Ugh :(
 

I messed up really bad last night. I've been on a downward spiral for the past few weeks. Back to every day drinking/every night really fast. I feel physically and mentally terrible and I left work in the middle of the day today because I couldn't stop crying and was having a mental breakdown. My partner is scared and trying to have an intervention on me right now, but he's out of town and I'm alone. I'm scared :( I don't even know if I'll be able to stay sober through this. God seriously help me....

Talk to us, Mrrryah; we are listening.

Mrrryah, you can stop now. Get rid of the alcohol you have in your house and don't buy anymore. Just try to relax and breathe and know that you can get through this. Stay around SR tonight and you'll get lots of support and you won't be alone. :)

What am I supposed to say

Dunno, really. Many of us have been where you are now or somewhere close. Maybe, we can help you work through the situation you are in now.

You say your partner is scared and wants to have an intervention; do you agree that inpatient or out- patient therapy would be helpful?

I have a really good job that I'm seriously lucky to have. I can't go back to treatment. I have a lot to lose if I do. I mean a lot.

If you continue to drink as you have been, you have a lot more to lose than your job. It's already affecting your ability to work as evidenced by having to leave early today.

There are other options besides treatment, but first and foremost you've got to stop drinking. Did you need to have a supervised detox before treatment last time?

Mrrryah, you don't have to go back to treatment. you can quit drinking. What do you do for support? Stick around SR, post and read and don't pick up the first drink.

we are here for you.

Love from Lenina

I have needed supervised detox in the past but I don't right now. I know my body well enough to know that I can make it through this. The quantity hasn't been great enough for it to be super dangerous or anything.

Make sure someone knows who can help if you need it - especially if your partner is out of town and you are alone. We're all here to help too, but we can't physically be there if you need it.

Mrrryrah I know it means little to you. As much as I meant at my work I ended up being just another number on the balance sheet. I lost a career that paid very well. Now I am starting over. And it's all because I couldn't put down the drink.
All I was afraid of because I didn't want them to know turned out to be wasted energy. Because they found out. And it wasn't pretty.

I know but I also don't think treatment is the answer. I'm more of an AA believer and lots of low bottom drunks sobered up without treatment and maintained jobs

I'm sure there's an AA meeting you could find this afternoon or evening. What a better way to spend an hour than with others who are facing exactly the same issues you are? Especially if you are alone for the day, give it a go.

I'm gonna go to one tonight

Sounds like a great plan. SR is open 24x7 too so just log on if you need to.

I hope the meeting helps you. Get rid of the alcohol in your house and don't get any more. Promise yourself you'll stay sober for today. Think about tomorrow when it gets here. :hug:

I'm glad you're hitting a meeting mrryah. Don't be afraid to ask for help :)
With a little support, you can get through this, and back on track.