I drove drunk.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Portland
Posts: 1
I drove drunk.
I went to a co-workers going-away party on the 16th and drove home completely drunk. I remember certain things about the drive home-stoplights, intersections-but nothing else. I got up at 4 am and looked at my car to see if I had hit or sideswiped anything or anyone. My car was fine, but I spent most of the 17th (which happened to be my 35th birthday) waiting for the police to knock on my door. I know that may sound paranoid, but we have cameras at many of our stoplights in town and for all I know I blew through them, maybe I almost hit someone and they got my plate number. I don't know. I'm ashamed to say this isn't the first time I have driven drunk, but the other times I *remember* driving; I remember checking my speed and following traffic laws. This time I hardly remember any of it. It's embarrassing and yet, such a relief to admit it. I am so unbelievably grateful that I have not hurt anyone.
This isn't the first time have decided to stop drinking. In September of 2013 I was putting away two bottles of wine to myself every night and this had been going on for about four months. I wouldn't start drinking until dinner and would drink right up until bed-so between 6 pm and 10:30 pm I kept my wine glass full. I wasn't getting hangovers, I would just be really tired the next day. The night of September 26th, 2013 I must have drank my two bottles faster than I realized because I was in the middle of opening my third bottle when I stopped and told myself that this wasn't normal and it needed to stop. I joined SR at that time, but this is the first post I have ever written.
I was able to made it 45 days without a drink and then had a few beers. I then started drinking again; not everyday and not as much as I was before, but eventually I worked my way back up to about a bottle, maybe a bottle and a half most nights of the week. The night of the 16th I think I had about four shots and a few beers in about three hours.
I don't know the names of the people who started SR, but I am glad they did. I have talked openly to my husband, family and friends about this and they are supportive for the most part. I have a few friends that either don't believe me when I tell them how much I was drinking each night or act like it's no big deal.
Thanks for the chance to get all this off my chest.
-Plutonium
This isn't the first time have decided to stop drinking. In September of 2013 I was putting away two bottles of wine to myself every night and this had been going on for about four months. I wouldn't start drinking until dinner and would drink right up until bed-so between 6 pm and 10:30 pm I kept my wine glass full. I wasn't getting hangovers, I would just be really tired the next day. The night of September 26th, 2013 I must have drank my two bottles faster than I realized because I was in the middle of opening my third bottle when I stopped and told myself that this wasn't normal and it needed to stop. I joined SR at that time, but this is the first post I have ever written.
I was able to made it 45 days without a drink and then had a few beers. I then started drinking again; not everyday and not as much as I was before, but eventually I worked my way back up to about a bottle, maybe a bottle and a half most nights of the week. The night of the 16th I think I had about four shots and a few beers in about three hours.
I don't know the names of the people who started SR, but I am glad they did. I have talked openly to my husband, family and friends about this and they are supportive for the most part. I have a few friends that either don't believe me when I tell them how much I was drinking each night or act like it's no big deal.
Thanks for the chance to get all this off my chest.
-Plutonium
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Plutonium 
I went to a co-workers going-away party on the 16th and drove home completely drunk.
I have know some who did
believe me -- it occasionally can and does happen
MM
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Welcome Plutonium! We're so glad to have you join us. SR saved my life - the support I've always gotten here is amazing.
I drove drunk too. I'd like to say getting a dui was the end of my drinking days, but it wasn't. I continued to try & control the amounts I drank. It led to 24/7 drinking and chaos in my life. I never drove drunk again - but it took me a few years to kick it out of my life completely. It was so hard to admit I couldn't have a drop. Once I convinced myself of that I was able to let go. No more trying to moderate. I'm sure it will help with your anxiety to be able to speak your mind. It's good to have you here.
I drove drunk too. I'd like to say getting a dui was the end of my drinking days, but it wasn't. I continued to try & control the amounts I drank. It led to 24/7 drinking and chaos in my life. I never drove drunk again - but it took me a few years to kick it out of my life completely. It was so hard to admit I couldn't have a drop. Once I convinced myself of that I was able to let go. No more trying to moderate. I'm sure it will help with your anxiety to be able to speak your mind. It's good to have you here.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Plutonium ,
I think you'll be surprised how much better it is to be actively involved ; ....posting , versus passively reading.
It's sure worked that way for me.
Thanks for your post , ,...that couldn't have been easy
;;;....and welcome to SR
I think you'll be surprised how much better it is to be actively involved ; ....posting , versus passively reading.
It's sure worked that way for me.
Thanks for your post , ,...that couldn't have been easy
;;;....and welcome to SR
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Welcome Plutonium,
Myself and others here share the guilt of driving drunk in the past. You are definitely not alone - and you sound remorseful and I hope it doesn't happen again.
Drinking becomes such a normal part of every day life we perform every day tasks drunk: driving, cooking, a bike ride, heck even church or a doctor's visit - alcoholics do many of these things under the influence.
When it gets to that point, many of us did what you're doing - reach out for help. I hope you can post here more and read some of the stories, and also work on stopping this madness for good. It's not easy, but once the fog lifts I think you'll feel much better! Welcome.
Myself and others here share the guilt of driving drunk in the past. You are definitely not alone - and you sound remorseful and I hope it doesn't happen again.
Drinking becomes such a normal part of every day life we perform every day tasks drunk: driving, cooking, a bike ride, heck even church or a doctor's visit - alcoholics do many of these things under the influence.
When it gets to that point, many of us did what you're doing - reach out for help. I hope you can post here more and read some of the stories, and also work on stopping this madness for good. It's not easy, but once the fog lifts I think you'll feel much better! Welcome.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 643
Welcome and keep posting. Doing this has helped me significantly. You are in a scary place I know but it can get better. Use the support if your husband but you need to want to do this for yourself, you deserve that x
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 436
Welcome! I think most of us can say we have driven drunk at one point or another. 
Sometimes it takes something like this to really jar us into reality. I was also a wine drinker and it's amazing how quickly that 1 bottle turned into 2 and by the end I was drinking 2 large (or 4 regular size) every night.
This is a great place for support! I hope you stick around!
Sometimes it takes something like this to really jar us into reality. I was also a wine drinker and it's amazing how quickly that 1 bottle turned into 2 and by the end I was drinking 2 large (or 4 regular size) every night. This is a great place for support! I hope you stick around!
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Island Park , NY
Posts: 373
Welcome Plutonium to SR, A great place to get the support you need to maintain sobriety ! I won't go into the drinking and driving thing, i'm sure you know, but i'm sitting here with a alcohol sensing/GPS bracelet on my ankle after 54 days in jail, about $15000 paid out SO FAR, 3 years of a stranger able to walk in my house whenever they feel like it, no license for a year , probably another 3-5 thousand in fees to be paid and a lot of misc. things! Car impounded had to "BUY" it back ! Oh God how not worth it it was, Please, for your sake and your family's give it up! Come here and heal! Oh and did I mention the 75-100% surcharge on my insurance when I get to drive again, and the $1000-1500 for the ignition interlock for 6 months! Oh Joy! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Originally Posted by caboblanco
I've done the one eye open squint one time in order not to see double driving home once..scary stuff. there is not supposed to be two set of lines on the highway
This brings it back - I don't EVER want to do that again. No one should.
So welcome to the forum Plutonium. Thank your lucky stars feeling paranoid was all you felt. Handcuff are one of the most debilitating feelings in the world.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Welcome Plutonium!
That is one of many fears I had to live with too.
But now, it's one of the great things about being a non drinker. I never wake up feeling that fear and never have any fear driving home no matter what the time.
It's freedom. Total freedom. Living without fear is the best.
Glad to have you join in!
That is one of many fears I had to live with too.
But now, it's one of the great things about being a non drinker. I never wake up feeling that fear and never have any fear driving home no matter what the time.
It's freedom. Total freedom. Living without fear is the best.
Glad to have you join in!
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