Confused
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
Confused
On May 1st I will be at six months.
My mom confuses me greatly. Some days she is screaming and shouting at me, and then today she smiled at me and said "I am glad you are doing well".
My therapist keeps asking if I am going to keep panicking every time she has one of her moods, because then I will be panicking an awful lot of the time.
This morning I went to see my addictions therapist. I asked him if he had any Easter plans and he said "my plan is to relax and keep my kids from killing each other" lol. As I was leaving I thanked him for his help and he said "oh no problem and I am so happy you are doing so well".
I am so happy I am sober. I always thought that there was something wrong with me, but there isn't really. There is nothing to be afraid of. All of that awful fear was in my own head. I was torturing myself over absolutely nothing. And there are so many people who have things a lot worse than I do. My cousin for example is in a psychiatric hospital and on a leave of absence from her job. I always thought she had it made, nice husband, good job but she was being bullied behind the scenes. We may live in the year 2014, but there are some men out there who do not like having a female boss. She will be fine after a good rest. My aunt said that the first week she kept saying that "this place is so slow. They are doing nothing for me" but now she is participating in yoga and all the classes. She just needed to slow down...
My new rule is not to panic over things that are beyond my control. My parents for example. All I can do is try to be the best I can be. This includes staying sober. Sometimes my dad brings me a cup of tea in the morning. He leans over to give me a kiss. I can see his face relax when he doesn't get the smell of drink.
Today I had an appointment with this lady to look over my CV. She said "it's not bad, just needs to be sexed up a lot". I was thinking "what does that mean?" Anyway, I am so happy to be sober and I can start my new life. My brother is coming home for a few days to discuss his wedding and we are going out for dinner. I finally feel like a valuable and normal member of society.
I hope you all have a happy Easter x
My mom confuses me greatly. Some days she is screaming and shouting at me, and then today she smiled at me and said "I am glad you are doing well".
My therapist keeps asking if I am going to keep panicking every time she has one of her moods, because then I will be panicking an awful lot of the time.
This morning I went to see my addictions therapist. I asked him if he had any Easter plans and he said "my plan is to relax and keep my kids from killing each other" lol. As I was leaving I thanked him for his help and he said "oh no problem and I am so happy you are doing so well".
I am so happy I am sober. I always thought that there was something wrong with me, but there isn't really. There is nothing to be afraid of. All of that awful fear was in my own head. I was torturing myself over absolutely nothing. And there are so many people who have things a lot worse than I do. My cousin for example is in a psychiatric hospital and on a leave of absence from her job. I always thought she had it made, nice husband, good job but she was being bullied behind the scenes. We may live in the year 2014, but there are some men out there who do not like having a female boss. She will be fine after a good rest. My aunt said that the first week she kept saying that "this place is so slow. They are doing nothing for me" but now she is participating in yoga and all the classes. She just needed to slow down...
My new rule is not to panic over things that are beyond my control. My parents for example. All I can do is try to be the best I can be. This includes staying sober. Sometimes my dad brings me a cup of tea in the morning. He leans over to give me a kiss. I can see his face relax when he doesn't get the smell of drink.
Today I had an appointment with this lady to look over my CV. She said "it's not bad, just needs to be sexed up a lot". I was thinking "what does that mean?" Anyway, I am so happy to be sober and I can start my new life. My brother is coming home for a few days to discuss his wedding and we are going out for dinner. I finally feel like a valuable and normal member of society.
I hope you all have a happy Easter x
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