Relapse and burned bridges
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
I did not expect such support. I am on an Iphone and trying to respond to everyone that took the time to post.
To all merci, from my the bottom of my heart I thank you, With your help I feel I can make it,
Dee!!!!!!! I need one of those well spoken support post!
To all merci, from my the bottom of my heart I thank you, With your help I feel I can make it,
Dee!!!!!!! I need one of those well spoken support post!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,039
Hi ThePatman, I agree with everyone that you've burnt no bridges on SR and just keep trying. I'm glad you're here today. 
The easter holiday is a symbol of rebirth. I believe you can find a new sober self, just keep trying!
I hope you find a meeting. Most AA intergroups list them online if you look.
Dee is probably sleeping. I think it's after midnight in Dee-land.
The easter holiday is a symbol of rebirth. I believe you can find a new sober self, just keep trying!
I hope you find a meeting. Most AA intergroups list them online if you look.
Dee is probably sleeping. I think it's after midnight in Dee-land.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Island Park , NY
Posts: 373
Originally Posted by Hevyn 
How could you burn your bridges with us? Not going to happen. This is hard work ThePatman - and we know all too well what you're going through. As for helping newcomers - you are helping them - by sharing your journey, even with its ups and downs.
You are cared about here and you are not giving up on yourself. Keep going - you will do this yet.
You are cared about here and you are not giving up on yourself. Keep going - you will do this yet.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Thepatman
I never wanted to go to AA, because my mom used to bring me there when I was young, bad memories for me. But I did call again last night and left a message, this is the 4 message I leave in a few months, nobody ever calls me back.
most larger cities have someone answering the phones at all times of the day
a list of local meetings
maybe can be found on the internet for your town or city
I would stay in my outpatient Program
and I would stay on site here where one is always welcome
MM
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
Patman your life isn't falling apart, it's falling into place. The Fuzz said so. How would you like to be a naked cat.....image.jpg
Now that you're broken.....listen to this....
Keep Making Me - Sidewalk Prophets - with Worship Video with lyrics - YouTube
Now that you're broken.....listen to this....
Keep Making Me - Sidewalk Prophets - with Worship Video with lyrics - YouTube
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by happycampers
quit calling and just find a meeting ! It's up to you to get out of your house and resolve your loniness. An AA meeting is a good starting point - now put on your shoes and get moving !
AA meetings are listed online. No need to call and wait. I'm sorry you're not getting callbacks but hey - get to a meeting. Actually... get to a few dozen meetings.
Do you really want sobriety? If so, AA can and does help. Even if it's "not for you" - it can still be a powerful tool.
Besides..... isn't it kind of clear that you have yet to find what "IS for you"???
Shake off the shame and get out a piece of paper. Write down THREE commitments to yourself. One is too few, four is too many.
Make commitment #1 be something like this;
I commit to myself that I will give AA a fair shake, because I want more than anything to be out of this awful cycle and I am willing to do whatever it takes.
Then - two other commitments to yourself about what you will do DIFFERENTLY this time. Sit somewhere quiet with a nice view and give it some thought as you reflect on what DIDNT work.
Will this advice work?
Hell.... I don't know......
But isn't it worth a try.
Hang in there man, you can turn this around.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Island Park , NY
Posts: 373
Patman, I have read many of your posts and you've helped a lot on SR, no one is going to push you away! You may PM me anytime. May not answer right away but definately will. I am on here reading old posts and threads at all times of the day when I am working around the house and yard. Please keep going on your journey to sobriety! Happy Easter! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
Sorry about unanswered phone calls, Patman. If you're up there in a somewhat isolated area, AA may be small, the phone may not be monitored and might just be there to provide a recording of the meeting schedules.
I doubt you are calling an actual office, but more like a digital answering machine. We alcoholics like to initiate a lot of service -- like establish hotlines -- and then sort of drop the ball on following up on all messages. I mean, we're alcoholics.
Go to a meeting. Just walk in the door, plop the rear in a chair, and say, "I need help."
Go early if you can. Stay late. See if someone asks you to go to coffee after the meeting.
I think that's a huge first step to make.
You want this, it's obvious or you wouldn't post here and offer the support you do to others.
But if you're an alcoholic like me, wanting to get sober and not drinking are two entirely different things. Drinking is our default mode, resetting automatically despite what we do on our own. My trigger was breathing. I couldn't get sober on my own. I had to have help. And for many of us online support like SR just isn't enough.
Thanks for sharing.
I doubt you are calling an actual office, but more like a digital answering machine. We alcoholics like to initiate a lot of service -- like establish hotlines -- and then sort of drop the ball on following up on all messages. I mean, we're alcoholics.
Go to a meeting. Just walk in the door, plop the rear in a chair, and say, "I need help."
Go early if you can. Stay late. See if someone asks you to go to coffee after the meeting.
I think that's a huge first step to make.
You want this, it's obvious or you wouldn't post here and offer the support you do to others.
But if you're an alcoholic like me, wanting to get sober and not drinking are two entirely different things. Drinking is our default mode, resetting automatically despite what we do on our own. My trigger was breathing. I couldn't get sober on my own. I had to have help. And for many of us online support like SR just isn't enough.
Thanks for sharing.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 84
How about we not feel sorry for ourselves and past issues. It is time not to get over them, but to deal with them And realize they don't control us... Get out of self pity and get back on the saddle!
My least favorite part of IOP was listening to people whine about ancient history... Sorry. Own your problems. Don't blame foolish behavior on it
My least favorite part of IOP was listening to people whine about ancient history... Sorry. Own your problems. Don't blame foolish behavior on it
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Gatineau is somewhere near Ottawa. heres the site for AA meetings:
Ottawa Area Intergroup of Alcoholics Anonymous
Ottawa Area Intergroup of Alcoholics Anonymous
☀️⛳️
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,506
Originally Posted by Thepatman
Hello Everyone,
Been up and down, in and out of sobriety that I feel like a recovery dildo.
Sorry for my language but I relapsed last night. HALT! It works!
I know what my trigger is, I am lonely as hell. 4 day weekend...
I worked out and sore, cleaned the house the backyard went for a walk and hated every second of it.
I am in an outpatient program, can detox safely, been doing this for way too long. Father died of cancer when I was 5, mother died of booze in 2007, I burned my bridges with family and on SR I fear.
As for my thread "change of plans" I am now at a lost.
I never wanted to go to AA, because my mom used to bring me there when I was young, bad memories for me. But I did call again last night and left a message, this is the 4 message I leave in a few months, nobody ever calls me back.
All I can say without crumbling is that I am sorry for trying to help newcomers when I cant hold my own **** in one piece.
Sorry for letting you down, having an Alcoholic self pity fit.
There is no easy way out.. No shortcut home to sobriety
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4eij5IGNNcc
Been up and down, in and out of sobriety that I feel like a recovery dildo.
Sorry for my language but I relapsed last night. HALT! It works!
I know what my trigger is, I am lonely as hell. 4 day weekend...
I worked out and sore, cleaned the house the backyard went for a walk and hated every second of it.
I am in an outpatient program, can detox safely, been doing this for way too long. Father died of cancer when I was 5, mother died of booze in 2007, I burned my bridges with family and on SR I fear.
As for my thread "change of plans" I am now at a lost.
I never wanted to go to AA, because my mom used to bring me there when I was young, bad memories for me. But I did call again last night and left a message, this is the 4 message I leave in a few months, nobody ever calls me back.
All I can say without crumbling is that I am sorry for trying to help newcomers when I cant hold my own **** in one piece.
Sorry for letting you down, having an Alcoholic self pity fit.
There is no easy way out.. No shortcut home to sobriety
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4eij5IGNNcc
Relapse is NOT failure, failure is failing to learn from our mistakes.
Stay strong you can do this.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Pat . . . don't talk nonsense, there are no burnt bridges on SR!!
The people who relapse and abandon SR as they are embarrassed or have simply given up, those are the people SR never sees again for months on end.
Whereas you posted the next day!! . . that took courage and strength, and it is that which newcomers need to hear about!! . . . what do you do when you relapse? . . . well you do what Pat does, you pick yourself up and go at it again!!
We're all here for you man!!
The people who relapse and abandon SR as they are embarrassed or have simply given up, those are the people SR never sees again for months on end.
Whereas you posted the next day!! . . that took courage and strength, and it is that which newcomers need to hear about!! . . . what do you do when you relapse? . . . well you do what Pat does, you pick yourself up and go at it again!!
We're all here for you man!!
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Thepatman, please don't burn any bridges here. Thanks for speaking out, makes me realize that what's happening to you can happen to me, so you have helped everyone. You're on day one again, it's all ya can do, rootin for ya. 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
Hey Pat, I'm sorry you drank, but alcoholism is relentless. I think most of us have faltered a time or two.
You give great advice here, and great support - you just need to start listening to your own advice a little and reach out more I think
The difference between stop and start progress and permanent recovery could be a little as you getting more sober support, working out things to do when you get lonely again...and remembering you're a great guy who deserves better than the treatment your addiction hands out.
If there's a next time when the wall start closing in and you feel despondent about the future or what you did in the past - reach out, man.
We have a great chat room and a great arcade here, you could start a thread, send some PMs....
Shine an SR light on that addiction - it hates that
D
You give great advice here, and great support - you just need to start listening to your own advice a little and reach out more I think
The difference between stop and start progress and permanent recovery could be a little as you getting more sober support, working out things to do when you get lonely again...and remembering you're a great guy who deserves better than the treatment your addiction hands out.
If there's a next time when the wall start closing in and you feel despondent about the future or what you did in the past - reach out, man.
We have a great chat room and a great arcade here, you could start a thread, send some PMs....
Shine an SR light on that addiction - it hates that
D
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