TonyReeceAustin

I guess you could say I am a high bottom guy. Still have the job and I have no physical signs of being a meth addict. The way I user is about once a month I literally binge so deep that I can't move and end up almost hospitalized. I don't understand it?? :-(

Dee74

Hi Tony

I was never a meth guy but I know you'll find support here.
What kinds of things have you tried to stay off meth so far?

D

TonyReeceAustin

I have tried meetings and step work to step 4. What I am realizing is that there is this arrogant apathy once the damage wears off. I hate that I don't care when it comes right to it. I have all the borderline traits and had a fatherless childhood with abuse from step father. I am the type if guy that doesn't deal with anything that bugs him and has a weak work ethic. It's like I have to change everything to do this and I'm failing

TonyReeceAustin

I want to be "me" but it's like Go from zero to panic attack if the wrong trigger hits

Dee74

I think a lot of us do have change everything - the way we were doing things doesn't work.

I was scared I'd lose me too - but instead, in getting into recovery, I found a deeper more authentic me, one that was there before the addiction began.

I'm glad I did that.

Maybe you have to learn to deal more positively with things that bug you?

D

TonyReeceAustin

Knowing what to fix and how to fix it seem to be very far from each other in my head