Might as well....
 

Might as well put it out there.... I drank last night... Made it 21 days and was so mad at my husband that I drank at him.

It certainly wasn't a great idea, I did reach out to people, but no one answered. I didn't reach out to sr like I should have, but it's over and done with.

Moving forward.....

I did, too. If I knew what to say, I would. Just want you to know you are not alone.

Guys, don't waste any time with guilt. Learn from it and move on. Learn more about what triggers you, and what works for you/doesn't work for you.

We have all slipped up, it's what you do NOW that matters.

Sorry to hear that holli. Thanks for your reply.

I'm not broken or ashamed today. It's too much energy wasted to feel like that. I'm upset that I let it happen, but I know it isn't the end of the world for me.

Fall down 7 times, get up 8

Thanks, sincerely. It's hard to quit drinking.

I admire your tenacity!

You jumped straight back up, dusted yourselves off, and back in focus.

Well done, ontherightpath and Holli xxx

ontherightpath, not a big deal, the next time is so don't! I would like you to use SR and get with one of us before it happens again! You can PM me at anytime, I might not answer right away but I will as i've been on quite a bit being stuck home on house arrest . Calm down try to enjoy the rest of Easter Weekend! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby

Thanks.... I may very well do that. I'm not beating myself up. It's been my experience in the past that when I beat myself up, I tend to end up in a couple week/month relapse. I'm not doing that. I'm back in a recovery frame of mind.

Some people have stated that their loved ones had no idea there was a problem. I believe that if this happened to me, there would be a sort of barrier to recovery. I am not saying that those who know they have a problem who never appeared to have a problem to others cannot recover... But I am saying that I don't think I would have been able to stop if my husband hadnt been acutely aware of my issues and pushed me to stop long before I knew I had a problem. It seems that it is more often the case that people who keep drinking after only a day or 2 of sobriety don't have as much incentive to stop. If you were "sick and tired of being sick and tired" you may have more success. When life is more painful, the more you drink... Then you will be able to say enough is enough. You have to want it! Really really want it! Maybe those of you who go back on the fence constantly day after day just don't want or need to quit that bad yet.

Ontherightpath and holli, if giving up alcohol were easy there would be no SR, no AA, no detox centers, no in-patient, no IOP, and on and on. It is very difficult; stick with it; learn from slips; improve your plans; add to your arsenals; you will make it.

Keep posting; we are in your corner.

I personally believe that our recoveries are strictly ours -- other people can't overcome our AVs and personal demons, only we can.

Sure Holli... Im just stating my personal view and experience. I kept drinking after this relapse because I denied to others that I was drinking so I could avoid them trying to get me to stop... Until that backfired. The backfiring is what made me say... I have to stop now! If I was left to myself, it is a toss up if i would be sober today or not. After a period of time, then I can do it for myself but this is all very personal depending on the alcoholic/addict

I had many false starts. I knew in my heart I had to stop. I had already proven to myself I had no control - but still I insisted it was going to help me feel better and cope with life. Once I convinced myself it was only going to add to my misery & anxiety I was able to let go of it.

Proud of you for admitting what happened & continuing on with new resolve. You can do this.

Welcome back you guys :)

Look at what happened and why and think of ways you could have handled it better.

Think of things you can add to what you've been doing - more support, more lifestyle changes?

D

I think a lot of people have this idea- subconscious or not -that as long as they hold it together and remain 'functional', there's no problem, and that they have to hit some kind of devastating bottom before they quit.

I believed that then - right up until the end, even when I was drinking all day everyday, I was 'not that bad'.

Having been through it I firmly believe bottom is a decision not an event. You can stop whenever you like...

and I'm really pleased to see more and more people here thinking about their problem before they lose everything like I did :)

As for other people knowing or not, Captain, I think the only person who needs to know in order for change to occur is us.

If we make our recovery dependent on other people, I think not only are we putting a lot of responsibility onto someone else for what needs to be be our job, but we also leave ourselves an 'out' should that person 'fail us'.

D

Good job on getting right back on that wagon and not letting a one relapse turn into anything more.

Ontherightpath and Holli, glad to see you're here! It does no good to dwell on the past and today is a new day. :)

Yes, absolutely true.

Being held accountable by a husband/wife might help considerably in the early days and months, but I know for me it would not have lasted. I had to do it for me, no question.

sometimes what is so convincing for us
is a temporary return to the pit
as we realize
getting tired of crawling out from here
finding out that it's just much easier staying sober
MM

Hey! Let's just say that my husband is well aware of the problem. I don't sneak around. He would like me to be a normal drinker too.... Last night I was normal. But so what? Quite pathetic to think that drinking without consequences on one occasion is anything to get excited about.

I drank last night to make him mad. Or hurt his feelings. It didn't work. All he said was, why are u drinking wine, followed by don't drink it. To which I replied-- what does it really matter? And so I had a couple glasses-- slightly buzzed. And have felt like crap all day. Physically speaking.

Emotionally speaking? I'm ok. Really. Completely
Accepting and very aware of what went wrong and what I should do different. The worst part is that I had to reset my day counter :/

I'm very aware that recovery is a 24/7 job and I let my guard down. I haven't felt the need to drink again. And I don't foresee needing a drink tomorrow. Although, tomorrow will require attention when tomorrow comes. I have another drunk in me, I'm just not sure that I have another recovery.

I consider myself lucky to have gotten by last night. Today is a new day, and it's almost over. So, on that note, I'm getting ready for bed. Thanks for being here!