Ethical?
 

Is it bad to lie to get away from events that involve alcohol? I have lied like at least 5 times to get out of work events that have alcohol.

It's kept me sober... I don't necessarily feel like a champ lying, but I have to stay sober. It's my number 1 priority.

think I would work on being honest with the ones at work
for now I'm not drinking
probably best that I do not attend
at least until I get my steady sober legs
MM

There's no need to make up stories, but there is also no need to share your personal problems with your colleagues.

I would think the following could give you cover, and I would normally not consider them lies:

"I'm not up to it tonight."
"I have other plans."
"I have some things I need to take care of at home."

Better to live a long Sober life than have a life cut short due to alcohol!!

What will people say? "he died early due to alcohol, but he was a very honest person!!"

I wouldn't worry about it too much!! :)

"I'm not drinking at the moment so I'll stay away from temptation."

justinJustQuit, you are a champ Justin you are sober. I would lie if it helped me stay sober, rootin for ya. :egypt:

They talk about being honest in recovery
and telling a lie would not be honest. It
takes practice and new ways to get out
of lieing. I know because I had to do it.

Id say to myself, okay there is a function
at work, I don't want to go, so how do I
get out of going and not have to lie to anyone,
because if I do so, id have to return to make
amends. And oh how I don't like to apologize
or confrontations.

Sooooo.....if I have a doctors appointment
that day, id don't have to lie. If my kids
have a function at school, that's not a lie.
Some maybe half truths, but not a full blown
out lie. :)

People at work don't need to know all my
personal business and so they don't know
if recovery is a part of it.

Make an appointment for ur pet if needed
to not lie. Going to a doctors appointment
or check up can be used to say instead of
going to a meeting. They don't need to know
exactly what appointment u r going to.

Just saying the word appointment can mean
all kinds of things. And going a meeting is
like going to a doctors appointment, or theraphy
to get your daily dose of recovery to remain
sober. :)

Use suggestions or words that mean about
the same thing that's not a lie. If that makes
sense.

If others have examples for you then they
can share them to help you learn not to lie
and have to make those uncomfortable amends
for lieing. :)

Yes, it's the lesser of two evils

I like what BradJustBrad said. There is no need to lie, I think. You can just express your preference as a fact. Who can argue with that, especially given that not drinking has no unhealthy, negative, or dangerous connotation? Not in the "world" you probably want to be in.

Them: What would you like to drink - beer, wine, spirits?
Me: Just a Coke thanks - I don't drink

Them: oh! why not?
Me:It's never agreed with me.
Them: oh, ok..... conversation moves on...

Most times people don't even ask 'why not' Justin :)
It might seem like a big deal now, but it's really not.

D

Again - this is all very helpful - Justin - you are helping out not only yourself on this one, but many others like me with this "problem" we have to face at one point in time or another. Great advice here for many of us.

Thank you for bringing up a concern that needs to be addressed and dealt with.

Be sure to let us know how it goes. I'm sure it will feel like it did when I told my brother 11 days ago that I was an alcoholic and I needed his help - emotional, borderline stressful thinking about it in advance, and a huge weight off my shoulders once I did.

Take care and be well!

More on this. I have a coworker from India who never drinks, and apparently never in her life tasted alcohol for traditional/spiritual reasons. I often watch her behavior to try and gain ideas how to handle it... She is one of the most social individuals in our closer and also larger team. Attends gatherings whenever she can. She's also a wonderful cook and often brings home-made Indian goodies for the group. No one has ever given much thought about why she does not drink alcohol. She's often offered some, and just says "no thank you". No disadvantage in any way, really.