Back at it again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 17
Back at it again
Hey guys,
I've been in recovery for about a year and a half now. I strictly an opiate lover. I had no idea that I could go through life without using until I went to rehab in dec 2012. I got out and put together around 6 months (had suboxone to help) and relapsed when I got back with my gf (great idea that was...) For about the last year it's been a couple of months clean and then a month relapse, rinse and repeat...
I've been very unhappy these last few months. I know me using is the main part of it. I'm active in the rooms and volunteer and have a decent support network. Half of the time I don't tell them I've gone out and used.
Even with me using, I've managed to progress and start picking up the pieces of my life. I'm not doing a great job, but it's some progress. But, I'm ready to quit. I quit for so many other people's reasons, quit for my family, quit for my gf (thinking our relationship would be repaired if I stopped), and whatever else. But I never stopped once to think about stopping and living MY life.
So here I am, at day 3. I have been tapering for the last two weeks or so. I don't have any major withdrawal symptoms, which is unexpected. I knew it wasnt going to be bed ridden hell, but I knew it wasn't going to be a walk in the park. I do have a battery of OTC meds to help me, however. I guess I have been waiting for the withdrawal symptoms to start kicking in, but since I'm at day 3 I think I'm at the peak, and frankly, I don't feel that bad. I have pains, foggy mind and some depression, but I keep telling myself this is the last time I'm going to go through this. That's keeping my spirits high. I'm going about my day like I normally would, driving, walking around on campus, studying in the library, etc. I think this is helping tremendously. The depression isn't me - it is caused by the drugs.
I just wanted to say hey, and I'm glad I found this community. I feel like I'll be able to be honest here as I am able to hide behind my keyboard. I'm just looking forward to the lethargy and fogginess to end. I have been obsessing about quitting when I was tapering and haven't been able to focus on much else really. Like, life has stopped and my number one priority is to STOP and stayed stopped. I'm tired of going back and forth. I need to put this behind me while I can and move forward with my life goals.
Thanks..
I've been in recovery for about a year and a half now. I strictly an opiate lover. I had no idea that I could go through life without using until I went to rehab in dec 2012. I got out and put together around 6 months (had suboxone to help) and relapsed when I got back with my gf (great idea that was...) For about the last year it's been a couple of months clean and then a month relapse, rinse and repeat...
I've been very unhappy these last few months. I know me using is the main part of it. I'm active in the rooms and volunteer and have a decent support network. Half of the time I don't tell them I've gone out and used.
Even with me using, I've managed to progress and start picking up the pieces of my life. I'm not doing a great job, but it's some progress. But, I'm ready to quit. I quit for so many other people's reasons, quit for my family, quit for my gf (thinking our relationship would be repaired if I stopped), and whatever else. But I never stopped once to think about stopping and living MY life.
So here I am, at day 3. I have been tapering for the last two weeks or so. I don't have any major withdrawal symptoms, which is unexpected. I knew it wasnt going to be bed ridden hell, but I knew it wasn't going to be a walk in the park. I do have a battery of OTC meds to help me, however. I guess I have been waiting for the withdrawal symptoms to start kicking in, but since I'm at day 3 I think I'm at the peak, and frankly, I don't feel that bad. I have pains, foggy mind and some depression, but I keep telling myself this is the last time I'm going to go through this. That's keeping my spirits high. I'm going about my day like I normally would, driving, walking around on campus, studying in the library, etc. I think this is helping tremendously. The depression isn't me - it is caused by the drugs.
I just wanted to say hey, and I'm glad I found this community. I feel like I'll be able to be honest here as I am able to hide behind my keyboard. I'm just looking forward to the lethargy and fogginess to end. I have been obsessing about quitting when I was tapering and haven't been able to focus on much else really. Like, life has stopped and my number one priority is to STOP and stayed stopped. I'm tired of going back and forth. I need to put this behind me while I can and move forward with my life goals.
Thanks..
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Good for you for getting through Day 3!
And, try to keep in mind that recovery means more than just stopping using the drugs. It means making other positive changes in your life, too.
I'm glad you found us!
And, try to keep in mind that recovery means more than just stopping using the drugs. It means making other positive changes in your life, too.
I'm glad you found us!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Good to see you OverTheUnder,
It's good to know you think you can go through life without using. It's best to know you can go throughout life without using. One is temporary, the other is forever.
Good luck. Welcome. Get the support you need to make this stick.
It's good to know you think you can go through life without using. It's best to know you can go throughout life without using. One is temporary, the other is forever.
Good luck. Welcome. Get the support you need to make this stick.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: NJ
Posts: 7
Sounds similar to me, strictly opiates (oxycodon), and then subs to help get off back and forth. I didn't feel bad for the 1st 2 days but even though I didn't have much sub use in the last few months I still believe that's what stretched out the WD because day 5 was the worst. But I'm day 7 now and it's getting better. Good luck it will be worth it, that's what I keep telling myself.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
Hi Overtheunder,
I tapered off opiates, too, though it took me 3 weeks. I felt worse over the course of those weeks than I did after I stopped entirely, which was not what I expected either. It's been so helpful to have this place for support. I'm glad you're here.
I tapered off opiates, too, though it took me 3 weeks. I felt worse over the course of those weeks than I did after I stopped entirely, which was not what I expected either. It's been so helpful to have this place for support. I'm glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,469
I had 5+ years and relapsed after a surgery on opiates.
One of the hardest things for me was coming clean with my home group. I finally did and wow!!! I felt so loved and supported.
I'm now in day 85 and I'm realizing that my sobriety date does not define me
One of the hardest things for me was coming clean with my home group. I finally did and wow!!! I felt so loved and supported.
I'm now in day 85 and I'm realizing that my sobriety date does not define me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by Adnamaeel 
Hi Overtheunder,
I tapered off opiates, too, though it took me 3 weeks. I felt worse over the course of those weeks than I did after I stopped entirely, which was not what I expected either. It's been so helpful to have this place for support. I'm glad you're here.
I tapered off opiates, too, though it took me 3 weeks. I felt worse over the course of those weeks than I did after I stopped entirely, which was not what I expected either. It's been so helpful to have this place for support. I'm glad you're here.
Woke up this morning feel really good actually. Still not 100% but a lot better than I would have expected. For the last two days I've been fearing that the WD is going to hit at any hour and knock me on my ass. It hasn't happened, and I suppose it won't. I wasn't back out using for long or much so obviously that has something to do with all of this.
Looking forward to move on and forward with my life. Thanks guys. It's nice to have found a place where I can come post and read about what's on my mind. I've read some great stuff on here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 17
Made it through another day and night. I just keep looking forward knowing the next morning when I wake up I'll feel a little better than the current morning.
No cravings either. I haven't gotten high in so long despite using. I was just wasting money to feel normal. I finally got it through my head (for today anyhow) that the high isn't worth it anymore. I used to build it up in my head that the high was going to feel great. And it doesn't. I didn't realize how depressed and anxious I was when using. Living in fear.
Ill take the peace and happiness over getting high today.
No cravings either. I haven't gotten high in so long despite using. I was just wasting money to feel normal. I finally got it through my head (for today anyhow) that the high isn't worth it anymore. I used to build it up in my head that the high was going to feel great. And it doesn't. I didn't realize how depressed and anxious I was when using. Living in fear.
Ill take the peace and happiness over getting high today.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 970
Great to hear you`re doing SO well, OTU ! I completely agree - a COMPLETE waste of $$$, not to mention time for absolutely NO benefit ! Like you said, you don`t even get high anymore - that`s the great big lie that our addicted brains tell us to trick us into feeding it again ! No more - you see right through that now and it can`t suck you in anymore because you KNOW the truth now ! Right on, you`ve started your bright, new shiny Life ! Congratulations !
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 17
Thanks for the support guys. It's 3 am and not remotely tired. The lack of sleeping pattern has been the worst. Got about 4 hours of sleep last night and thought I'd be tired once midnight rolled around.
Went to a meeting tonight. Going to one in the AM as well. For some reason I'm starting to hear more of what people say and believe what they say. I didn't believe a lot of what they said. Especially the 'it gets better' part.
I'm at day 5 and feel like I'm over the worst. Hadn't had 5 days in a few months.
Went to a meeting tonight. Going to one in the AM as well. For some reason I'm starting to hear more of what people say and believe what they say. I didn't believe a lot of what they said. Especially the 'it gets better' part.
I'm at day 5 and feel like I'm over the worst. Hadn't had 5 days in a few months.
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