And I've seen lots of people recover. The ones that I see recover seem to have a few things in common. Most important I think is really wanting to be sober. After that comes the ability to be open minded, and willing. Willing to change the person that has to drink the way we drank. If I just put the drink down and did nothing else to learn to live differently and maintain my sobriety, I'm absolutely certain I'd be drunk again. And either locked up in an institution or dead.
I was completely willing to do anything and everything that was suggested when I got sober, and it worked. One of the first things I was told was that this isn't something we can do alone, and that's where AA came in for me. AA taught me how to live in a sober world, and incorporating AAs 12 steps into my life I feel healed me of my active alcoholism. People get sober without AA, also. People get sober without using the 12 steps. There's a handful of other recovery methods out there, AVRT, Rational Recovery, SMART, and some others. I'm not familiar with them, and they're not as accessible as AA but a lot of people here use them.
My suggestion for right now would be to do a search for AA meetings in your area, and get to one tonight. Most groups carry a book called Living Sober that would be a really good idea to pick up too. You can also get it on amazon. It's a small softcover book that has a whole lot of simple yet invaluable suggestions on how to live a newly sober life.
Wishing you the best.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,473
Welcome, Nashwan!
I hope that you can dig deep and find the motivation to stop drinking.
It sounds like you have a lot going for you, so I hope you make the decision to stop drinking.
I hope that you can dig deep and find the motivation to stop drinking.
It sounds like you have a lot going for you, so I hope you make the decision to stop drinking.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by nashwan 
...I can be an All American at whatever is put in front of me.
Reject nothing.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 18
The disappointment of a spouse is horrifying! I hated to see the look on my husband's face when he knew i was blown out of my mind!(In my mind, I was so sneaky pulling it off!) You have to be stronger than the drink. You can get sober! Believe in yourself even though its the hardest thing to do!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 49
You are not alone Nashwan. I have been in the same place as you. Drinking from the time I got up in the morning until I passed out. Wake up and do it again. Over and over until I would be too physically ill to keep alcohol down.
If you drink like that, like I did, the detox won't be fun. But it will pass. I did not seek medical attention during detox, but it's a good idea to do so. The worst part of detox would be over in a week. Then it's better day by day going forward.
You'll get lots of support here. Try an AA meeting. Lots of support there.
At an AA meeting tonight, the topic was the importance of meetings. When it was my turn to share, I said that meetings were important to me because of the fellowship of other alcoholics. Alcoholism is a rather lonely affliction, I think you see that. In AA, while everyone has different stories in the details, they are all pretty much the same in the big picture of the ravages of alcohol. People are there to share their experiences without fear of being judged. They share their strength that keeps them sober and share their hopes of remaining sober.
There is a passage in the Bible, I believe it's the Apostle Paul to the Corinthians, in which he stresses the importance of people that have similar afflictions comforting each other. Give comfort and receive comfort. You will find that here on SR and in AA should you choose to go.
Best wishes to you. If I can stay sober for 245 days now, you can too.
If you drink like that, like I did, the detox won't be fun. But it will pass. I did not seek medical attention during detox, but it's a good idea to do so. The worst part of detox would be over in a week. Then it's better day by day going forward.
You'll get lots of support here. Try an AA meeting. Lots of support there.
At an AA meeting tonight, the topic was the importance of meetings. When it was my turn to share, I said that meetings were important to me because of the fellowship of other alcoholics. Alcoholism is a rather lonely affliction, I think you see that. In AA, while everyone has different stories in the details, they are all pretty much the same in the big picture of the ravages of alcohol. People are there to share their experiences without fear of being judged. They share their strength that keeps them sober and share their hopes of remaining sober.
There is a passage in the Bible, I believe it's the Apostle Paul to the Corinthians, in which he stresses the importance of people that have similar afflictions comforting each other. Give comfort and receive comfort. You will find that here on SR and in AA should you choose to go.
Best wishes to you. If I can stay sober for 245 days now, you can too.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome to SR, nashwan! I realize things are very bad for you right now but the fact that you found this site means there is hope. And not false hope- real hope. Almost everyone here has flirted with total ruin from alcohol, but many of us have reclaimed our lives.
Read the responses and act upon them! I used AVRT to quit; there are many other approaches but the key fact is that you must stop drinking now. Later will not do. You can't control what your wife or boss choose to do, you can only control you. Give them a reason to trust you again, to give you a chance.
Read the responses and act upon them! I used AVRT to quit; there are many other approaches but the key fact is that you must stop drinking now. Later will not do. You can't control what your wife or boss choose to do, you can only control you. Give them a reason to trust you again, to give you a chance.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
You are in hell. I remember that feeling. If I were you I would prepare for myself for a frank discussion with my boss. I think in patient rehab could do you wonders. A 30 day program with intensive outpatient. Most work places (at least here in the USA) are becoming increasing more supportive to employees with addictions. But you have to own up to it and have a plan. In 30 days you would have enough self esteem and education and social contact to get the start you need in sobriety. You sound desperate which means you could have a lot of success if you do the work and commit to a program.
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