Selfish
Selfish
Just got off work. Wanted to go shopping but my kids provide me with too much resistance. My husband of course has plans that don't include any of the family, so now I have to sit home and pretend it's not bothering me. I'm tired. And for once I just want these kids to comply with my requests for a change. Clearly I have a major resentment at this moment.
Can you talk to your husband about his making plans all for himself and tell him that bothers you? I would also suggest possibly getting a sitter, if your kids are young, so you can go out to a movie or something.
I did talk to my husband, the thing is, he travels for work and "gets " to go back to a quiet hotel room at the end of the day. He doesn't "have" to deal with the demands of day to day life, the same way I do. On the same note, he misses out on the practices, the kids playing outside, the fun times as well. So if he wants to go shoot his gun for a bit, that's fine. When I had children, I made a vow that they would never be treated as an inconvenience, and so they aren't. None of them had any idea I had plans for this afternoon. I can't fault them for having plans with the neighborhood kids, or him wanting to go shoot his gun for a little bit.
I totally blew up because I selfish. Lol seriously, it's not the end of the world if I have to put it off for a day. I just have to not have expectations. The kids and I are going to dinner and a family night for the kids at church. We gonna have fun. And ya know, I have these little fits from time to time. I'm human, and I miss my husband and hate when people don't consider my feelings...,, prolly because for a long time I didn't consider others feelings when I was just getting hammered all the time
I totally blew up because I selfish. Lol seriously, it's not the end of the world if I have to put it off for a day. I just have to not have expectations. The kids and I are going to dinner and a family night for the kids at church. We gonna have fun. And ya know, I have these little fits from time to time. I'm human, and I miss my husband and hate when people don't consider my feelings...,, prolly because for a long time I didn't consider others feelings when I was just getting hammered all the time
I don't think you're being selfish - you're being human. As Moms we feel we have to put everyone's needs in front of ours. While it's true that we don't want our kids to ever feel like an inconvenience, there has to be a balance. Finding that balance is the hard part.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Midwest
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And ya know, I have these little fits from time to time. I'm human, and I miss my husband and hate when people don't consider my feelings
I have those "little fits" from time to time, too! I stepped over a curb last night and stumbled all the way across the sidewalk, finally wiped out on the lawn of the church our AA meeting was at. A bunch of people saw me wipe out, and I couldn't deny that I too, am human. My ego came down a couple notches there...LOL
Thanks, I appreciate this daily life moment you shared. You reminded me I am not everything...
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Like an inconvenience? What's the balance that can be struck if they are young children?
My point is that I'm not pushing them off on a sitter so I can go shopping. That's treating them like an inconvenience. I got over myself and realized that I was basically throwing a temper tantrum.
I know exactly how you feel. I don't know how old your kids are but taking mine shopping is far worse than going to the dentist to get my teeth filled. They are five and eight and not always well behaved. Running all over the place, not listening. A chorus of whining and crying in the back seat if I am taking them to the grocery store and they don't want to go. I am selfish about that time. I use the time at the store as not so quiet quiet time, to get my thoughts in order. So I get into a snit sometimes if I have to take them with me. Come on here and share. If my husband isn't around I sometimes ask my mom to watch them. Or I get in the shopping after I get off work before I get home. It always gets done. Somehow.
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