smadams11

i drank vodka the night before last (i knew it would be bad but i was out of beer). it was as bad a s i feared. i react really badly to vodka. throwing up all night and pain and nausea the next day etc etc....so i didnt feel like drinking last night (miracle of miracles)
unfortunately that meant that i didnt sleep a jot, even though i took sleeping pills. i was up all night. fell asleep at 8am this morning, just when my kids had finished breakfast. managed to wake up to get them their lunch, then dropped off again until 2pm. i know-disgusting, but i was exhausted. my kids have had a rough day and my mood hasnt made it any better.
im still knackered, but wont sleep tonight (will maybe manage to drop off at 4am or something equally ridiculous) due to sleeping today. i am horribly stressed and grumpy. how on earth will i make it through tonight without drinking when i am feeling so negative and run down?
this always happens, every time. i dont sleep, im extremely tired and irritable so i drink. i only ever seem to make one night.
its no good telling me to 'cheer up' or 'do something positive' because the grumpiness and anger is a part of sobriety that i cannot escape no matter how much i try.
anything? please?
have re-read this and am aware of how negative it sounds. i am really really trying to be positive and cheerful, but its hard when i have 3 kids and im dreading their bedtime (which is when the dreaded battle of drink-or-not-drink begins). i really am trying.

smadams11

1: i dont WANT to drink. i usually end up drinking anyway but at least i dont want to. thats something.
2: i can barely hold my drink anymore-it used to be 10 a night, now its only 4/5 and im drunk. thats better, i guess.
well, thats it so far.....

IOAA2

Hi. You can win by being determined to not drink. It's that simple though not always easy. Take a honest look at what's happened in your life and be determined that's it, no more. I have never been religious but the last day of my drinking I got on my knees and asked for help to not drink anymore. It's worked for + 35 years and is a simple and effective way of help for millions.

BE WELL

Rochel

I totally understand! I only have one kid but once dinner is out of the way and bedtime gets closer, it's me and the drink getting together. I messed up last night after I was informed @ 6 pm that I had to drive my daughter to school today because there was and outing and she had to dress up too. I don't like surprises! My daughter has spina bifida and is incontinent and to top things off she soaked the bed overnight. I feel awfully down and find it hard to 'cheer up'. I'm venting. What I wanted to share was that 5HTP and/or melatonin have helped immensely with my sleep. I sleep better, wake up more rested and am more apt to sleep through the night. Good luck

Thepatman

The only way for things to get better is with time and patience.

Not the message we Alcoholics like to hear, but it's the reality of it.

But the good news is, if you hang on tight and keep pushing forward, things will get better. And if you drink, things will only keep getting worst.

You can do this

Nonsensical

Alcohol is causing this, not sobriety. The brain's natural reaction to excess alcohol consumption is to produce excess stress and anxiety to compensate. Your efforts to fix your anxiety with alcohol is actually making it worse.

Quit for 90 days and then come back and read this. You'll be shocked at how chronic alcohol use distorts our perception of reality.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.