Welcome Randa!
thanks audra!
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Anytown, USA
Posts: 101
Hey Randa,
today is day 8 for you. i hope eveything is going great for you. you are so very worth it. i love you girl and missed talkin to you this last couple of days. having Randa withdrawals. let me know how everything is. we all love you. keep it up
love,
audra
today is day 8 for you. i hope eveything is going great for you. you are so very worth it. i love you girl and missed talkin to you this last couple of days. having Randa withdrawals. let me know how everything is. we all love you. keep it up
love,
audra
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Anytown, USA
Posts: 101
randa,
day 9. i sure have missed you. where you been lady? i miss my buddy being around to talk to. i hope everything is okay with you. if not, just come on here and let me know. i would love to help in any way that i can.
day 9. i sure have missed you. where you been lady? i miss my buddy being around to talk to. i hope everything is okay with you. if not, just come on here and let me know. i would love to help in any way that i can.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 129
Hi lizzy, moot, and Trierg, I lost the use of the computer at home. I am still clean and sober. Missed you all so much..I was going thur withdrws frm this site..
Feeling alittle down...about a job rejection...I have shame about not being able to find work. But I know that the most important thing I can do in my life today is to not use....all other things in my life are not important. I don't want to beat myself up for being too old, not good enough to get a job anymore due my background, etc.
I also am trying not to let my bf's problems became my issues.. I need to be able to focus on my recovery and my issues..
My daughter is so impressed and happy to see me actually doing...recovery..She has been supportive and loving towards me.
I need to get into a program where poor forks are admitted..but my grandaughter is looking forward to going camping at Yosemite in about 2 weeks and wants very very dearly for me to go. So, I will stay sober..and go with her and then activily seek a place for me to go get the help I need.
I have been not having craving for weed or its affect very much at all. I have tried to function at a job that was not right for me..I do feel shame that I have left wonderful jobs..due to my personal choices and that now even though I am skilled and experienced in my field, I am rejected.
But again, this is negative thinking that feels into my addiction. So, it is wonderful to get back on-line and read your wonderful words..of love and encouragement. Their power makes me want to cry...What a powerful tool...its a God thing too.
I am at the library..and I want to sign off this memo..now and see how all you guys are doing..be back..in awhile if I can. Much love..always...randa
Feeling alittle down...about a job rejection...I have shame about not being able to find work. But I know that the most important thing I can do in my life today is to not use....all other things in my life are not important. I don't want to beat myself up for being too old, not good enough to get a job anymore due my background, etc.
I also am trying not to let my bf's problems became my issues.. I need to be able to focus on my recovery and my issues..
My daughter is so impressed and happy to see me actually doing...recovery..She has been supportive and loving towards me.
I need to get into a program where poor forks are admitted..but my grandaughter is looking forward to going camping at Yosemite in about 2 weeks and wants very very dearly for me to go. So, I will stay sober..and go with her and then activily seek a place for me to go get the help I need.
I have been not having craving for weed or its affect very much at all. I have tried to function at a job that was not right for me..I do feel shame that I have left wonderful jobs..due to my personal choices and that now even though I am skilled and experienced in my field, I am rejected.
But again, this is negative thinking that feels into my addiction. So, it is wonderful to get back on-line and read your wonderful words..of love and encouragement. Their power makes me want to cry...What a powerful tool...its a God thing too.
I am at the library..and I want to sign off this memo..now and see how all you guys are doing..be back..in awhile if I can. Much love..always...randa
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 2,440
It's good to hear that you are still sober. It does get better, but sometimes it doesn't feel like it comes fast enough. Just hang in there. A job will come when the time is right. Just keep focused on not picking up that drug. That way you won't have to put it back down! Love, sherry
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 129
Lizzy and James,
Today my daughter and I discussed God...and it came down to praying to God and talking to him and asking for his help with any things that are heavy on my mine. And just now reading the above and how God and praying helped both of you....Wow..is what God..working his blessing..and answering me before I even pray? James..how can I ever thank you for helping me get started? I love you and care about you.
I guess if I am to have time today at this computer to read what all you've said, I had better stop posting now and start reading as I have only 15 minutes left before some else can use this. So again..I will try to get to this site at least once aday and if I can't, then know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers..love randa
Today my daughter and I discussed God...and it came down to praying to God and talking to him and asking for his help with any things that are heavy on my mine. And just now reading the above and how God and praying helped both of you....Wow..is what God..working his blessing..and answering me before I even pray? James..how can I ever thank you for helping me get started? I love you and care about you.
I guess if I am to have time today at this computer to read what all you've said, I had better stop posting now and start reading as I have only 15 minutes left before some else can use this. So again..I will try to get to this site at least once aday and if I can't, then know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers..love randa
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Anytown, USA
Posts: 101
yeah,
so glad to hear from you randa. triegger and i have been eager to talk to you and make sure you are okay. i am glad that you are. and so glad to see you are on day 11, i think. one day after mine. i am still sober as well, although it hasn't been very easy. God got me where i am today. never ever stop praying. for strength, serenity, understanding, compassion, etc. do what you need to do concerning recovering and rehab. as for jobs, i have had great ones, but couldn't manage to get up in the morning to go to them. i had my last job for about a year and just got laid off last month. it's a real let down, but now that i am sober, i am not scared to go out and find another one. hang in there, a great job that you enjoy will come along your way. you deserve it.
love and miss ya,
audra
so glad to hear from you randa. triegger and i have been eager to talk to you and make sure you are okay. i am glad that you are. and so glad to see you are on day 11, i think. one day after mine. i am still sober as well, although it hasn't been very easy. God got me where i am today. never ever stop praying. for strength, serenity, understanding, compassion, etc. do what you need to do concerning recovering and rehab. as for jobs, i have had great ones, but couldn't manage to get up in the morning to go to them. i had my last job for about a year and just got laid off last month. it's a real let down, but now that i am sober, i am not scared to go out and find another one. hang in there, a great job that you enjoy will come along your way. you deserve it.
love and miss ya,
audra
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 110
Originally Posted by needtogrowup
James..how can I ever thank you for helping me get started? I love you and care about you.
I'm sitting here both blushing and on the edge of tears. I've been off-line at home after a computer crash which had the feel of my HP doing what I couldn't do for myself (back off a bit from addictive computer use), so I will be doing limited posting from work. This last week (starting Saturday a week ago) has been pretty hard, and it is sweet beyond words to log in here after being off-line for almost 3 days and see this.
Just for today, I'm going to borrow your gratitude. Thank you.
James
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 129
Thank you everyone...just for today is all I need be concerned about..day 14..and hanging in there..need to get off my butt and go out to f2f or outpt program..will do but have to be patient..very grateful for all of your support and encouragement. thanks everyone....hugs....smiles..and good thoughts..what great, wonderful company I am in at this site...love ya randa
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 129
Day 22, can you believe it!!! missing Audra...I now have a job that is temp to hire and guess what? When the to hire part comes...I WILL BE ABLE TO PAST THE DRUG TEST! GOD IS BLESSING MY EFFORTS..OR SO IT SEEMS.. I found a few other links that are on this site..that are awesome. adult child of alch. and wisdom beyond description.. the hope is unbelievable. tonight is the womens thurs meeting I when to last week...but I am so tired from my first week at work..that it looks like I won't make it. My son is here visiting and tommorow they all go to Yosemite to camp for a week..I have been around Pot and guess what? I don't even want any...I am not interested at least thats how I feel now. I found out that there is a place for women w/ 6months recovery that is for women 50 or older..and I kinda have that as my long range goal. My bf..had an operation related to his alco. and he is a jailbird for trying to make 5 dollars on being a go between for a pot dealer and an undercover cop..so it was a blessing in disguse as I still struggle with my enabling tendenies..Like I say..I have to put my recovery first...I want to trust in myself..and my HP and others in this program..My bf..is not using when he gets out..or he is out of my life. My son is very proud of me..And its feels so good to finally be an example for my addicted children. It feels so good to feel good and proud of me....things to the wonderful support I have feel here. Love you guys...I am so proud of you all....WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER AND W/HP...LOVE..RANDA
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 110
Hi Randa, it's great to hear from you!
A job, and it sound's like you've had a touch of the "restored to sanity" experience ("I have been around Pot and guess what? I don't even want any"). It took me 2 months in the program (almost 3 months clean) before I began to feel any revulsion at it, and I don't feel strong enough to be around it (see my "Visit from the Barber" post for my one experience up close and personal - I handled it and didn't feel triggered, but it was pretty stressful).
Great work, and a pleasure to see God working in your life.
James
A job, and it sound's like you've had a touch of the "restored to sanity" experience ("I have been around Pot and guess what? I don't even want any"). It took me 2 months in the program (almost 3 months clean) before I began to feel any revulsion at it, and I don't feel strong enough to be around it (see my "Visit from the Barber" post for my one experience up close and personal - I handled it and didn't feel triggered, but it was pretty stressful).
Great work, and a pleasure to see God working in your life.
James
Last edited by shyQcodep; 07-23-2004 at 10:03 AM. Reason: perfectionism - it's my #1 character defect
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 129
Hi guys......will 7-1 was my first day....so this is 31 days.!!!!!!! I only worked 9 days..and when I did work..I was exhasted and too tired to read SR or post which is not good..I missed a women meeting on thurs too. Not good as I know that I need to make them my friends..and get to know them. I seem to have sleep issues..always tired and need naps if I can get them. I feel a bit under the weather. While I am proud of myself still...I find it hard to have patience w/ myself and the process. I have a problem being concise and focusing and seem to be just wandering around during the day wondering what to do next. All you guys in recovery are my soul food. I don't know what I would do w/o you. thanks for being there..it means alot (understandment!!!). we can do this...I will learn to live sober..love randa
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 129
Hey Dan..I love reading your posts..and thank you (however..belated..)for your comments and encouragement. One day..I will be able to be more "together" in my responses..regarding the topic and timeiness LOL (does that mean something about laughing?) And ShyQ...hows my friend w/ all the programs and wisdom doing? Who knows when you will read these..or how long it takes me to respn..Ha Ha..bye everyone...I love SR...and everyone using it...randa
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
