LadyBlue0527

Over the past 11 months that I've been here I've seen lots of newcomers that have made their way to this board, and for each new post I smile for that person. The decision to quit is a hard one to make and reaching out to find help is even harder. The fact that you're here is huge. One question that's consistently asked for is pointers on ways to stay sober. When replying I try to always mention that there's a lot of information on here about programs. There is, but there's something that's more important than pointing out that they exist.

For whatever you choose, what's going to make that program work for you and to assist you in success is how "active" you are within it. Some of the existing programs are AA, SMART, LifeRing, and AVRT, there are many more. There's a lot to choose from. You have to do some legwork and reading to figure out which one fits.

Here's the really more important piece, the ability for any of those programs to work is how much you invest yourself into it. Simply attending is not enough. It's the equivalent of going to an exercise class or a gym, sitting in a chair doing nothing, and watching everyone else work out. You'll never see any results. You're going to get out of a program what you put into it. It's important if you want to succeed to be "Active in Recovery".

That's my two cents for the day. You have to want this, you have to want it unconditionally, and you have to work at it. The work is challenging but the payoff is enormous. I hope this helps and I wish the best to all of the newcomers!

izzy8

Lady blue- that's helpful, thanks. The reason for my questions is partly wondering what the best way to handle it is. And so far I've come to this: it's not so much exactly which program or what I do exactly but that I do something.

Because I'm a fix it and move on and find the value in positive thinking it hasn't seemed healthy to subscribe to a lifetime of recovery. That has felt to me like, "you can check out but you can never leave"- or, why are we always in recovery but never Recovered!

I guess I'm figuring that out.

doggonecarl

I concur. Results are directly proportional to effort. And while the "effort" may lessen as one moves on with recovery, I don't think it goes away, izzy. Maybe for problelm drinking, but not for alcoholism. Just as a diabetic must make life-long changes, as does the heart attack survivor, or someone battling obesity, the alcoholic/addict must maintain the life changes that led to sobriety, or else the affliction claims him back.

izzy8

Doggone, that's what I'm beginning to understand. Not quite there yet partly bc I've wondered if I was just a problem drinker. It's becoming more clear.

TonyReeceAustin

I am sober 3 days now. Last Wednesday night I "quit" and went out again. I had been doing the bare minimum step work and because I have a 7 week old baby had all the excuses in the world for not "diving in". I am meeting with my sponsor tomorrow and told him that I am done dictating the pace of this and no matter what it takes I am going to do as he says and put this first. I don't know what that means exactly whether its 90 meetings in 90 days, boundaries and limits...I have no idea. I just know that my version on how to do this work always leads to relapse and failure.

GracieLou

Faith without works is dead. Action, action, action has been key to my recovery.

I went to meetings, I went to Founders day, I went to meetings, I met with my sponsor, I went to meetings, I got a home group, I met with my sponsor, I went to meetings, I got active in the HG, I went to meetings, I got busy with step work, I went to meetings…

Active!

None of this activity takes very long. An hour or two a day. I drank more than an hour or two a day. Every single time I was tired after work or it was a weekend and I wanted to couch surf I asked myself “Would I have enough energy to get drunk or to drive to the liquor store?

The answer 9.99999 out of 10 times was yes, so I got my butt to a meeting. If I could get drunk I can go to a meeting. If I can drive to the liquor store, I drive to a meeting, if I could sit in a bar, I sit in a meeting.

It is also a LOT cheaper

Nothing changes if nothing changes. I had to change what I was doing before because that was not keeping me sober.

IOAA2

Thank you LB. Your focus was "pounded" into me years ago by the
"Hard Liners" and I naturally did it to excess being compulsive. Back in the ancient history I'm from, I went to an AA conference while I was still drinking and came away with one thing a speaker emphasized: Many are in AA but too many are around AA.

BE WELL

soberlicious

Izzy, I am the same. I don't subscribe to a lifetime of recovery. I quit drinking years ago and alcohol is no longer an issue because I am a nondrinker. It doesn't take any work for me to remain a non drinker, but it does take work to improve my life and be the best me I can be.

tomsteve

the fix it an move on thing works great for things like a broken water pipe, bad brakes on a car, leak in the roof,etc.
it can be in a way with recovery,too, with a different perspective. when somethings broke in my thinkin/actions, I fix it and move on. however, just like the water pipe,brakes, and roof, my thinkin and actions need maintenance,too.

luisalehz

Everything works, but nothing doesn't.

CAPTAINZING2000

Early on I was real active in going to meetings.
You evolve in sobriety. Sadly, I think their our many seeing this as a life long punishment. After we get sober, we only take a different path on life's journey.