Recovery from AA
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 94
no thanks. i will forever remember the last time I was sick on booze. i will never forget that I am allergic to it and have been for the rest of my life. Do you really think I could have something so tragic happen to me at this point in my life that I would want to drink again? I've lost everyone (family) who ever loved me, but I know I WAS loved probably better than most people, and I'm thankful for that. I still can help other people, but I refuse to be around people who cannot and will not deal with reality. That is where the Buddhism comes in to play. The majority of people's troubles are caused by their faulty perceptions and afflictive emotions. Solve that problem and there is no reason to get gassed out of consciousness. So what works for you?
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
I have worked in some eastern ideas into my sobriety, too. The concepts of mindfulness, separation and acceptance have really changed my life, especially around alcohol and those thoughts that used to drive me all the way to the liquor store.
You might find a more receptive group for your ideas in the Secular Connections forum. But, there we try to keep the discussion to what works for us, not so much what has failed us in the past.
Hope to see you there.
You might find a more receptive group for your ideas in the Secular Connections forum. But, there we try to keep the discussion to what works for us, not so much what has failed us in the past.
Hope to see you there.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
Why not talk about it here on SR? Not in the Newcomer's forum but in Alcoholism or Secular Recovery or one of the other categories.
Not everyone will like to hear what you say but some will be supportive. If you feel the need to discuss it, why don't you?
Not everyone will like to hear what you say but some will be supportive. If you feel the need to discuss it, why don't you?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
What is happening is that a few are goading an individual into a debate for which I feel has no benefit. This individual posted something, whether out of disdain or not toward an organization, and the staunch supporters of said organization are continuing to force their beliefs onto this person. The merits of this organization have already been discussed and debated many times. I recall recently when this occurred.
It seems to me this individual wanted to say hello and profess their own satisfaction of having overcome a dependence on alcohol. There may have been a 'cheap shot' at one organization. So what? This person indicated that they are grounded and simply continuing a course of self improvement. I for one have no doubt that this is an intelligent and well thought individual. Couldn't we have just said congratulations and thanks? If this person wants to read or post on other related forums it is their choice.
I for one see the MANY benefits from the Buddhist principals. I see the relative foundations of these principals incorporated into a certain organization. I posted it several times. I am happy for this person.
Good luck Zig. I wish you happiness and continued strength as you continue you life of improvement and sustained sobriety. As you further your progression into this endeavor you may look back on this little 'event' and contemplate your motives. You are your own person. Peace.
Brian
It seems to me this individual wanted to say hello and profess their own satisfaction of having overcome a dependence on alcohol. There may have been a 'cheap shot' at one organization. So what? This person indicated that they are grounded and simply continuing a course of self improvement. I for one have no doubt that this is an intelligent and well thought individual. Couldn't we have just said congratulations and thanks? If this person wants to read or post on other related forums it is their choice.
I for one see the MANY benefits from the Buddhist principals. I see the relative foundations of these principals incorporated into a certain organization. I posted it several times. I am happy for this person.
Good luck Zig. I wish you happiness and continued strength as you continue you life of improvement and sustained sobriety. As you further your progression into this endeavor you may look back on this little 'event' and contemplate your motives. You are your own person. Peace.
Brian
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Good Morning Dee,
Our messages crossed in cyber space.
It is possible what worked for Zig is what worked for me. An event occurred for me directly related to alcohol. I realized that I shouldn't drink. Regardless of my history, I came to realize that consumption of alcohol was not in my best interest. I quit drinking BEFORE I went to rehab. And I continued a program of IOP loosely based on the 12 step ideal. I attended many AA meetings. AA helped to instill this in me - that I should never drink again. But truthfully, I already knew it.
Some people may just come to the conclusion that they can no longer drink. They take certain steps to get them through the early phase of abstinence and then feel they can move on. Using this forum has helped me because of the "positives" I see in people and the "negatives" I see as a result of continued use. I have had a lot of down time recently and using this forum was a sort of diversion at times. I feel I am a part of this community. However, I also feel that putting everyone into the same category of 'drunkard' detracts from the program (XX). And it turns people away. JMHO
Our messages crossed in cyber space.
It is possible what worked for Zig is what worked for me. An event occurred for me directly related to alcohol. I realized that I shouldn't drink. Regardless of my history, I came to realize that consumption of alcohol was not in my best interest. I quit drinking BEFORE I went to rehab. And I continued a program of IOP loosely based on the 12 step ideal. I attended many AA meetings. AA helped to instill this in me - that I should never drink again. But truthfully, I already knew it.
Some people may just come to the conclusion that they can no longer drink. They take certain steps to get them through the early phase of abstinence and then feel they can move on. Using this forum has helped me because of the "positives" I see in people and the "negatives" I see as a result of continued use. I have had a lot of down time recently and using this forum was a sort of diversion at times. I feel I am a part of this community. However, I also feel that putting everyone into the same category of 'drunkard' detracts from the program (XX). And it turns people away. JMHO
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
Originally Posted by azbluesgal 
you can call a negative experience "bashing" so be it. I went back to AA to make some friends, but was humiliated in a meeting by a methadone maintenance person who related some very personal information AT and DURING a meeting - specifically - his "sponsor" (a woman since he is gay) called me an "emotional vampire" privately to him, and he felt the need to share MY name and HER name specifically in a meeting. Does that constitute AA BASHING? If so, I am entirely too healthy to be around such sick people even with 24 years and one year of sobriety. NO THANK YOU. I have half a million reasons to stay sober long enough to enjoy it. I did not blow my whole life and don't have HepC or herpes thank god. That's MY Serenity.
I understand you are frustrated by a particular group. I am not a member of AA. However, as someone who follows no formal program I also believe that it serves no one in recovery to place a value on their form of recovery versus another form of recovery. You feel angry at a particular group because of the way you were treated, however, members of that group might feel upset because it makes them uncomfortable to have to defend an individual within their group that they have never met.
Following this train of thought, drawing from a singular experience and making generalizations..... it could be furthered to look like someone without a formal program is prone to being judgmental and making generalizations. As part of the group without a formal program I am protective about the way our recovery is perceived, just like members of AA are protective about their method. I don't like to see any recovery method set up as an us/them situation.
Sobriety for me has meant dealing with issues that I have neglected for a long time, tt also means not creating new issues by lashing out at people. SR is special because there is respect across a lot of lines of recovery, it is not an either/or place, it is an "what can I learn from you?" place. That is pretty unique, the longer I am sober the more unique I realize it is. There are some pretty great discussions here about all sorts of recovery methods, I have been pleasantly surprised by the ability of members to challenge each other and learn from differences.
Recovery is like a subset of the larger population. In it we have all sorts of people, some are annoying just like real life, but a lot of people have also struggled very hard to get where there are. I find that this struggle often imbues them with an extra level of sensitivity to others, suffering can do that to people. I have softened the stances I came in with, I realized that focusing on differences rather than similarities was a way to let my ego get in the way. It is actually a relief to say "I don't know" sometimes. Congrats on your sober time, and welcome.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
I very much agree that a debate would be useless.
However, sharing experience is very helpful. That is one of the pillars of 12-step recovery, therapy, etc. Because often it is not until we articulate what happened that we gain perspective.
It was not until I had a place to talk about my negative experiences in 12-step recovery that I could see clearly the good experiences I had there as well.
It does not help to tell someone that sharing their experience is somehow "entering a debate." Sharing experience is not making a general statement...it is simply telling about what one individual went through.
And sometimes you get a wise response like jaynie's.
However, sharing experience is very helpful. That is one of the pillars of 12-step recovery, therapy, etc. Because often it is not until we articulate what happened that we gain perspective.
It was not until I had a place to talk about my negative experiences in 12-step recovery that I could see clearly the good experiences I had there as well.
It does not help to tell someone that sharing their experience is somehow "entering a debate." Sharing experience is not making a general statement...it is simply telling about what one individual went through.
And sometimes you get a wise response like jaynie's.
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