StormiNormi

I lost my only child to suicide five years ago. I have gone to a dual diagnoses recovery center (at one year out) as I had PTSD and depression, which I was using alcohol to medicate. Prior to my daughter's suicide, I had six months of sobriety. I have not been able to string together more than two months since. I have had a lot of grief counseling, but have not been able to find much in the way of addiction and grief. If there are any parents out there, who have the same experience; with success in sobriety, can you help me? All responces are

appreciated. I am a snowbirds, living 6 months in the U.S. and six in Canada, so it is quite difficult to find long term support.

EJ43

Oh Stormi, I am so incredibly sorry! I have not had that experience but I live with someone who suffers from PTSD and depression from different circumstances. I hope you find support here as there are many great people from around the world with many stories, but all looking for the same thing. I hope you can find some peace here!

Sulu1

Stormi I am so sorry to hear that. I wish I could give you some advice. I've struggled with depression all my life, I'm in my early twenties and I very nearly did the same thing.

I truly hope you get the help you need, you will get through this. You are so strong.

StormiNormi

I still work 18/6s in Canada, and that is my national prime residency. I have health insurance in the U.S., but it only covers emergency, or previously undiagnosed health issues. I do get to AA meetings, but don't feel this is appropriate to share in meetings.

StormiNormi

Mr. G , it is said you never know how strong you are until that is your only option. My daughter was depressed for a very long time. Please know that there are people who's lives would be devastated permanently should you choose death over life. Mainly your family. If your parents are still alive, their Sun rises and sets on your being alive.

Anna

I'm sorry for the loss of your daughter.

There is lots of support here.

Lenina

hi Stormin,

So sorry to hear about your loss. This link might be helpful for you.

Survivors of Suicide - Suicide Survivors - Survivors of Suicide Support Groups

Love from Lenina

KateL

So sorry for your loss xx

Holli

I'm am so sorry for your loss, there but for the grace of god go I. My oldest son suffered from significant depression in high school, I know only how hard that more limited experience was for me as a parent.

PTSD, depression and alcoholism is the ugly trifecta these days. I hope you can find workable solutions.

sosa86

Stormi I cannot express how sorry I am for your loss. You are very strong and you are doing the right thing and seeking help and support. My prayers are yours.

Aellyce

StormiNormi, I'm so sorry...

I have not lost a child to depression/addiction, but these run in my extended family. One of my aunts committed suicide after many years of psychiatric care in and out... other aunt died in the psych ward also... and there is more... weird lineage.

I am an alcoholic in recovery; was suicidal as an active addict on a daily basis almost. Honestly, still feel that way more often than I would want to, ~3 months sober. One of my major motivations to NOT go through with "it", when an active alcoholic, was my love and concern for my father.

StormiNormi

Haennie, I felt the same way, for my Mother. I could not destroy her as I was destroyed. She passed away last November. Now I hold on for my sister, who's husband complete suicide 30 years ago. We all need to believe we are the world to one person. Otherwise, it is all too easy to give in to those moments of despair.

Aellyce

My dear mom suffered for depression (and a variety of other illnesses) in her whole life. Starting very early, as her biological parents gave her away to surrogate parents, that did not care for her well, to say the least. But she grew up as a great person, I think. No drugs no alcohol no nothing weird. But an intense desire for love. My parents met in their 20's, but could not (decided to not) establish a family due to poverty. Mom got pregnant many times...
Finally they had me (an only child) when mom was 40 and dad 43.

Unfortunately, I've never been able to develop a close relationship with my mom. She died several years ago, after many illnesses, of a heart attack. I was years and continents away from her at the time... dealing with my own issues... went back to her funeral, but remained mostly detached.

I'm trying to not repeat the same for my father now... who knows? I'm still so ***ed !

Thank you for posting, and please take care of of yourself.

Adnamaeel

Normi,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I have not lost a child, but I lost a very close relative to suicide almost 2 years ago. In her case it was in response to postpartum depression.
Though it can't possibly compare to a parent's experience, I do understand the devastation, rage, and the crushing guilt that accompany this kind of loss.
The only thing that really helps me when I think about it, which I still do every day, is to remember that her life was hers to do with as she pleased, and she did.
I wish you strength.