What I Have Learned About Myself, My AV
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Join Date: Jun 2010
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What I Have Learned About Myself, My AV
What I Have Learned about Myself, My AV
As many of you know, I am an 86 year old with a history of 40 years of episodic drinking and over 25 years of sobriety after that. Recently I had a “Non Invasive” (Transcatheter Aortic Valve Replacement) followed by installation of a pacemaker. The surgical installation of the hardware was superb and all systems are functioning. Unfortunately I have had some post operative complications largely dealing with bladder infection, with episodes of extreme pain. This has largely been brought under control. I have been in one hospital and the emergency room of another and am now in a post operative rehab.
During all of this I have had no craving to drink. It has not even come to my mind. Yet the stress of these events, and the challenges of having to accomodate myself to differing environments and submit to their control (“higher powers” indeed!) has kept my AV busy, a child within crying loudly “I don’t like this! I’m used to what I had before I entered the hospital! I want it all back! I want to do it my way and I want it right now!”
Believe me, I hear this voice and it is powerful and loud. I have been told that it lives in the more primitive areas of the brain. It is a particular danger for alcoholics and other addicts but it is there for everyone. It has its uses but in times of stress it is an unruly beast. Somehow that beast must be controlled and the stress makes this hard because of the numbing of the more rational parts of the brain due to anesthesia, medications and other things.
Well, the gist of this is “Look within yourself!” See the “child within”. Be wary of it. It has been your friend at times, your enemy when you drink and use, and in times of stress, you may very well hear its voice. Look within! A large part of the solution, quitting drinking or dealing with stress, indeed the path to true wisdom, may lie within. As the Greeks said so long ago, “Know thyself!”
W.
As many of you know, I am an 86 year old with a history of 40 years of episodic drinking and over 25 years of sobriety after that. Recently I had a “Non Invasive” (Transcatheter Aortic Valve Replacement) followed by installation of a pacemaker. The surgical installation of the hardware was superb and all systems are functioning. Unfortunately I have had some post operative complications largely dealing with bladder infection, with episodes of extreme pain. This has largely been brought under control. I have been in one hospital and the emergency room of another and am now in a post operative rehab.
During all of this I have had no craving to drink. It has not even come to my mind. Yet the stress of these events, and the challenges of having to accomodate myself to differing environments and submit to their control (“higher powers” indeed!) has kept my AV busy, a child within crying loudly “I don’t like this! I’m used to what I had before I entered the hospital! I want it all back! I want to do it my way and I want it right now!”
Believe me, I hear this voice and it is powerful and loud. I have been told that it lives in the more primitive areas of the brain. It is a particular danger for alcoholics and other addicts but it is there for everyone. It has its uses but in times of stress it is an unruly beast. Somehow that beast must be controlled and the stress makes this hard because of the numbing of the more rational parts of the brain due to anesthesia, medications and other things.
Well, the gist of this is “Look within yourself!” See the “child within”. Be wary of it. It has been your friend at times, your enemy when you drink and use, and in times of stress, you may very well hear its voice. Look within! A large part of the solution, quitting drinking or dealing with stress, indeed the path to true wisdom, may lie within. As the Greeks said so long ago, “Know thyself!”
W.
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Hello dear W. I agree with ThePatman. Another helpful, wise, encouraging post.
I'm so sorry you've had to go through all that. I'm glad the pain has become manageable. Hoping for many enjoyable days in your future.
I'm so sorry you've had to go through all that. I'm glad the pain has become manageable. Hoping for many enjoyable days in your future.
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P.S. Times of Stress- One AV Talks to Another AV
As I have recently posted, I am in a cardiac rehab recovering from an aortic valve replacement operation. I have had some pain from physical aftereffects as well as trouble accomodating to the temporary surrender of personal control to hospital and rehab protocols. This has upset my AV and, on some occasions, has resulted in confrontations with staff members. The latter, intent on following their protocols, have at times displayed irrational anger. I suspect that this may be in part due to their AV’s. If so, this suggests the possibility of two AV’s confronting with one another. Indeed, perhaps at times the two AV’s may seek to conspire with each other to achieve their own ends. What to do? Why not try to reinforce and increase the power of the more rational areas of the brain residing in the cerebral cortex, a physiological version of a “higher power” within the brain?
W.
As I have recently posted, I am in a cardiac rehab recovering from an aortic valve replacement operation. I have had some pain from physical aftereffects as well as trouble accomodating to the temporary surrender of personal control to hospital and rehab protocols. This has upset my AV and, on some occasions, has resulted in confrontations with staff members. The latter, intent on following their protocols, have at times displayed irrational anger. I suspect that this may be in part due to their AV’s. If so, this suggests the possibility of two AV’s confronting with one another. Indeed, perhaps at times the two AV’s may seek to conspire with each other to achieve their own ends. What to do? Why not try to reinforce and increase the power of the more rational areas of the brain residing in the cerebral cortex, a physiological version of a “higher power” within the brain?
W.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi W. I do hope your Higher Power intervenes with some internal pain relief. In my case I feel the rehab is far more painful than the procedure.
If you not familiar with AA speaker "tapes" you can save, I can direct you to a couple sites, just PM me.
BE WELL
If you not familiar with AA speaker "tapes" you can save, I can direct you to a couple sites, just PM me.
BE WELL
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Originally Posted by IOAA2 
Hi W. I do hope your Higher Power intervenes with some internal pain relief. In my case I feel the rehab is far more painful than the procedure.
If you not familiar with AA speaker "tapes" you can save, I can direct you to a couple sites, just PM me.
BE WELL
If you not familiar with AA speaker "tapes" you can save, I can direct you to a couple sites, just PM me.
BE WELL
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Island Park , NY
Posts: 373
Wpainter , hope you heal quickly and well! I'll let you know when I get to that exciting 25 years of sobriety that you have! Thank You for giving me that inspiration , as I also beat the hell out of myself with 40 some years of drinking at 58 y.o. Someone or Something will no doubt get you back on your feet ! Stay Strong and Well ! Bobby
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