I'm sorry for your difficult situation. Things must seem very difficult for you now. You will be surprised how your life can become manageable again if you stop drinking. I didn't believe there was much hope either, but I found that it is so worth it to stop drinking. You can do this and we're here to help.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.