menow

hi everyone, not real sure I am in the right place but here I am. I recently left my coke addict boyfriend and came back to the states. when i read about what addicts do, he truly is not the typical but what he has done is begin smoking crystal because is was cheaper. his drug addiction has escalated and his short fuse became even shorter and he became abusive. I became very afraid. I went to the American Councel with only the cloths on my back and they helped to get me back to the states. Now I cry for this man and miss all of the wonderful moments. I need to move forward but I think about him all the time stupid I know. I am 57 years old and should know better. He is in total denial about the addition and we were able to talk about it in the beginning of our 3 year relationship. But as time went on I was not allowed to talk about it he would become very agree and alittle abusive. I guess maybe I need to talk here. I feel very confused and alone.

biminiblue

Just make it through today. I would say do not contact him and do not open any texts or emails from him.

You are now continents away, right? Hold onto that fact and move on with YOUR life and take care of YOU.

He is not the kind of man you want to be tied to, is he?


What do you want in life? Go out and make that happen without a drug addict hanging around your neck.

menow

He is in Puerto Vallarta Mexico. And I have not made contact with him. His daughter in Guadalajara is a facebook friend. I do not know what I want out of life. I need back surgery and he was trying to sell his boat to pay for it. But now all of that has changed. Now I am staying with a dear friend and applying for free health care so I can have surgery and get my life back. I still worry about him and am very sad that his addiction has destroyed our relationship. He was my one true love I rather doubt I will ever find it again.

biminiblue

That's fantastic that you are doing something to improve your health. I would say find something to do as well - pick up a volunteering spot, help a neighbor, tutor a child, or read to kids at a school. Something to get your mind off of your troubles.

This is going to pass. He may have been a great love of your life, but he chose to throw that away. A man who becomes abusive is not a man to be involved with. A three year relationship was significant, but you will survive this.

You deserve better.

Hevyn

Welcome Menow! It's good to meet you - and I hope it helps to talk things over here. You are no longer alone.

In addition to the Newcomers forum, you many want to check out our Friends & Family forums too. Many there have experience in dealing with this very thing. I hope it lessens your anxiety to be here. I'm sorry for the pain you're experiencing as you go through this.

menow

logistically I understand and know what I need to do. I am afraid of the unknown and afraid of being alone, my emotions are a mess. thank u so much for being here for me. It has helped and I hope you let me continue to talk to you all. It is so sad what addictions can do to people so so sad.

Hevyn

Of course keep sharing your feelings menow - that's why we're all here. It's a complicated situation & only those who've gone through it can truly understand.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!!