Skeezicks

Hi Everyone! I'm here because I have progressed over the last 5 years into something I am not proud of.And I have read many things here and really like this place! Thank you everyone!I'm a beer drinker mostly the blue ribbon type, Started out then 2-3 which was a great buzz and did it daily,turned into 8-17 a day depending on how manic I'm feeling.I have hit about as far bottom as I can allow.I have a great career,keep all my responsibilities,and am very responsible to the community as I am in law enforcement,no drinking and driving,no bars,just sit at home when not working with only one goal...getting drunk,while doing hobbies,and surfing the net.Less than a week ago I moved out of the house, My beautiful wife and 13 year old daughter just can't handle my bs any more so we agreed I'd separate,but for the purpose of getting healthy again.I've had 4 major anger fits in the last 4 years,and get verbally abusive when drunk,and provoked... and it's been towards the two most powerful and loving woman in my life.All is not lost.I could do a medical thing,could go to AA,but I'm comfortable here.... Right now I am devastated by my actions and the pain I have caused to my girls! After a week separated I hung out today,made dinner and had a wonderful time with them,and realized this madness needs to stop right now,I just got to the point I enjoy my beer buzz so much It's going to be very hard but I will lose my Family,and the thought of that is unbearable.I have a major wake up call in front of me.I keep it a secret and when I'm on the clock serve my community well.The Doctor Jekyll/Mr.Hyde has to stop.Anyhow, Hello all! I understand the importance of open talk,and willingness to be vulnerable. Thank all of you here for sharing!

FirstTimeAround

Welcome, I'm in by 9 weeks, and my W is walking, I did similar and got angry. Best of luck, I hope she forgives and supports.

KateL

Welcome. You made a good start by coming here xxxx

GracieLou

Welcome to SR. There is a lot of information and support, I am glad you are here.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Skeezicks

do you have a plan to help you stay sober?
D

goose333

Hi Skeezicks,
Make a plan. If we just say we're going to do something but have no idea how we're going to accomplish it... well it just won't happen.

Make a plan that works for you.
What will you do to help stop yourself from purchasing or going to bars?
Make a list of the things you dislike about yourself when you are drinking.
Make a list of the bad things you've done to those two women when you are drinking.
What will you do daily to help reinforce your resolve?
What will you do when the urge strikes?

Make a plan man. Follow the plan.

Goose

least

Welcome! I hope the support here can help you get sober for good.

LBrain

Welcome skeezicks,
I kinda like what goose wrote. Sounds like a good start.

Skeezicks

Thanks much! Love the quotes from Least,and the Plan from Goose...and everyone's support,I will spend some time today making my lists...I know this won't be easy but I am certain it will get easier.

Hevyn

Welcome to SR Skeezicks - we're so glad to have you with us.

This place saved my life. No one else understood what I was going through. My anxiety level went down greatly once I realized I had people to relate to. Reading the posts here and following the suggestions gave me the courage to change my life. I drank the same way you did long ago. I didn't do anything to stop the progression of alcoholism. My life would have been so different if I'd only acknowledged that I had no control once that first drink went down.

It may not be easy to kick this old habit Skeezicks, but it will be easier than what you're putting yourself through by drinking & jeopardizing everything. We know you can do this.