Feeling Down and Lonely
 

How do people quit drinking without someone else to be with. I literally have no friends outside of work. I have three roommates, two of which are a couple and hide out in their room making them exceedingly hard to talk with. The other one, I don't know and he just kinda sticks to himself and the other two room mates. I moved in recently (the other three lived together before I moved in), and I live in the God-forsaken basement. Went on a drinking binge from Friday through Tuesday (alone). Woke up sick on Wednesday and haven't drank since. Dealing with the mental toll now. Depression, loneliness, etc.

I am young, but feel that I would be socially awkward at a young people's AA meeting. Going to a closed AA meeting (for any age alcoholic) in two hours. I hope it works.

I'm on day 4, but today has been crappy.

Do you have any other interests like music, art, exercise, writing etc? Can you find something of your very own that brings you pleasure outside of home that you can join in with like a class or interest group? Here in Australia online there is a website called Meet Up Groups (try and google at your end and see if you can find) where anything you have an interest in ie sports, bush walking, travel, meditation (the list is endless) etc there is a social group for like minded people that meet. What brings you real pleasure and makes you happy?

Hi and keep going. It works for me and millions of alcoholics. IF WE WORK IT!
I got in and was on the fringes, not opening up and always left early. What was I thinking. Then I tried shaking someones hand and saying I'm new and confused, or something like that. Doing that at least once at each meeting and volunteering for a simple job like unstacking and restacking chairs exposed me and I started to feel part of something. Never would I want to speak, the walls would collapse! Then one day I did and I felt great afterwards! Try to remember we all had a first time, and we are among people who understand us.

BE WELL

How do people quit drinking without someone else to be with.


Be careful what you wish for Sweetie.....

Take heart sweetheart, and just keep going.

The advice from IO above is great, and I relate to your description of your drinking, and feelings of isolation and apartness. Arriving early, helping to set up, with the washing up and clearing away after, are all great ways of feeling part of, and put no pressure on you to talk.

Hope the meeting went well, and that you're encouraged to stick with it.

Hi Imabuleva. I'm sorry you're feeling down. Those first days are rough & it's a huge adjustment. I hope you'll begin to feel less lonely. I'm glad you posted - we are always here for you.

It's good you're going to a meeting tonight - let us know how it goes & how you're feeling.

Great job on your 4 days. :hug:

Great job on 4 days. Those early days are rough. It is something you just have to get through sometimes. I am glad you are reaching out. I hope the meeting goes well for you. Please let us know how it goes. We are all here for you. Hang in there. It will get better.

Come here and hang out and post lots! There are lots of lonely people but here there is always lots going on. :hug:

Hi Ima,
Everyone feels lonely sometimes. Even people who don't have a problem drinking. Sometimes people just get blue. Here's the trick. Healthy people have learned how to comfort themselves and either figure out to do something to pull themselves out of it or just accept that's how they feel at the time but it will pass so it's still okay even though it's not great.

I'm learning this one myself.

I think this is just part of learning to live without alcohol. Great job on 4 days. Just keep looking forward and trust you won't always feel this way. Try different things and see which ones help pull you out of it. Even if it's just for an hour.

Hang in there.

The meeting is actually 2 and 1/2 hours from now. I will be going tonight (first sober AA meeting... yes, I went to one plastered in the past). I've just lost all enthusiasm and motivation to do anything. AA is honestly my last resort. I feel like I have crippling social anxiety and I am very self-conscious, which is probably compounded by my alcoholism.

I think it's normal to be down on day 4 Ima.

I dunno about you but when I look back on the end of my drinking career I didn't have that many friends anyway.

I think there's the tendency for folks like us to still look for external solutions to internal problems, yeah?

Give yourself a little time to get your recovery solid and sort yourself out...you'll be a far greater friend or partner for it, Ima :)

I hope you do go to the meeting - there's no need to be a hermit - there's a lot of things you could do not related to drinking that might help you feel better. Being around sober peeps is one of them :)

D

I'm the same Ima! For decades I thought I was helping myself cope by drinking. In reality, I prevented myself from growing as a person by getting numb & foggy. We don't need it. Wish it hadn't taken me so long to figure that out.