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Old 06-30-2004, 06:19 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Hey whoever is out there. I am so new at this. I have never been on a forum before or chatted with anyone on the internet. I am 23 and not really sure what i am doing. i am a pothead first off. i don't drink or smoke cigs, but for some reason i started smoking pot at 18 and haven't been able to quit yet. i hate the way it makes me feel. The demotivation, anxiety, inability to focus or concentrate.

I am trying very hard to stay away from it and found you guys. hope to get to know you all.
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Old 06-30-2004, 06:26 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome again Lizzy!
My name is Dan, and I'm a drug addict. Clean now though
Lots of ways to stop using. What worked for me was finally accepting I couldn't do it alone. I found a recovery program and started attending meetings. It's called Narcotics Anonymous.
As for this place called SoberRecovery, it's one of a kind.
Lot's of folks are going to come over and say hello.
Glad you're here.
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Old 06-30-2004, 06:31 PM   #3 (permalink)
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WELCOME LIZZY,I'M TED ALCOHOLIC/ADDICT.YOU'VE FOUND A GREAT PLACE HERE AT SR.TOP OF THE LINE FOLKS.LOOK AROUND MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME,SPILL THE BEANS,WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER....ted
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Old 06-30-2004, 06:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
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hey guys. how's everything going? Thanks for being supportive. i finally settled and just started my own thread. like i said, been smoking for a while and today is day 2 of not smoking. not something i am able to do really easily. amazing how people say pot is not addictive. my husband is one of those that sees nothing wrong with it so it's not easy to talk to him about all of this. which is fine, because in all honesty this is something i need to do on my own without feeling i can't do it without him. do you guys know where the serenity prayer is derived from that they say at AA and NA meetings? is is in the Bible or elsewhere?

anyhow, i hate the long term effects of pot. initially it's great. when i am angry or scared or just emotionally frazzled, i can smoke and chill out. you know how it is, everything is "okay". but the after effects, the laziness, not being able to deal with a situation without it, munchies, etc. make me really hate the dependence that i have. i don't like to drink (alcohol tastes like crap to me), and i feel the same about cigarettes. both of these things i did heavily a few years ago when in college and afterwards until i had children and settled down. i just never could give up the bud.
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Old 06-30-2004, 08:00 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi Lizzy I'm an alcoholic and my name is Rowan. It's good to have you here.
You've taken an important first step on the road to recovery. Hope to hear
from you more in here. Keep coming back.
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Old 06-30-2004, 10:08 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Lizzy,
Hi girlie..."one is too many and a thousand are never enough!!" I am 44 yrs old and
just made it back to the rooms of NA from a 4 yr relapse...mine was the same drug of
choice and until I became willing to surrender from the grips of that drug, I could not make it back...I came to NA in 1994 and put together over five years abstinance from
all drugs...even gave up cigarettes for 8 months...today I have around 32 days clean...and serene...dont give up!! Just dont pick up today...then try it again tomorrow...let my relapse help you understand that it only gets worse...the anxiety, the paranoia, etc....I love ya and keep coming back!
Denise R.
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Old 06-30-2004, 10:53 PM   #7 (permalink)
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about to go to bed and hoping to stay sober until then. normally i would smoke and that would help me pass out. Without smoking i feel awake, which actually isn't bad considering that i never really feel 'awake'. i haven't gone without smoking for so long that i don't know what my mind will feel like not all jumbled up. will the anxiety go away, will i be able to concentrate more, will i have more energy? i sure hope so. right now i am running on fumes. i have a family to take care of and it's a little hard to do that when all i want to do is sleep, sleep, sleep. i sleep at least 9 hours at night and then nap frequently during the day. although lately i am keeping myself busy and refusing to take naps.

i hate the hold that pot has over me. i want to smoke right now but i refuse to give into the craving. i don't want it to have control over me. i want me to have control over me. it keeps my focus on it instead of everything else. it's like tunnel vision and all i see, smell, or taste is pot. anyhow, going into day 3. yea!!

anyone i know that smokes doesn't want to quit, those that have quit only did it when they were in their teens, and those that don't do it really don't understand.

thanks guys,
Audra
p.s. thanks Denise and Rowan
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Old 06-30-2004, 11:01 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Welcome Lizzy
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Old 06-30-2004, 11:47 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Welome to SR, lizzy

Push the buttons, poke around. Make yourself comfy! Congrats on your first day.
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Old 07-01-2004, 12:23 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Don't be like me

Hi Lizzy, I have been a pothead since 1972 or so..and please don't do what I've done. I have been in treatments and MA,AA and NA off and on since 1991. Had some success for short periods of time, but because I didn't make Recovery my priority, I failed..

Today I had one hit off an apple as I throw away my pipe. I have been suffering with this problem for so long. All that you have said is true..don't be like me and take the easy out and stay in a comfort zone..(no matter how ashamed you feel).

My children all have relationship problems and addictions. I lost a full term baby when my plancenta rupured and the night I felt the pain from it..I was stoned..so I didn't go to the ER. The next morning I did.but it was too late. I don't like to remember that or other things that happened in my life because of my addiction to pot.

Please help me by doing what I am going to do..starting now..I know what to expect from withdraw. It is so worth it. I will stop now and with the support of this network I know I have a good chance. Keep it up girl, I am going to go with you and I need this so bad...

Last edited by needtogrowup; 07-01-2004 at 12:29 AM. Reason: left out a word
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Old 07-01-2004, 12:36 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Welcome!!

Hi Lizzie,

You are on the right track! You have admitted to yourself that there is a problem. You are aware that you don't like the direction your life is taking and you made the effort to find a safe place to be honest. That's a HUGE step in itself! I made the same step about two weeks ago. Not to say that it's been easy, I've struggled, failed, succeeded, and struggled some more. The one thought that I would like to share with you as you begin your journey on the road to sobriety is this, "Don't put the vehicle on auto- pilot!" I've noticed that it's the lack of making a concious decison that has been the most difficult thing to overcome. It only takes a moment to think through what you're about to do- or not do. It's all about YOU making a choice rather than your lack of control making the choice for you. Oh, one more thing...If you slip, fall, fail...whatever you want to call it- DON'T BEAT UP ON YOURSELF!!! Guilt is an emotion that will push you right to the place you don't want to go. Get up, dust yourself off, and try again...just like riding a bike!!
Best Wishes!
Lynnette
Feel free to send me a private message anytime and I will do my best to get back to you ASAP
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Old 07-01-2004, 12:49 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Welcome hope today is a good one for you.
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Old 07-01-2004, 01:49 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Lizzy and Needtogrowup....It Can Be Done...I have smoked since I was 14...I am now 44 ...in 1994 I came to NA and managed to put five years worth of "one day at a times" together...I did not do it alone , however...I went to meetings and worked steps in my life...I do not have control of my use...proved it for 4 long years of relapse...living became a hassle. Lizzy...all the anxiety will pass...concentration will clear...only if you dont put the first one back in....get some ladies in your area to talk to you thru those moments when the obsession is so great it wants to take you over...go to meetings and get phone numbers....I made it back to the rooms 33 or so days ago and have not put in...You dont have too!! You have a choice!!
Denise
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Old 07-01-2004, 03:27 PM   #14 (permalink)
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hey guys. how is everyone? i went to sleep like a baby last night without smoking. however, today my husband thought it would be funny to blow a little smoke in my mouth when i went to give him a smooch. he almost got slapped. i explained that being supportive would help me a lot more than thinking i wasn't serious. when i said i had been sober for two days he laughed at how i used the word sober. it's not just a word for alkies you know? i blew the smoke out as soon as i realized but the taste was there and i felt like he caused me to do something i didn't want to. i still consider myself to be sober since i was unhappy and unwilling to share in the 'fun' of that little puff. anytime i think maybe i could just take a hit i think about how it will affect my sobriety and how i will feel about not sticking to something i want to do. i am keeping busy by cleaning and reading. there are lots of things to do around the house that could keep me busy and Lord knows the babies will keep me busy. i know my husband will continue to smoke for as long as he feels the need to, but that doesn't mean i want to smoke with him. hopefully he will understand and respect that. thanks for your support denise. it's great to be able to communicate with people who are looking to achieve the same goal. Need to grow up, keep trying. everyday. Keep Praying. Everyday. I am here to support. Pot is keeping you in bondage and nothing will feel better than feeling free. love you all and thanks again

Audra
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Old 07-01-2004, 04:47 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Lizzy, You are in a tough situation with your husband not taking you serious. And having in around is even harder.. My heart goes out to you..Please know that I am praying and supporting your efforts as you are mine..thnks Denise also...
I am very upset at the moment..as I know how hard it is...I support your efforts to be free of the bondage..and remember to pick yourself up if you fall and don't gave up.
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Old 07-02-2004, 01:59 PM   #16 (permalink)
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hey guys. how is everyone? going thru day three of complete sobriety. No smoking for me. it's weird how so many times i wanted to quit and couldn't. i just kept praying for strength to overcome temptation. i kept praying for the desire to quit. i knew it had a hold over me, i just couldn't shake it loose. you know? i smoked less and thought that was great, but still smoked everyday. couldn't go to bed without knowing that i had taken at least one hit. i felt compelled to do something i didn't even want to be doing. i think i finally prayed hard enough, convinced myself enough that i was sick of this sh*t and how is makes me feel. Been overly emotional lately. crying alot. but i will cry until i don't feel like crying anymore if that's what it takes. please continue to keep me in your prayers. going to make it into day 4. im on my way
audra
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Old 07-02-2004, 02:05 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Audra,

As someone struggling for one day know you are in my prayers!

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Old 07-02-2004, 02:17 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I'm getting chills at watching the program working all over the newcomer forum today.
It's a blessing to be here with you all.
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Old 07-02-2004, 03:40 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Its my 2nd day and although I am very emotional I am hanging in there. I do feel hopeful again..How powerful is the support from all of you...randa
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Old 07-02-2004, 09:09 PM   #20 (permalink)
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thanks guys. its great coming on here and seeing you all read up to check on everyone. i cry about everything. i see someone alone and i cry for them. i see someone with a handicap and i cry for them too. that might actually be a withdrawal sympton. i wouldn't know as i have never quit for this long since i have started smoking 6 years ago. it was hard today. i thought if i just took one hit, the euphoria would feel so serene. but i reminded myself that this particular euphoria was temporary with damaging effects. i have to keep my eye on the prize. i think that is the saying. i WILL beat this.

everything seems to be happening at just the right time. just when i was really thinking about getting high today a neighbor came over and kept me busy for 3 hours. when she was gone, so was my desire. the stuff is in my house because my husband is a smoker which makes it a little harder, but my ability to work thru knowing that it is here even if i wanted it makes me feel so much stronger. sometimes i feel bad posting because my addiction doesn't seem as bad as some of the others i have read about. but i feel that it is not what we do but the controlling desire to do it that makes us all alike. all of the people on this board are so supportive and you guys have set an example for me at my home as well.

with my husband i have never really been supportive. only screaming when i feel he is doing something that i don't agree with or feel he should give up because that is what i want for him. i am learning to support and encourage. i see how much is has helped everyone here, maybe it can do the same at home. so thank you to all of you that have been around to listen and continue to post and support. i will spend the rest of tonight thinking about all of you and the strength you have given to everyone. lots of love here. you guys are great
audra
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