My first post - time to quit drinking
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 49
Good Morning Joe,
I hope by now you've finished your last few beers and are ready to quit. First things first. Don't go buy any more today. As you know, you've got to start somewhere and if your experiences with detox are anything like mine, you're in for a rough week ahead. But it will pass.
You sound a lot like the kind of drinker I was. I was a binge drinker. Hit it heavy, pretty much all day every day for 7-8 days and then go cold turkey when I'd be too physically ill to drink any more. Then the God awful detox. No sleep, night sweats, high BP, shakes, nausea, dizziness, the whole works. I'd typically make it 2-3 weeks sober and off to the races I'd go again. Over and over. I guess it was Albert Einstein who said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.
From 2004 to the summer of 2012, I had 8.5 years of sobriety. On my will power alone, not in any 12 step program. Those were some of the best years of my life. My career was doing well, I was close with family and friends. All was good.
Then in the summer of 2012, I married a woman who is an alcoholic. Shortly after we met I found myself with a drink in my hand and we became drinking buddies. I kept it under control for all of about 2-3 weeks and pretty soon I was back into my old pattern of binge drinking. Fast forward to August of 2013, I was arrested on a DWI charge. I blew a .29 BAC. I don't remember much of anything until coming to in jail that night.
That afternoon of August 19, 2013 was the last drink I've had. I've gotten through the court case. Did 45 days in jail as a result. Have 4 years of probation to deal with and high costs of fines, etc.
My alcoholic wife, soon to be ex-wife and I separated in December 2013. We both got sober on August 19, but without alcohol fueling our relationship, things went steadily downhill. I suspect she's back to drinking again now that we are separated, but I'm sure when she's totally ready, she'll quit. The alternative for her is more pain and likely early death.
She had been in AA for a period of ten years or so before we met. I will be eternally grateful that on August 20, 2013, she asked me to go to an AA meeting with her. I went to please her. I thought I did not need AA as I'd had a previous 8.5 years sober on my own. I enjoyed that first meeting, it wiped out a lot of pre-conceived notions I had about AA. I found that although everyone in AA had different stories, they were all pretty much the same. I went back to another meeting a few days later and within a couple of weeks my thinking had gotten to the point where I wanted to go to meetings, in fact I needed to go to meetings. I've now become a regular at meetings, 5, 6 or 7 a week. It has been great meeting so many in similar life experiences. I got a sponsor, I worked the steps.
Life has not been a piece of cake. Dealing with separation/divorce, jail time, financial stuff. Typical bad things that can happen when a drunk finally goes off the rails. When I got sober the first time without AA, I had not really experienced a bottom. My work was in high gear, alcohol had not ruined family or friend relationships and so on. But, when I picked up again, it went rapidly downhill and this time I lost plenty. In hindsight, I wish I had gone to AA that first time. Ahhhhhhh...hindsight. if only..... Maybe I would not have picked up again, right? Who knows.
I suggest you give AA a second chance. Talk to people. Meditate. Think of the harm alcohol has done to you, if only physically. Maybe you'll be like me, maybe you'll learn to like it and then end up wanting it.
Good luck to you
Peace
Scott
I hope by now you've finished your last few beers and are ready to quit. First things first. Don't go buy any more today. As you know, you've got to start somewhere and if your experiences with detox are anything like mine, you're in for a rough week ahead. But it will pass.
You sound a lot like the kind of drinker I was. I was a binge drinker. Hit it heavy, pretty much all day every day for 7-8 days and then go cold turkey when I'd be too physically ill to drink any more. Then the God awful detox. No sleep, night sweats, high BP, shakes, nausea, dizziness, the whole works. I'd typically make it 2-3 weeks sober and off to the races I'd go again. Over and over. I guess it was Albert Einstein who said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.
From 2004 to the summer of 2012, I had 8.5 years of sobriety. On my will power alone, not in any 12 step program. Those were some of the best years of my life. My career was doing well, I was close with family and friends. All was good.
Then in the summer of 2012, I married a woman who is an alcoholic. Shortly after we met I found myself with a drink in my hand and we became drinking buddies. I kept it under control for all of about 2-3 weeks and pretty soon I was back into my old pattern of binge drinking. Fast forward to August of 2013, I was arrested on a DWI charge. I blew a .29 BAC. I don't remember much of anything until coming to in jail that night.
That afternoon of August 19, 2013 was the last drink I've had. I've gotten through the court case. Did 45 days in jail as a result. Have 4 years of probation to deal with and high costs of fines, etc.
My alcoholic wife, soon to be ex-wife and I separated in December 2013. We both got sober on August 19, but without alcohol fueling our relationship, things went steadily downhill. I suspect she's back to drinking again now that we are separated, but I'm sure when she's totally ready, she'll quit. The alternative for her is more pain and likely early death.
She had been in AA for a period of ten years or so before we met. I will be eternally grateful that on August 20, 2013, she asked me to go to an AA meeting with her. I went to please her. I thought I did not need AA as I'd had a previous 8.5 years sober on my own. I enjoyed that first meeting, it wiped out a lot of pre-conceived notions I had about AA. I found that although everyone in AA had different stories, they were all pretty much the same. I went back to another meeting a few days later and within a couple of weeks my thinking had gotten to the point where I wanted to go to meetings, in fact I needed to go to meetings. I've now become a regular at meetings, 5, 6 or 7 a week. It has been great meeting so many in similar life experiences. I got a sponsor, I worked the steps.
Life has not been a piece of cake. Dealing with separation/divorce, jail time, financial stuff. Typical bad things that can happen when a drunk finally goes off the rails. When I got sober the first time without AA, I had not really experienced a bottom. My work was in high gear, alcohol had not ruined family or friend relationships and so on. But, when I picked up again, it went rapidly downhill and this time I lost plenty. In hindsight, I wish I had gone to AA that first time. Ahhhhhhh...hindsight. if only..... Maybe I would not have picked up again, right? Who knows.
I suggest you give AA a second chance. Talk to people. Meditate. Think of the harm alcohol has done to you, if only physically. Maybe you'll be like me, maybe you'll learn to like it and then end up wanting it.
Good luck to you
Peace
Scott
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: racin, win
Posts: 8
Thanks everyone for your comments. I didn't make it tonight. I had high hopes early today. I knew what I was going to feel before it came.
It's Saturday night, I don't have to work tomorrow, I can drink tonight, sleep all day tomorrow then I just won't drink tomorrow night because I work Monday.
I knew those thoughts would be coming, I just thought all I had to do was log on to SR before the thoughts came and get it out and someone who knows what it's like would help me through it.
So instead, I avoided SR and went to the store and got some beer. After all, I needed cash and the ATM charges fees for a withdrawal but cash back is no-fee at the store so I had to buy something, right? Might as well be beer. I'm so sick of making excuses. I will try again tomorrow. Can anyone relate to this?
It's Saturday night, I don't have to work tomorrow, I can drink tonight, sleep all day tomorrow then I just won't drink tomorrow night because I work Monday.
I knew those thoughts would be coming, I just thought all I had to do was log on to SR before the thoughts came and get it out and someone who knows what it's like would help me through it.
So instead, I avoided SR and went to the store and got some beer. After all, I needed cash and the ATM charges fees for a withdrawal but cash back is no-fee at the store so I had to buy something, right? Might as well be beer. I'm so sick of making excuses. I will try again tomorrow. Can anyone relate to this?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: mesa arizona
Posts: 37
It's always gunna be the last time everytime. Unless you make it the last time for real. Advise Ide give is to educate your self about the dangers. All the negatives deff outweighs the positives when you learn all the little details about how your body is being affected, it might make an impact. Just a suggestion
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 31
Originally Posted by joe176111 
Thanks everyone for your comments. I didn't make it tonight. I had high hopes early today. I knew what I was going to feel before it came.
It's Saturday night, I don't have to work tomorrow, I can drink tonight, sleep all day tomorrow then I just won't drink tomorrow night because I work Monday.
I knew those thoughts would be coming, I just thought all I had to do was log on to SR before the thoughts came and get it out and someone who knows what it's like would help me through it.
So instead, I avoided SR and went to the store and got some beer. After all, I needed cash and the ATM charges fees for a withdrawal but cash back is no-fee at the store so I had to buy something, right? Might as well be beer. I'm so sick of making excuses. I will try again tomorrow. Can anyone relate to this?
It's Saturday night, I don't have to work tomorrow, I can drink tonight, sleep all day tomorrow then I just won't drink tomorrow night because I work Monday.
I knew those thoughts would be coming, I just thought all I had to do was log on to SR before the thoughts came and get it out and someone who knows what it's like would help me through it.
So instead, I avoided SR and went to the store and got some beer. After all, I needed cash and the ATM charges fees for a withdrawal but cash back is no-fee at the store so I had to buy something, right? Might as well be beer. I'm so sick of making excuses. I will try again tomorrow. Can anyone relate to this?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: racin, win
Posts: 8
Thanks for the comment Coffeecake. You're right, I can rationalize anything if it's for a beer. And today IS a new day, but unfortunately it's Easter (which I wasn't even thinking about last night) and my family had me over and had plenty of my beer. I forgive myself and will return to SR tomorrow after work and try again. It's that dang first day of not drinking that is the worst. I will do it. Hopefully tomorrow will be it finally.
Should I be starting a new thread? How long can one go before it's old and worn out?
Should I be starting a new thread? How long can one go before it's old and worn out?
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