SkyBlueSky

I am tired of this. I keep working up the will power, avoiding drinking situations, but I find myself going on "auto-pilot" - going to the liquor store, getting a 6 pack, drinking the 6 pack. I wait until my buzz is gone, then it's back to the liquor store for 2 tall boys of Icehouse. I almost don't realize I am doing it. Short of having friends lock me in my room, I don't know how to avoid my "auto-pilot" mode.

sugarbear1

We have will power. How much do you want to stop and stay stopped? The first week is a struggle, but doable.

Depending on your needs, there are several methods to use to stay stopped.

We're here to support you!!

Ghostlight1

Yeah, that was hrad for me, too. What I found works for me is thinking of what that beer is going to do to me and the ramifications.
I had to change my life to get off auto-pilot. Do what you need to do to break the habit. There's a whole world out there to explore, now that I've found that out after three years sober.

Best to you.

mirage

Since this feels like "auto-pilot", it sounds like you need to learn and practice a lot of self awareness. You're making the choice to go get the beer, so as you're getting your shoes on...stop. Just stop, place your hands on your stomach, think, and talk to yourself. Ask yourself, outloud.."what's wrong? How am I feeling? How will beers help? Am I running from something? Am I physically craving it?", etc. Try to figure out what's going on with your body and your mind and why you're making the decision to drink. You may go get the beer anyway. Don't beat yourself up about it. You're strengthening that muscle of being self aware and you'll get better at it, and you can learn to identify what's triggering you to need that drink. When you can understand better what's driving you, you can change those habits. You can say to yourself, 'ok, I'm feeling like I need a beer, but what I really need is...(quiet, a nap, some food, distraction, someone to talk to', etc.) Sobriety takes practice! haha Sobriety IS practice!
Don't give up, come here a lot. You'll get it, and you'll be so glad you did.

totfit

Go somewhere else. Seriously, just plan on doing something else.

Thepatman

What is helping me right now in early recovery is a trick someone wise once put here on SR. It's called playing the tape.

Play the tape in your mind of acting on your impulse, getting the beer, going back for more, and how you will feel tomorrow morning. Hungover, guilty, feeling like impending doom etc.

Once you finish playing the tape, the urge will appear a lot less attractive

FeelingGreat

Hi SBS, you might be a candidate for inpatient rehab.
Barring that go online and look up what alcohol is doing to your body, and what life will be like as you progress. It's not pretty.
If you join AA you should get some numbers to call when you feel like this.

MIRecovery

For me the first step was admitting to myself that my drinking had to end and that I was willing to do anything to make it end.

The second step was going to intensive outpatient therapy

The third step was going to AA which I continue today

songthread

Best of luck SkyBlueSky and welcome to SR! I know you can do this. Reading here daily helps me in my sobriety and recovery. Glad you are here, too. Is your name a reference to Sky Blue Sky by Wilco? Just curious. Jeff Tweedy is one of my sober heroes.

During my first few days of sobriety it was strange how I, without even realizing it, would automatically drive up to my usual store on the way home from work to get beer. Then I would remember how important it was not to drink and what I was grateful for and not buy alcohol. Instead I bought club soda and san pellegrino sparkling mineral water. It's good to finally be hydrated after years of being drunk. I live moment by moment and remember the things and people I'm grateful for in my life. I read your gratitude list that you posted recently and it was inspiring. Thanks! I wish you the best.

SkyBlueSky

It is indeed a reference. Shamefully I enjoyed the record all strung out, but not it gives me a modicum of purpose in life.

Dee74

There were a million moments between me deciding 'eff it'...going out, waiting for the bus, riding the bus, getting off the bus, walking to the store, making my selection and then reversing my journey back home.

My auto pilot always broke at some point, at least when I knocked the top off the bottle. if not before.

If you can't reach out for help before you go to the liquor store, at least reach out when you get back, SBS?

D

Mountainmanbob

wouldn't recommend it to anyone
while in a blackout
broke my auto-pilot by totaling our motor home into a building

please seek out the way that works for you -- other than that

much reading here on this site -- should be of great help

don't forget to use your make friends request button

MM