needadvice93

I have been with this man for 3 years and we have an 18 month year old daughter. He is on his 3 rd duo with deferred prosecution tells me he has a restricted license and drives my car. I do not believe he has a l iscense but we fight if I tell him no. He tells me ill never get custody of my daughter that im worthless and a who're and a b@!&# basically every name in the book yet im the onlu one with a job and supportingbhim and my daughter. there have been times he has laid his hands on me and I guess im a little scared. Another point his family does not noticebhis alcohol addiction (he even hides his beer everywhere in henhouse and under the seats in the car) and my family is not supportive of me and would not help if I asked. I get blamed for his drinking andbprettynmuch everything. One moment he loves me the next he is a man I do not know filled with so much anger.

Dee74

Hi needadvice - welcome to SR.

This doesn't sound like a great environment for you or your daughter. I'm sorry.

I know you'll find a lot of support here and I hope you'll also look at our Family and Friends forums too - there's a lot of information down there right at the top of the forums about keeping you and your child safe that I hope you read.

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D

KateL

How awful, I hope you find some support with friends and families. None of it is your fault xxxx

FeelingGreat

Hi Needadvice, you need to remove yourself and your daughter from that environment. Please call your local domestic violence help line and they will discuss your situation with you and guide you to where there is help.
Have you considered calling the police when you know your BF is driving drunk? You should be able to do it anonymously. Or talk to your local police station and see how you can be left out of any report.

IOAA2

Hi. I hope your aware that ONLY the person with the problem can be helped. We can't get anyone sober or drunk unless that person wants to. You can support him but personally I'd do it from a good distance. Good suggestions above if followed.

BE WELL

Ruby2

Welcome and sorry you are going through this. It is not a safe place for you and your daughter. Can you leave? Do you want to leave? You can begin my making plans for that because if you are working, raising your daughter, taking care of your household you know you have it in you to make it.

As for the car. In my opinion you would be better off dealing with what you need to do about your relationship with him first. Calling the police on him if he has taken your car and is drinking may get your car impounded with you responsible for any fees to get it out. I'm not saying that you shouldn't call if he is drunk and could hurt someone but I would suggest getting an alcohol ignition switch that someone would have to blow into to start the car. If you can. But that still doesn't address what to do about a drunken abusive fiancé. Call someone who can help you make plans or provide suggestions.

Mountainmanbob

the title of your thread may say it all "alcoholic fiancé"

going into a marriage with our right mind
should tell us that danger may lay ahead ?

going into a marriage with a fiancé in recovery
should give us enough to think about

MM

least

I also advise calling your local domestic violence center. This does not sound like a good healthy relationship for you or your daughter. I'd reconsider marrying him while he's in active addiction.

Amazingglazier

NeedAdvice Welcome to SR, I am a 58 yo recovering alcoholic and have been through the DUI thing more than once, he is both full of crap anda bully coward! You need to get away from him he will cause you nothing but more pain and suffering. If heputs his hands on you he is a creep in my thinking. If he drives your car and kills someone YOU will be liable for it FOREVER! Either he gets clean and begs your forgiveness or get away permenently for you and your daughter. That i'm sorry I was drunk crap will not cut it if he seriously injures your or your daughter, or someone else! At least bad scenario if your insurance has to pay out for an accident he causes , YOU will pay through the nose to keep insurance on your car after they drop you. And if you don't have him listed as a driver there is a possibility of an insurance fraud charge against you if you live together. Please think of these things for your sake and that of your daughter! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby

Adnamaeel

You and your daughter deserve a safe home, and it hope you get yourself out of that situation. I left an abusive drunk when I was 21 and pregnant, my baby deserved better than that, and so did I. Alcohol will certainly exacerbate abuse, but it doesn't excuse it, and it isn't the reason for it. Please get help.