Might as well....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
If you are doing things to intentionally make your husband angry, you might ask yourself whether that is more likely to help or harm the quality of your marriage. In my own relationships, when I've found myself deliberately antagonizing my partner it has always been a bad idea on multiple levels.
Good job on 21 days though! Relapse kind of sucks, but hopefully you learned something that helps you avoid one down the road. Everything's a process, life is analog.
Good job on 21 days though! Relapse kind of sucks, but hopefully you learned something that helps you avoid one down the road. Everything's a process, life is analog.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Lost in the midwest
Posts: 443
Originally Posted by Notmyrealname 
If you are doing things to intentionally make your husband angry, you might ask yourself whether that is more likely to help or harm the quality of your marriage. In my own relationships, when I've found myself deliberately antagonizing my partner it has always been a bad idea on multiple levels. Good job on 21 days though! Relapse kind of sucks, but hopefully you learned something that helps you avoid one down the road. Everything's a process, life is analog.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Originally Posted by ontherightpath
Might as well put it out there.... I drank last night... Made it 21 days and was so mad at my husband that I drank at him.
It certainly wasn't a great idea, I did reach out to people, but no one answered. I didn't reach out to sr like I should have, but it's over and done with.
Moving forward.....
It certainly wasn't a great idea, I did reach out to people, but no one answered. I didn't reach out to sr like I should have, but it's over and done with.
Moving forward.....
Hang in there. You know now that it will probably be a trigger for you too. You did great jumping back on the wagon.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,544
for some reason I am only able to reply but just by typing and getting things off my chest helps 
I've learned to rely upon myself for the most part. I know that I am a strong person! If I would of saw your post, I would of tried to help. I never let anyone decide for me what I should do. I was married to a AH and the only way for me to not drink was to get out ....and I did just that! I liked my wine a bit too much! Now I find myself being satisfied with the non-alcoholic drinks. There just as SWEET!!!!! Wish me luck, believe me there are times I want to drink again too 
I've learned to rely upon myself for the most part. I know that I am a strong person! If I would of saw your post, I would of tried to help. I never let anyone decide for me what I should do. I was married to a AH and the only way for me to not drink was to get out ....and I did just that! I liked my wine a bit too much! Now I find myself being satisfied with the non-alcoholic drinks. There just as SWEET!!!!! Wish me luck, believe me there are times I want to drink again too 
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Originally Posted by CaptainPolaris
Some people have stated that their loved ones had no idea there was a problem. I believe that if this happened to me, there would be a sort of barrier to recovery. I am not saying that those who know they have a problem who never appeared to have a problem to others cannot recover... But I am saying that I don't think I would have been able to stop if my husband hadnt been acutely aware of my issues and pushed me to stop long before I knew I had a problem. It seems that it is more often the case that people who keep drinking after only a day or 2 of sobriety don't have as much incentive to stop. If you were "sick and tired of being sick and tired" you may have more success. When life is more painful, the more you drink... Then you will be able to say enough is enough. You have to want it! Really really want it! Maybe those of you who go back on the fence constantly day after day just don't want or need to quit that bad yet.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 84
Originally Posted by LoveMeNow
Yet, in another post, you admitted to still taking pain pills although you have struggled with opiate addiction in the past and have had a recent alcohol relapse. So how exactly has your husband's support helped? For many, the thrill of getting away with it is much a part of the addiction.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Technically, you are right but alcohol has caused a great deal of problems in my life. Opiates havent. Im not on heroin. It is hydrocodone and on occasion tramadol (not a true opiate). They do not make me perform poorly or really damage my judgement like alcohol at times did.
This is really bad addictive justification Captain.
There's many other medical people here who can tell you stories of careers destroyed by denial and illicit addictive opiate use.
You're adding booze onto that....
Until you're honest with yourself you're *really* making the road a rough one for yourself.
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 84
Originally Posted by Dee74
I have to be honest.
This is really bad addictive justification Captain.
There's many other medical people here who can tell you stories of careers destroyed by denial and illicit addictive opiate use.
You're adding booze onto that....
Until you're honest with yourself you're *really* making the road a rough one for yourself.
D
This is really bad addictive justification Captain.
There's many other medical people here who can tell you stories of careers destroyed by denial and illicit addictive opiate use.
You're adding booze onto that....
Until you're honest with yourself you're *really* making the road a rough one for yourself.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
I used to think that I drank to cope with issues and stress. The reality was that I drank to escape. The more I drank to escape, the less capable I was of dealing with stress. Breaking this cycle is one of the hardest parts of getting through the early days.
In early sobriety it sometimes is best to simply walk away from situations that push us towards being overwhelmed. Our attention spans are not great, mood swings are common, and our memories are shot. Give yourself a few weeks and your head will begin to clear - until that time, take it easy on yourself. When we get overwhelmed, our knee jerk response usually leads us right back to where we started.
The truth is, this is something that never goes entirely away - we always need to be conscious of how well we are coping and know when to simply put an issue on ice until we are ready to deal with it.
In early sobriety it sometimes is best to simply walk away from situations that push us towards being overwhelmed. Our attention spans are not great, mood swings are common, and our memories are shot. Give yourself a few weeks and your head will begin to clear - until that time, take it easy on yourself. When we get overwhelmed, our knee jerk response usually leads us right back to where we started.
The truth is, this is something that never goes entirely away - we always need to be conscious of how well we are coping and know when to simply put an issue on ice until we are ready to deal with it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Lost in the midwest
Posts: 443
I'm tired dee! Couldn't go to bed til the hubby got done assailing the new basket ball hoop for the kids.... I was helping as much as possible lol..... Anyways, late to bed early to rise! Thanks for asking.... Over all I am well
Sober Today
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 779
ontehrightpath - that question "what does it really matter?" was coming from your AV. Mine does the same:
"Who cares anyway!?" - well, my kids for one. And all the people who are subjected to me when I'm drunk
"What does it matter?" - well, it matters because I'm an alcoholic and dancing with the devil
"Big deal! It's legal" - doesn't make it a good idea and it's a very big deal
"I deserve it!" - I don't deserve to be poisoned
etc etc
"Who cares anyway!?" - well, my kids for one. And all the people who are subjected to me when I'm drunk
"What does it matter?" - well, it matters because I'm an alcoholic and dancing with the devil
"Big deal! It's legal" - doesn't make it a good idea and it's a very big deal
"I deserve it!" - I don't deserve to be poisoned
etc etc
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Lost in the midwest
Posts: 443
Yeah gande.... I recognize that now at the time I totally thought it was justifiable. Thankfully I snapped back quickly that AV is a sneaky little thing.
I am so thankful to have a place to go where others can relate!
at the time I totally thought it was justifiable. Thankfully I snapped back quickly that AV is a sneaky little thing. I am so thankful to have a place to go where others can relate!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
