serenitynowplz

Doubledragons, I identify with what you are saying about being able to moderate for a while and then having a "doozy" night. How did you finally stop? Would you mind sharing a bit about your story? I am 42 and stopped drinking completely after I had my first child 15 years ago. I was a blackout drinker then but didn't consider myself alcoholic. I just made a choice bc I never wanted my kids to see me drunk. I made a choice and I stopped. Now I feel like a make the choice to stop and then im inevitably back at it again. I divorced my husband 7 years ago bc he drank way more than I was comfortable with. And now I'm doing it myself???

alphaomega

I never failed at ANYTHING like I failed at moderation. Fail after fail after fail after fail after fail.

And lord knows, I tried everything to make it work. Everything. Years upon decades.

mecanix

Maybe i could be a moderate drinker , maybe i could smoke and not get lung cancer , COPD or emphysema … I'm never gonna find out ..
drinking is such a waste of time , life , money and health i can't imagine why i'd ever do it .. NOT in this lifetime



Bestwishes, m

DoubleDragons

Serenity, I am 43 and I am 6.5 months sober, so it sounds like you have a lot more sober time in your lifetime, than I do. I drank alcohol very liberally since about the age of 15. Like you, I quit when I was pregnant, but I went right back to it after all four babies were born. My mom was always a heavy drinker, but in the last 5-7 years, she has become a full-blown alcoholic. (drinking in the morning, showing up to family events drunk, etc.) This has caused me a great deal of pain and shame and helplessness. I could not bear being the cause of those feelings in my children, so I quit. My best resources have been SR and my monthly friends on SR (yay October 2013 Sober Tobers!), the book Quit the Drink Easily by Jason Vale, a sobriety journal where I keep inspiring sobriety quotes and posts, but also a list of all of the heinous, embarrassing things I have done under the influence, a good-bye letter to alcohol and a long list of the advantages of sobriety. I have changed a lot about my lifestyle: better food, more exercise, natural supplements, yoga and meditation, simplifying my lifestyle, more sleep, etc. In short, I have made my well-being a matter of the highest importance, realizing that I have nothing to give those who I love dearly, if I don't. I think you sound like you are right on track.

Brian316

I can't say I know any. Myself included.

MIRecovery

I have never seen it even heard of it

SoberCAH

The term "moderation" is not in my lexicon.

Just me, but I never did a little bit of anything.

lovesymphony

Before I became alcoholic, or even drank for that matter, I knew alcoholics were supposed to give up alcohol completely or slip back into alcoholism. It's common knowledge. But once I discovered I was alcoholic myself I kept trying to moderate. I think it was obviously a denial problem

Greenwood618

Drinking any amount of alcohol is a complete waste of time and energy, moderate or excessive. It contains no joy, brings no relief and confers no respectability.

serenitynowplz

GW... At one time it DID bring some sort of joy or relief though. I'm trying to tell myself that the bad now completely outweighs any good there ever was in it.

Tang

Anytime I've tried to moderate I always end up drinking more than I'd planned. Most people I know who drink, drink too much. I know one person who has one glass of wine a day. I guess they are not like us.

jkirk

This is a great topic. Can one go back in moderation? I can only add that, like many, I have tried only to find myself back to, or exceeding the previous level.
This leaves me with hopefully remaining sober..

Greenwood618

Removed, double posted

Greenwood618

Your abstinence agreement with yourself contains a drinking clause if you think drinking was ever positive in any way, even ironic or perverse.

hockeywino

In my own brief experience with all of this I would equate it to this. Trying to go back to drinking moderately is much like driving down the highway with a statey in front of you, you drive slow, yellow flag caution is out,you will continue to drive slow for a bit but eventually that statey is going to exit and then its back to green flag racing.....problem its only a matter of time before another enters the highway behind and your pulled over and handed the ticket.........its just not worth it....

seanie1888

I tried so many times to moderate,
after 1st it was of bets are off.
I hope none of us has to go through the pain of 1 more attempt.

LadyinBC

There is no way I could go back and moderate my drinking. Because I am not interested really in moderating it. My goal is to just get drunk as quickly as possible and to stay that way. I had to admit this to myself in order to stay sober.

I did try moderating and it just never worked. I became more obsessed with when I could drink and it didn't prevent me from getting drunk.

People who don't have a problem with alcohol don't obsess with when and how much they should drink.

MIRecovery

I never really wanted controlled drinking even though I said I did. What I wanted was to be a drunk without the consequences

Sulu1

Well I've certainly never met anyone who has gone back to moderate drinking. I think once we lose control the ship has already sailed really.

I've tried and tried to moderate, you name it, I've tried it, it's only ever gotten worse. I have to accept that I will never be able to drink in moderation and learn to deal with that. I certainly couldn't get more unhappy than I am when I do drink.

wildchild69

ME TOO. You took the words right out of my mouth...
It's never worked forever for anyone...It may work a while, but that is really playing with fire. I realize now that if that thought of going back out and drinking "successfully" is still there, then the acceptance hasn't quite set it yet. At least, that's how it was for me....I too drank "successfully" for months at a time...then the super drunk nights would sneak up on me...SUPER sneaky if I may say...
That being said... I think that no amount of drinking is successful. Even if you're not an "alcoholic" or don't have a "drinking problem"...it's pure poison. It helps nothing.